Bill, I like you, but you really don't understand this one. This vulnerability, if allowed unchecked, is akin to being locked in a cage in a house with money, with the keys to cage in hand.
If you have a VM on the machine (and many VMs in the cloud share with rental providers), you can access any memory of any OTHER VM on the machine... Yes, undetected, from within your own VM. In other VMs memory, there are keys, passwords, certificates, and all these can be accessed unchecked. That's how bad this is unpatched, and there is no exaggeration there.
In many ways, this is worse than heartbleed. It will depend on how fast cloud providers deploy the fix how much damage is done, though. That's the determining factor.
The performance penalty is exagerated. The security implications are not. Nor is the call of it being a "signifigant redesign of OS kernels." After reading they basically ripped out the shared symbol file wholehog (a mainstay since the 90s) I'm actually inclined to agree with the media: That's the biggest redesign in some time.