Took a gamble on eBay and didn't win as much as I had hoped (excuse my messy desk)...
...an ASUS G20CB motherboard with a Hyper 212 Evo, a delidded i7-6700, and 16GB of memory for $125. The seller listed it as "for parts or not working", and they suspected the motherboard was dead. I figured I could pull the CPU and memory out and stick them in my laptop.
The board booted into the BIOS.
Stuck the i7 and memory in my laptop...
...and it'll go into the BIOS, but booting into Windows caused a BSOD (as the seller described).
I suspect something went wrong while the seller was delidding it. I'll probably try delidding it again to see if I can fix it.
Not a complete loss though. I got a matching set of 8GB DDR4 SODIMMs (which seem to work just fine in my laptop), a 180W ASUS power adapter (which should work with my laptop), a 330W Dell power adapter, and a Hyper 212 EVO out of it. Haven't tested the motherboard, but since the CPU is dead, it probably works.