One thing I really don't get about all of these little pushes for diversity, acceptance, acknowledgement, privilege, so on... ...is this constant need to put labels on everything and everyone, assign priorities to them, and push each group into its own insulated corner. It just seems to me that their ideas are supposed to favor inclusion as much as humanly possible, in every minute area, but actually their practices are blatantly exclusionary. It's marginalization in reverse. Us against them really just puts both people in spaces that fundamentally can't be shared. That sort of back and forth can go on forever. One side asking the other to step down in the name of understanding clearly doesn't work. It's two wrongs trying to make a right.
I mean, really. Why, if you want everything to be open and everyone to be accepted, would anyone intentionally say and do things that directly serve to divide and stir up tensions between huge, sweeping groups of people? It just seems highly divisive for the sake of it. I really think in a lot of cases it isn't about unity at all. Or at least it doesn't appear that way. If it actually is, then it doesn't make a lot of sense. It's almost as though the conflict born of it is actually desired. It motivates people to say and do shitty things to each other - on both sides. And we feel good about it. I don't see where the understanding is even supposed to begin with a lot of these backs and forths.
We seem to like fixating on and creating problems that fundamentally have no answer. Strange as it may sound to some people, there really are things that we all will never agree upon. For one side to win, another would have to lose. Isn't the idea behind all this supposed to be that we all win? Sometimes I think that's the real fallacy. Though I also think it's all done as though to justify our existence in all of its misfortunes and poor choices... ...to validate our lives not being what we want them to be and diffuse personal responsibility for coping with that.
And that is the big thing. Not everything that happens to you is your fault. Everyone deserves to be free of suffering. Nobody deserves half of the problems they're stuck with. But even though it's not your fault, it's still your responsibility. It's still your problem. Doesn't matter who or what is to blame - it is literally interchangeable. This is a universal aspect of the human experience. One thing never changes there. There are certain things only you can do for yourself. It's never about what others can or should be doing for you. It's ALWAYS about what you are willing to do for yourself. And it is entirely up to you to figure out what works and what doesn't.
To me, everyone is disadvantaged in one way or another. The world itself is out to kill each and every one of us - all of the time! This world truly doesn't owe any of us anything. That is why we must make it a point to owe the world unto ourselves. If you can't or refuse to do that, you can't make it! That's best thing anyone can do in the face of the adversity that is inherent to just being a goddamned person. You are your own representative in everything that you say and do. Other people can never represent you quite as well as you can yourself. And if I'm honest, I think trying to change that is really stupid and actually serves to devalue who you are and what you're actually worth as a human being.
Obviously, we should all do what we can to minimize disadvantage. The world is a better place when more people have more chances to participate, be happy, and most importantly contribute. However... the moment you start looking at other people, what traits they have that you don't, opportunities they have that you don't, treatment they get that you don't... and you start seriously trying to define yourself by that, you're completely fucked. You really are. Because if you dig deep enough, you will ALWAYS find someone or something that's out to get you. Comparing yourself to others in that way isn't a healthy or productive way to build yourself up as a person, even if you really do deserve more. There is a real danger in defining yourself by your misfortune. Who you are is now conditional and therefore at the mercy of forces you cannot hope to understand or control.
Good luck on the whole being happy with your place in the world thing in that case. You'll find points of conflict at every turn, often when there was potential for understanding. You'll miss opportunities right in front of you while you're busy fighting for ones that as things are now, you simply are not meant to have. Whether it's right or wrong doesn't change reality. It's one thing to get the thought out, but another to make it your reason for being. We can change it to an extent, but it's not a cataclysm. It takes a very long time for that kind of social change to really take hold... ...in other words it's not happening in your lifetime. You're going to have to find another way to happy anyway. Putting everything on carving out the place you feel you deserve in the world is really setting yourself up for a fall. Life is too short, man! It's important to check your reasons for doing what you do. I highly suspect that many people out there today trying to change the world don't actually want to change the world. They just want to be happy. Just so happens some people feel like the world needs to change for them to stand a chance at that. It's actually kind of depressing to thing about. I can't imagine how that would feel.
All I see now are a lot of the wrong people trying to change the world for the wrong reasons - they simply aren't cut out for it and don't have it in them to make the world a better place for it. There is somewhere else they're supposed to be, where they'd actually be happy and they'd make the people around them happy. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people out there that I respect and appreciate for the things they accomplish - people with ideas that move us forward and the legs to bring them to people. Most of us don't have that. But some of us want to act like we do when all we're really doing is spinning our wheels and wasting precious time that could be spent trying to be happy by our own means. For gods sake, if all that you really want is to be happy, don't try to change the world. Leave that for people who want to change the world because they actually care about others and want the world to be a better place. Don't pretend to have reasons bigger than yourself when all signs point to it being about you. Terrible way to go, really.
Honestly, I think if people just focused more on solidifying their own sense of self-identity instead of worrying about how other people see and treat them, we'd all have a hell of a lot less to argue about. And what would be left is the real inequality. But at least then it'd be clear what was real marginalization and what is just a made up conflict scenario used to reinforce some folks fragile sense of core identity and get them ahead in life. Group identity can be the worst thing to ever fucking happen to someone. For real. It moves into the empty space within a person and promises a whole lot of things it doesn't deliver on. Almost never ends well for anyone. It is absolutely corrosive to a healthy, hardy sense of personal identity. And the worst part is that it all feels meaningful.
I guess for me, I don't relate as a simple matter of attitudes towards life. One thing I've learned very well at this point is that life is not about what happens to you. That is NOT what makes a person a person. You can't control what happens to you. Making yourself into a victim of circumstance is about the most crippling thing you can do to your personal development. It's not up to you how people will treat you, or what opportunities will be afforded to you. Knowing this, you can either obsess about how pinned down life has you and attack things from that point - try to carve meaning from that stone, or you can instead define yourself and justify your actions by way of the choices you make and what those choices represent, for you. And the funny thing is, when you have an existence that is self-justifying and you are focusing on making the best choices you can and just staying true to who you know yourself to be regardless of what happens to you, you often find yourself in places that better enable you to be you and do what you do. And suddenly the world doesn't seem so bad.
When somebody doesn't like me, or singles me out and puts me in a disadvantaged position, I say fuck em and look elsewhere. To me it is just so much easier and more fruitful to find a place where you already belong than it is to make one where there isn't one. The world is such a big place. Frankly I do not have two shits of a fuck to give about what people think about me or how many rations of shit I'm gonna get served simply for existing. It doesn't matter. What I couldn't forgive myself for was not focusing on being the best me I can... ...for wasting all of my time trying to change other people when I could've spent it changing myself into someone who's better equipped to get what he needs in a world that doesn't play fair. Nobody has the luxury of of that kind of time. The clock is ticking away, and the amount of time you have left to find happiness and personal satisfaction is dwindling. I feel like if you need other people to treat you like you for you to actually be and feel yourself, something is really, truly wrong with you. And until you figure that out, you will never be happy, even if the world bends to your will.
I don't think that is the case all of the time. I'm not meaning to single anyone out and I don't think anyone here is guilty of it. These are still conversations that need to happen. But I think for a lot of people with all of these chips on their shoulders and causes to uphold on all matters pertaining to identity and societal positioning, there is something missing from them as people... ...as if without being marginalized, who they are doesn't make sense and has no reason to exist. They exist only as a part of this group that could be happy and could be successful if only they weren't so oppressed by this other group. They made the mistake of asking themselves "why me?" and they've sure found their answer. Not an answer that paints a good picture for their futures, but an answer nonetheless...
At the end of the day, I don't think people have to agree with the choices other people make or how a person chooses to define himself. I think everyone's endeavors are their own and it is up to individuals to try to shape themselves and make decisions so as to maximize happiness and success in life, regardless of circumstances. Other people cannot do that for you, and if you really think that somehow by leveling the playing field you are going to be better equipped to appreciate what you have, seize the right opportunities, and figure out what you really need, you've got a rude awakening coming.
Like, imagine you encounter someone who just hates you. No logical reason... ...they just hate who you are because of who they are. What's the best way to deal with that? Why would you ever want to associate with this person? What do you want from them that's even worth having? Do you even care about what's best for them at all? Do you really want to know why they hate you? Should you? What benefit is there to forcibly surrounding yourself with these people and strong-arming them into pretending to be your friends? How does this end in anything other than conflict and tension?
That's the problem with comparing ourselves to others. The whole mindset of "You are not like me. You don't understand me. We have to do something about that." is absolute poison to our progress both as a society and as individuals. There's no "we" to that. You have to figure that out. Look at the hand you're dealt and figure out the best way to play it. Doesn't matter who you are or where you are, that's the name of the game. It's like when you're playing monopoly and everyone keeps asking for rule changes to stay in the game until the game has gone so long with nobody winning that nobody even wants to play anymore. Why does it seem like we all NEED for people to understand us in order for us to operate in the world. When did people become so fragile? Why has that become an attitude that is encouraged? I don't get on with this whole idea that you are unhappy because of what other people do instead of what you do... ...and that other people should have to change how they operate so that you can be happy.
There is discrimination in the world. It's a real thing. And then, there's... ...something else. Something kind of sickly and destructive to people in a really sinister way.
It's gotten so ridiculous now that it's become impossible to know what really, absolutely needs to be taken seriously and what is just born of a now very widespread problem with how we define ourselves. Too many people looking at other people, not enough really looking at and getting to know themselves. 90% of this crap is a total waste of time that could be spent actually producing things and becoming better versions of ourselves... ...versions so good that they don't need to be justified to others in order to function successfully. Instead we put so much emphasis on our differences that it is dissolving any real, earned sense of personal identity and thus pushing people further into that corner of being perpetually disadvantaged. Slowly but surely, we are ceasing to be unique.
Sometimes it's better to simply focus on what you can do instead of making it all about your lot in society, you know? That is what it takes to really overcome it. We all have things that we can't do by no faults of our own. But what we really desperately need to figure out is where we draw a line between when you simply look elsewhere and when something is actually wrong and needs changing. We need to stop being caricatures. Just be a person and leave the rest be. Geez. What I think happened is that we took what are supposed to be personal decisions and personal needs, amplified them to the max, and started trying to apply them to one another when it never really needed to or should've been that way. And now we're sort of stuck trying to come together on shit was never really meant to be hashed out in the first place.
