Idk if you were still talking to me, or just in general, but I didn't buy a 4090 because it had 24gb of ram, I bought a 4090 because I needed an upgrade from 8gb of vram, and also wanted a performance improvement since I was buying a new card.
Before the 4090 I did get a 4070 actually, but the first benchmark I did was heaven, in which I got only 1 fps higher than my 3070... which was pretty disappointing. This was probably because of bandwidth and the 8x msaa, which wouldn't apply so much in most new AAA games (which use TAA or something like it,) but I often find myself playing old games and niche games and am super sensitive to aliasing. And seeing how dldsr+reshade is my best way to combat that, I felt this bandwidth limit was relevant to me.
So like I said, I didn't really like the value proposition of either 4070 ti (same bandwidth limit) or the 4080, so 4090 it was. I mean think of it from my perspective, I bought a 3070 right before an avalanche of games came out with issues with 8gb cards, and not just at ultra, to play TLOU I had to use high settings and dlss balanced to get close the vram limit ( I was still over, but it was close enough to stop it from crashing). Oh and the 3070 had chronic overheating problems too.
I knew 12gb would be enough, and I was happy to pay 4070 prices for it, but not 4070 ti prices for it (especially with that bandwidth limit). For that I really would have expected 16GB. I don't think there's anything wrong the 4080, other than the price. $1200, thats a lot. So you can see how I just went for the 4090... and also... I was a little intoxicated.
Since getting the 4090 I am now totally using dldsr in every game, not just games with bad AA. Its getting to the point where running a game (even with good AA) at native resolution (1440p) just doesn't look right. So yes even though I have a 1440p display, I render at 4k.
Anyway I totally agree with everything you were saying about ultra not being necessary and all that. I usually go to the second highest preset by default, and tweak from there if necessary. And I don't use RT either, its not worth the power use imo. I don't like my 4090 even going above 300w. Most of the time its a lot lower than that. I don't shy away from using dlss either, it actually works great in combination with dldsr, for keeping the visual quality up and the power use down.