Realistically, if you are buying new, you have 5 choices: D3100, D3200, D5100, D7000 and D90.
D3100 is the cheapest of the bunch, and its not too bad unless you really need good pictures
D3200 is a Nikon videographer's dream, but that is not saying much as Nikon's video mode is still pretty underdeveloped compared to competitors
D5100 costs about the same as D3200, but it has slightly better in most ways other than megapixel count.
D7000 uses the same sensor as D5100, but has bling such as weather sealing, U modes and autofocus motor. This is the one you would get if you need the things. You will know if you need them or not, eg working in the rain.
And then you have a nice selection of macro and normal lenses:
For "normal lens" I would just stick to kit. A bit soft, a bit distorted, a bit slow, but all that problems can be fixed by stopping it down (to about F/8-11 and be careful with the extremes (55mm and 18mm). You will know if you need a better lens. The 35mm DX is loved for its cheapness and decent performance, if you need zoom there are other options. Don't get the 18-200mm unless you really want a do it all lens, I think its better to get the extra cheap 55-200mm or the slightly faster 70-300mm. Skip the 55mm-300mm, its neither cheap nor good enough.
For Macro, things get a bit tough because there are currently no "very good" macro lens for Nikon unless you are willing to break the bank or look for 2nd hand ones. 40mm is good and cheap, but too close. 105mm and above is ideal but a bit expensive. This one you need to compromise a lot.
Shop I used is DigitalRev, they are based in HK, have amazing prices and ships within 3 days.
Yeah 18-105 would do good for a start, just so you get the idea of what exactly you need. I used it for shooting some product, but I have to say that having a flash unit makes a world of difference, look into an SB-600 or the newer SB-700 (you can always get the flash later on, so maybe try without it).
Not too sure about flash, I would personally just get a lightbox instead of a flash. Much cheaper, and if you need a flash you can get it later, but you will almost always need a lightbox for macro.