So I was just about to leave the thrift store without anything, but I decided to check the electronics section one more time.
I spotted this at the last moment.
An old MacBook Pro for $20? Even for a parts unit, that's a steal.
It was absolutely filthy, had a huge dent in the corner of the screen, and cracked glass. But the display panel itself looked fine.
It has a 500GB hard drive and 4GB of RAM.
I grabbed a MacBook charger and plugged it in...
...and it works perfectly! It happens to be a 2012 13" MacBook Pro with a Core i5-3210M. It had a DVD copy of "The Devil Wears Prada" in the optical drive, so that's interesting I guess.
I cleaned it up and threw Windows 10 on it since the drive had been wiped.
The HDD has some bad sectors, but I'm probably gonna throw an SSD in it anyway. I also found that replacement screen glass is pretty cheap on eBay, so that's something I might do. The biggest challenge will be getting the sticker off of the lid. But for $20 plus a few cheap upgrades/repairs, I'd say this was a good find.