Too many.
"Hi, I'm sam_86314, and I'm a computeroholic."
Desktops:
Main PC (R5 2600X, 32GB DDR4, GTX 1070)
Spare PC (HP Pavilion 500) (i3-4150, 8GB DDR3, RX 460)
Media server (Dell Optiplex 780) (i5-2400S, 32GB DDR3, 8x3TB HDDs)
3D Printer PC (Mac Mini 2009 running Windows 10) (C2D P7350, 4GB DDR3, GeForce 9400M)
First PC I remember using (HP Pavilion a1250n) (Athlon 64 X2 3800+, 2GB DDR, Radeon X1950 Pro)
HTPC (Lenovo ThinkCentre) (C2D E8600, 4GB DDR2, R5 220)
Main PC in late 2015 (HP Compaq DC5800) (C2Q Q9550, 8GB DDR2)
mATX H87 PC (i3-4130)
Small form factor H55 build (Xeon X3470, 6GB DDR3, GTX 480)
Small form factor QM67 build (i3-2120M)
Acer Aspire 603G (Celeron J1900)
Three HP Deskmini 800 G2s, one of which is being used for parts (i5-6500T, 8GB DDR4)
Laptops:
Main Laptop (HP EliteBook Revolve 810 G2) (i5-4310U, 8GB DDR3)
Powerful Laptop (Clevo W650KK1) (i5-6500T, 16GB DDR4, GTX 1050 Ti)
Old Laptop 1 (Toshiba Satellite P55W-C5200X) (i5-5200U)
Old laptop 2 (HP G62) (Athlon II P340, 4GB DDR3)
Cheap Laptop (HP Stream 11) (Celeron N3060, 4GB DDR3)
Netbook (HP Mini 200) (Atom N455, 2GB DDR3)
Two more ancient laptops under my bed
That's not counting ones that I keep in my family's shed.
Also my old PC (i7-2600K, 16GB DDR3, GTX 780) which is at another family member's house.