Keep Law and Order! Police Simulator: Patrol Officers Available Now on PC, PlayStation and Xbox

[claes]

Yes, it's humor. I'm assuming you're British. And no, I don't have a license for my humor either.

These days a license is only $8 (or did they cancel that yesterday?), you might save yourself some hassle

 

[Valantar]

These days a license is only $8 (or did they cancel that yesterday?), you might save yourself some hassle

They cancelled the licences due to excessive (licensed) humor. Today you have to go unlicensed, but must instead start and end every sentence with a disclaimer that it is made in jest and is not meant to impinge on the honor of our eternal god-emperor, and your user name must contain [satire] or [lowly jokester].

 

[Aquinus]

Whoo-wee.

I tell ya, I don't think any mod particularly wants to wade in here but seeing as I've got beers to drink, I may as well say this:

The OP refers to a PC simulator game. I don't see much talk about a game. Pretty sure nobody talked about archaeology when the latest Tomb Raider or Uncharted games came out. So why is everyone talking about actual 'real' policing? Talk about the game. Hell, the most on point comment was the one that mentioned it was like a reverse GTA. US policing is not on trial here and TPU is not the forum to discuss it anyway.

If you can't make a light-hearted, jovial comment about what could be a fun (or bizarre) game, please don't waste your keystrokes. Now I'll go do some chins ups and see how many tomatoes get thrown my way.

That's because archaeology isn't a "hot topic," however police injustice is. There are a lot of people who don't like GTA for similar reasons as it's sensationalizing crime and this really is no different from that line of thinking. Also, I take more offense that the game is branded a simulator which means that it's intended to be realistic, such as Euro Truck Sim 2 or something, which is going to hit closer to home than a game that's explicitly intended to be fiction. So while I understand where you're coming from, I think it's sometimes hard to split the theme from public opinion. Take a FPS game for example, add some genocide to it, and call it a simulator and I'm certain people will get pissed.

 

[Valantar]

That's because archaeology isn't a "hot topic," however police injustice is. There are a lot of people who don't like GTA for similar reasons as it's sensationalizing crime and this really is no different from that line of thinking. Also, I take more offense that the game is branded a simulator which means that it's intended to be realistic, such as Euro Truck Sim 2 or something, which is going to hit closer to home than a game that's explicitly intended to be fiction. So while I understand where you're coming from, I think it's sometimes hard to split the theme from public opinion. Take a FPS game for example, add some genocide to it, and call it a simulator and I'm certain people will get pissed.

I'm pretty sure you'd find plenty of pissed-off folks around the world if you made the next Tomb Raider into a game glorifying 19th century archeological practices too - massive exploitation of native labor, large-scale theft of invaluable cultural artefacts, tons of recklessness and destruction in the name of "discovery", and so on. The thing is, Tomb Raider doesn't focus on that, but vaguely gestures at the exploits of Lara's father and instead focuses on fantastical and very clearly fictional present-day-ish adventure stories that even some times (but definitely not always) manage to avoid the inherent orientalism of the concept of "(wealthy) white person 'discovering' 'primitive' cultures". The difference lies in both the narrative/fictional focus and the self-representation at the same time, and you can't separate the two.

 

[sepheronx]

These days a license is only $8 (or did they cancel that yesterday?), you might save yourself some hassle

Problem is, I then have to get a license for the license of my humor. Once these licenses start to pile up, it gets expensive.

Instead, the money should go towards buying police simulator so I can learn how to be a beat cop and mistaken a garden hose as a deadly assault weapon.

 

[Valantar]

Problem is, I then have to get a license for the license of my humor. Once these licenses start to pile up, it gets expensive.

Instead, the money should go towards buying police simulator so I can learn how to be a beat cop and mistaken a garden hose as a deadly assault weapon.

This being a simulator, I'm sure you can find a few US police departments willing to hire you on the basis of having played this game, humor licence or not, so that way you can even recoup the cost!

 

[mechtech]

Why didn't you shoot him?

If this was UK police, and he didn't have a license for that knife, he could face execution.


Listen gramps, we are now in the 3D and possibly 4D realm now. We have far more pixels and we got Polygons.

When I want to fill a guy who jaywalk with lead, I want to make sure it's in 3 dimensions.

If only they made this game M for mature so we can have same kind of graphical squibs like in Soldier of fortune double helix.

Lol

Listen here son. I’m not a gramps……yet…….hopefully not for another 17 years or so….

 

[Dr. Dro]

Mods, please foegive me but I just can't resist! Here comes!
DLC 1: The Kenosha Campaign
DLC 2: Fentanyl Rage

My man

May I also remind you fellas who love some dark humor that the Postal franchise is on sale? Postal 2 Paradise Lost is more than worth the buck RWS is asking for it right now.

Good stuff!

 

[sepheronx]

Lol

Listen here son. I’m not a gramps……yet…….hopefully not for another 17 years or so….

OK Uncle.

This being a simulator, I'm sure you can find a few US police departments willing to hire you on the basis of having played this game, humor licence or not, so that way you can even recoup the cost!

I may be a tad bit over qualified to be a beat cop though. They gotta make me chief right off the street.

That said, I did initially apply for the local PD here when I was 18. They told me to grow pubes and drop balls first before I can apply. By then got into a different career.

 

[claes]

Cool story bro

Honestly think you should need at least a bachelors in law to be an officer. The number of times I’ve had to explain the law (specifically the FACE act, which is pretty straightforward federal law, but does have some nuance here in NYC due to NYPD’s operations orders, which were established six years ago) at a protest that has occurred monthly for the past six years, in almost exactly the same way every time, to an officer only to be referred to a lieutenant, and then the community relations department lieutenant (protest and community outreach police, who have been studying the protest since its inception), and then the legal team (who have also been studying and deploy TARU (technical support/surveillance) and the SRG (anti-terrorism, which has shifted to protest groups since there’s not enough terrorism to be fought)), who then have to look up the code on the app the NYPD built for them, and often then call their own chief to confirm (who has to call their legal team — ie the head of the legal department has to call up actual lawyers to confirm the thing they’re supposed to have been enforcing for six years), at a protest where basically no variation occurs month-to-month, is astounding. You’d really think they’d have figured out something after years of sending 300+ cops out for ~150 people monthly for this long, but somehow they still don’t get it.

I’m sure you have your reasons for saying as much beyond trolling, but most of the higher-ups I encounter in one of the largest, well funded, and technically advanced police departments in the world is… disappointingly, unsurprising.

Sorry for OT but I’m sure this German simulation accounts for US law in a faithful manner, as unclear as it often is, while being culturally sensitive to the differences between police in the US and Germany

 

[sepheronx]

Cool blog post Bro

NY sucks and I'm surprised anyone bothers to live there. Been there once and never again.

After watching CHUD I figured that was typical NY anyway.

 

[Valantar]

Honestly think you should need at least a bachelors in law to be an officer.

Here in Norway the necessary education for police work is a three-year bachelor's programme that mixes theoretical and practical learning (there's a practical/traineeship type of thing for being on patrol in the second year), including ongoing courses on ethics and community policing throughout all three years. Of course, the descriptions of these courses are made to sound as friendly as possible, but still, it's pretty comprehensive. And they still fuck up, they still heavily attract right-wingers, and they still have issues with abuses of power - just nowhere near what we regularly see from the US.

I may be a tad bit over qualified to be a beat cop though. They gotta make me chief right off the street.

You'll need another simulator for that I'm afraid.


Also, the key question: how are the donut shops in this game?