# Programming Paradigms



## Kreij (Dec 21, 2010)

*Notice : Stealth thread.*

All you coders hold a special place in my heart for helping others and doing your best to teach the next generation in how to be better coders and more importantly more helpful.

So .... answer my three questions and the best answer get anything they want from NewEgg for $100 or less (including shipping, I'm a little strapped from gas prices for heating). I will also do Steam game gifting if you want that instead.

*Rules *: 
1) You must have been a member of TPU for at least a month.
2) If NewEgg doesn't ship to you, I will, but the total cost has to be <= $100
3) This has nothing to do with TPU at all, just me. Merry Christmas.
4) If you get the chance to make someone who is less fortunate than you have a better holiday season, please do it.
4) Everyone welcome including TPU staff, their families and even old Aunt Mabel (if she's been a member for a month)
5) One *entry *post per member in this thread, but feel free to wish anyone a Merry christmas or Happy Holidays in posts, drink eggnog and get foolish (you have to abide by TPU rules, though). 
@mods ... a personal request to let some off-topic celebration go here as long as it's acceptable. (thanks) Also please do not change the thread title of my "Stealth Thread". 

*Questions *:
1) Santa does not hunt, neither do Mrs. Clause or the elves and there are no stores at the North Pole. Why is he so fat?
2) Finish this sentence ... "2011 will be the year of  _________________"
3) In ten words or less explain who you thinks acts more like an old duffer, me or Tatty (no he does not know I'm asking this.  Hopefully he will forgive me.)
(There are no right or wrong answers, it's all in good fun so don't bother gooogling anything.)

Last accepted post is Dec. 25th at midnight my time (US Central). Decision will be made sometime before the new year (hey it's a busy time !!!)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, from your Old Uncle Kreij.


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## FordGT90Concept (Dec 21, 2010)

1) The bane of Santa Clause: Milke n Cookies
2) ..."the world is going to end in 2012" discussions.
3) Tatty, because programming is hip (which you do). 

I couldn't pass it up but please, reward someone less fortunate than me.


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## Kreij (Dec 21, 2010)

We have our first entry !! Thanks Ford, and a Merry Christmas and blessed New Year wishes to you.


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## sneekypeet (Dec 21, 2010)

1) Gas
2)"2011 will be the year of awesomesauce if I win this"
3) You are! Only because Ford said Tatty


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## TheLaughingMan (Dec 21, 2010)

1)  Well red velvet is not very warm.  Like a polar bear he had to pack on the weight for safety.

2)  "...Coco having to chose a side in on-going war between Faux News, Comedy Central, and every other daily media outlet lead by CNN."

3)  I am sorry to say I don't know you or Tatty One very well.  Since you are giving away goodies to children, but making them compete for it; I think of you as more of an eccentric uncle that mom is afraid will give us beer when she is not looking.  Tatty One is the old duffer that speaks rarely and there is no arguing with him.  Just a nod and a "yes sir."

P.S.  I have been unemployed for 3 months and less fortunate than Ford...so can I claim his spot since he is giving it away?


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## streetfighter 2 (Dec 21, 2010)

1) Everyone knows Santa's a pimp.  Big red suit with matching pants and hat, with a fine-ass whip-- Brother had to be big!





2) farts (it never gets old! )
3) Golf sucks


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## Solaris17 (Dec 21, 2010)

{
/ 





> 1) santa does not hunt, neither do mrs. Clause or the elves and there are no stores at the north pole. Why is he so fat? because he is brainf**k or fortran 77, take your pick.
> 2) finish this sentence ... "2011 will be the year of go with google comming out with an os etc and cloud computing on the rise go will start to be seen in a mirade of applications sdk's and how to lit."
> 3) in ten words or less explain who you thinks acts more like an old duffer, me or tatty (no he does not know i'm asking this.  Hopefully he will forgive me.) tatty, he simply wants to hit people with sticks.
> (there are no right or wrong answers, it's all in good fun so don't bother gooogling anything.)



};


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## qamulek (Dec 21, 2010)

So I missed the "Notice : Stealth thread." part and read the entire thing thinking there was going to be something about programming involved...

1)  Santa is so fat because he eats nothing but pixies.  These pixies are stuffed into small cylindrical tubes for easy storage;  in some places these tubes filled with pixies are known as "pixie sticks".
2) 2011 will be the year of the rabbit.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
("")("")
3) Googled "tatty vs kreiji" and tatty was first:  tatty=biggerOlderDuffer


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## hellrazor (Dec 21, 2010)

1) Every year, he gets a plate of cookies from 90% of all housholds. 365 days in a year, you do the math on how many cookies he eats a day.
2) 2011 will be the year of getting our jobs back so we can lose them when ME3, Rage, and TES V come out.
3) You, because you are asking.


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## Solaris17 (Dec 21, 2010)

hellrazor said:


> 1) Every year, he gets a plate of cookies from 90% of all housholds. 365 days in a year, you do the math on how many cookies he eats a day.
> 2) 2011 will be the year of getting our jobs back so we can lose them when ME3, Rage, and TES V come out.
> 3) You, because you are asking.



hmmm this seems pretty legit.


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## Kreij (Dec 21, 2010)

gamulek said:
			
		

> So I missed the "Notice : Stealth thread." part and read the entire thing thinking there was going to be something about programming involved...


I changed it to red for increased visibility since bold wasn't enough


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## mrw1986 (Dec 21, 2010)

Kreij said:


> *Questions *:
> 1) Santa does not hunt, neither do Mrs. Clause or the elves and there are no stores at the North Pole. Why is he so fat?
> 2) Finish this sentence ... "2011 will be the year of  _________________"
> 3) In ten words or less explain who you thinks acts more like an old duffer, me or Tatty (no he does not know I'm asking this.  Hopefully he will forgive me.)



1: He only works one day a year.
2. Sandy Bridge and Bulldozer!
3. Tatty because he's a perv...look at his avatar! (Kidding,  you Tatty)


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## Wyverex (Dec 21, 2010)

I actually thought this would really be about programming and came here only to be (a tiny bit) disappointed and then when I read it all I was very much pleased 


*Santa does not hunt, neither do Mrs. Clause or the elves and there are no stores at the North Pole. Why is he so fat?*
Because he can, of course  On a _serious_ note, with all the kids leaving him cookies and milk, it's hard not to be fat 
*Finish this sentence ... "2011 will be the year of  _________________"*
The year of *great games*! (did you see all the good titles coming out in 2011!  )
*In ten words or less explain who you thinks acts more like an old duffer, me or Tatty (no he does not know I'm asking this.  Hopefully he will forgive me.)*
Google won't help us, but Google Fight will, and it says that Tatty is _the old duffer_
(actually, I don't know any of you that well, but... google fight knows right, doesn't it? )



Kreij said:


> Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, from your Old Uncle Kreij.


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and everyone else too


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## inferKNOX (Dec 21, 2010)

I can't get anything from newegg where I stay, nor have the bandwidth to download from Steam, but want to comment just for fun and in the name of holiday fun

1) He was preparing a layer of fat for insulation like a walrus over the years for this year's freezing cold winter in the North. (You asked why, not how, LOL!)

2) 2011 will be the year of JIMP for all those that love tech! (28nm, APU, Bulldozer, Sandy Bridge, etc)

3) The last one of you to vote for my UDTech petition, LOL!

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and God Bless you all!


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## olithereal (Dec 21, 2010)

1) He eats the elves.
2) ...whene Justin Bieber's voice will mature.
3) Tatty, because I've never seen him hanging 'round here!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to y'all!


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## Easy Rhino (Dec 21, 2010)

> 1) Santa does not hunt, neither do Mrs. Clause or the elves and there are no stores at the North Pole. Why is he so fat?



He is fat because the other 364 days of the year he is a full time programmer. 



> 2) Finish this sentence ... "2011 will be the year of  _________________"



...thanking Kreij for giving me the $100 prize.



> 3) In ten words or less explain who you thinks acts more like an old duffer, me or Tatty (no he does not know I'm asking this.  Hopefully he will forgive me.)



You are. Tatty's avatars are always young girls.


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## DonInKansas (Dec 21, 2010)

Questions :

1) Santa does not hunt, neither do Mrs. Clause or the elves and there are no stores at the North Pole. Why is he so fat?

A: Santa hits up the 24 hour McDonald's drive thrus during his run.  It takes a lot of Quarter Pounders to keep that guy going during the holidays.  All the milk and cookies he stashes in his sack for eating throughout the year.

2) Finish this sentence ... "2011 will be the year of _________________"

A: People freaking out that 2012 is just around the corner and ZOMG WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE WHERE THE HELL DID I PUT THAT Y2K BOMB SHELTER AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

3) In ten words or less explain who you thinks acts more like an old duffer, me or Tatty (no he does not know I'm asking this. Hopefully he will forgive me.)
(There are no right or wrong answers, it's all in good fun so don't bother gooogling anything.)

A: Kreij:



> Anyone who has time to worry about their hair getting gray has life WAY to easy.


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## MoonPig (Dec 21, 2010)

1) Cushing’s Syndrome

2) 2011 will be the year of MoonPig's dominance on the TechPowerUp forums

3) Tatty, he has good looking daughters. Me Likey


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## Kreij (Dec 22, 2010)

inferKNOX said:


> can't get anything from newegg where I stay, nor have the bandwidth to download from Steam, but want to comment just for fun and in the name of holiday fun



Read rule #2.


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## JrRacinFan (Dec 22, 2010)

1.) Easy: He let's all the elves do the work, causing him to sit on his fat a** for 364 days of the year.

2.) 2011 will be the first year of the next decade. DUH! 

3.) This is an obvious one: Tatty. You can just tell by how his posts are worded. (You said 10 words xD)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!


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## 3870x2 (Dec 22, 2010)

1. Santa only delivers one night.  The rest of his year is spent on his WoW subscription.
2. Skynet.  It all started when Intel created a Cutoff switch to their new processors...
3. Depends on which of you can understand this:

```
program rain
      real r, t, sum
      integer m
 
      read (*,*) t
      sum = 0.0
      do 10 m = 1, 12
         sum = sum + r(m, t)
  10  continue
      write (*,*) 'Annual rainfall is ', sum, 'inches'

      stop
      end
```
I think we know the answer to this


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## Kreij (Dec 23, 2010)

Over 500 views in 3 days. It's surprising how many people are interested in programming paradigms.


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## Flak (Dec 23, 2010)

1) He was put on a diet and exercise program, he is no longer fat.
2) "2011 will be the year of one free russian bride for everyone."
3) Definetly TATTY!!!


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## Kreij (Dec 23, 2010)

I have the feeling that anyone who visited this thread is going to check all the treads I create from now on. 

Oh, and BTW feel free to post here even if you answered the questions.  When I said one entry post, I meant you could only answer the questions once to be in the running. 
It is a Christmas celebration thread after all.
Eggnog for all !!! (hic)


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## streetfighter 2 (Dec 23, 2010)

I'd like a double whiskey and eggnog, hold the eggnog.

Merry Christmas and have a Kwazy Kwanzaa!!


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## JrRacinFan (Dec 23, 2010)

LMAO@ SF2

Hey wait a sec! Who took a picture of my house?


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## Kreij (Dec 24, 2010)

Lol ... I cracked up too.

Here is one of my Christmas faves, enjoy ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szLmAPW39uE


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## Velvet Wafer (Dec 24, 2010)

1. Everyone knows that Santa is a benevolent alien,from a very high evolved species, and is only able to carry out his work thru time jumps and replication technology, very different in design to future Starfleet variants, so he can in fact produce containers full of toys.... and also... vast amounts of the finest Food available in this Universe. Without the usual different taste replicated food has,of course

2. 2011 will be the Year of interesting revealings, and the year that politicians enter in their diaries as "bad year"

3. Tatty,his writing somehow feels older, yours is younger 

(edited the third question due to it beeing more than 10 words. forgive me the error please^^)


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## Kreij (Dec 29, 2010)

Okay, After reviewing all the entries (which were great) I'm going to have to go with Easy Rhino's answers as my favorites. All his answers were irreverent, concise and most importantly made me laugh the most.

@ER ... Send me your e-mail addy in a PM and I'll send you a 'egg gift certificate or ship you the item of your choice.

Thanks for all who joined in for a little fun and holiday spirit,  *and keep an eye open for more stealth contests*. You never know where they may pop up.


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## Easy Rhino (Dec 29, 2010)

OMG I ACTUALLY WON SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## TheLaughingMan (Dec 29, 2010)

can I demand a recount if there was only 1 vote?


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## caleb (Dec 29, 2010)

I didn't even bother since it was a single voter and shipping to poland is about 100$ ^^
Happy new year !


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## Kreij (Dec 29, 2010)

I shipped an SSD to Spain for $5 using USPS. Shipping is completely dependent upon the size of the item.


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## DonInKansas (Dec 30, 2010)

*grumble grumble* Damn mods sticking together *grumble grumble*

*flees and hides from the sniper*



Now how bout that fitty bucks you owe me, Rhino?


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## 3870x2 (Jan 1, 2011)

GJ!
I was going to send my gift to the crunching team on TPU.

ER winning eliminates the middle man


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