# Steam Skyrim Contest !!



## Kreij (Nov 8, 2011)

*Old Uncle Kreij's Steam Skyrim Giveaway!!*

This little contest if for those that did not pre-order and can wait until a week 
after launch to play Skyrim. Sorry, I should have thought of it sooner but I've been busy. So sue me.

*The Contest Rules*
- One official entry per person.
- All members of TPU are welcome to participate, including Staff.
- You must have a Steam account to win, so the game can be gifted to you.
- All entries must adhere to the posting guidelines of the forum. Keep it clean.
- Posting comments about other members' entries are allowed as long as they adhere 
to the TPU posting guidelines.
- Purposeful posting(s) that do not adhere to the guildelines will get you the same 
response from the moderators as in any other thread. You've been warned.

*The Contest Details*
Each entry *must *contain :
1) The name of a *PC game* that you feel is the *worst game you've ever played*.
2) A humorous rant on why you feel that the game you've chosen it the worst ever.

- The more you use crazed analogies and superfluous, extremely over-the-top verbage, 
the better. Exaggerated example of the pain and suffering you experienced are highly 
recommended.
- Posting humorous pictures of in-game problems is not prohibited, but will not be 
used as judging criteria. Make sure any pictures do not fall outside of the TPU 
forum posting guidelines. Please put pictures in spoiler tags.
- Anyone can participate for fun, but if you do not want to win please indicate so 
in your post.

*Duration*
- *Any entries that are dated prior to November 19th, will be accepted.*

*Disclaimers*
- This is not an official TPU contest, and by accepting the prize you agree to hold 
all members of TPU, it's staff (myself included) harmless for any problems that may 
occur from downloading and installing the game from Steam.
- Determination of the winner is decided by me (Kreij), and my decision is final.
- I reserve the right to obtain judging input from anyone I so desire. Anyone 
participating in judging WILL NOT be able to win the prize to keep it fair.
- In the event that the person declared the winner cannot accept the prize or does 
not want it, another winner will be chosen from the available entries.
- In the event that no one meets the requirements of the contest, I will use the 
money to buy beer or something.

Let's have some fun.....


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## scoutingwraith (Nov 8, 2011)

Worst game that i ever played was "Daikatana ". By far the worst game i have ever played. When it was all hyped and i managed to get it i was excited. After i played it though i wanted to personally find John Romero and beat him until it causes Hydrogen Fusion. That game was god damn awful. 

Steam name: scoutingwraith


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## crazyeyesreaper (Nov 8, 2011)

Magitech Corps Takeda 3

great premise of a game but soon you will be plagued with headaches not even a woman could dream up.The awesomeness starts when you try to run this 2009 title, it dosent support Vista or Win 7 properly as its running on Open GL 1.5 and the games coding is so old and broken not even using compatibility mode will work. The game has so many interesting features and deep gameplay buts its even more impossible with the UI glitching which results in clicking on anything being impossible, The only way to play this game is to be  cross eyed while standing upside down. Lets not forget the difficulty level you finally somehow miraculously get the game to run right on your 500th try, you start to play only to realize you didnt select a Force thats worth a damn, All I can say is good luck because wet paper bag filled with dog snot would make better leaders then the Generals the smaller factions are given. This game is like signing up to have a lobotomy because its what youll need to forget the craptastic over the top brokeness of the game. Should you get by those crippling issues and pick a strong faction your rewarded with a great game, that is untill you decide to control a 3D battle, then you get your arm chair generalness on and pwn the AI only to find when the battles over the UI magically screwed up again with everything displaced like the teeth on a bottom rung hooker. Even then if you somehow make it past that fact your AI Generals will betray you 10 turns in and then kill you The only thing worse then this game is getting tea bagged by PeeWee Herman, and not the imposters the PeeWee that got caught wanking at a porn theater. In fact stabbing yourself in the testicles would be more fun then this, at least then i could enter the BME pain Olympics and become known for how awesome my tolerance for pain is, The developer of this game series should seriously just jump off a cliff and there games buried someplace in a desert like the E.T Atari cartredges of old


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## FordGT90Concept (Nov 8, 2011)

*Big Rig: Over the Road Racing*



Spoiler: A picture is worth a thousand words









Your eyes don't deceive you.  That is, in fact, a three handled trophy.


And I thought it was actually going to compete with Hard Truck II (boy, was I wrong).  It is the epitome of EPIC FAIL.  So EPIC FAIL, in fact, it sold well because everyone just had to see how EPIC FAIL it was.  Yes, it's that EPIC FAIL!  And no, I'm not kidding (I wish I were).

YouTube: Mostly Complete Review

And now I am uninstalling it.  What a waste of 204 MiB of now-precious HDD space (curse you Thai floods!). XD


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## theJesus (Nov 8, 2011)

*I do not wish to be eligible for the prize.*

Runescape . . . *shudders* I can't bear to remember the agony and suffering caused by trying to play that atrocious coprolite.


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## b82rez (Nov 8, 2011)

I was going to say Big Rigz myself but it looks like someone has already beaten me to it. Shows just how bad this game *really* is..

My original entry was going to be "I rather punch myself in the dick until I had a vagina than play Big Rigz again"


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## theubersmurf (Nov 8, 2011)

The worst I ever played was the Atari 2600 E.T. Notorious for being bad, I had actually played this as a kid. And it's an experience, an awful one. 

My friend Jake had an Atari and a copy of E.T., I never really liked E.T., but I was always curious why it was so popular. So I would constantly look for the whys in whatever references to it I came across. I thought "Maybe I just don't understand it." I was, after all, 9 years old when E.T. came out. So I gave it it's chance to vindicate E.T. to me. This is one of those instances in which being open-minded sh@t in my mouth.

So one day I'm over at Jake's house, and I see the game, and I ask him. "Can I try that" He really doesn't want me to. Tells me it's terrible, tries to dissuade me repeatedly, but I'm insistent. He was a friend of mine, and probably didn't want to deny me trying out a game, so he let me. God I wish he'd tried harder. Or punched me in the face, or nuts, something to prevent me from playing this demonic turd of a game. This game was tedious to the point of being a kind of torture. The only action in the game is walking around looking for...something...I can't recall what it was because even though there have been articles and videos about this game that tell you the objective of the game, the mere mention of it takes me back to the horror that is E.T. the video game. My mind goes fuzzy and I recall...

There is no apparent objective, there is no story, there is no tutorial to help you understand what to do or how to do it. What there is, is holes. Holes in the ground you fall into and have to ssslllllloooowwwlllllllyyyyyy levitate yourself out of so that you can fall in another hole. Invariably a moment later. Since there is nothing but holes in the ground. One screen the same as another, you'll eventually go into the holes, looking for...anything to break up the tedium. No, you're just in a hole you have to sssllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy levitate yourself out of. It's tedium on top of tedium. Kind of like a triple decker sh!t sandwich to a kid.

If you are a sane person, You'll abandon this game part way through because of the tedium of it. I think I started to convulse after a point with this game. I remember the sound ch-ch-ch coming out of my mouth and Jake telling me we should go do something else. It's amazing that I still like video games after that experience.


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## lilhasselhoffer (Nov 8, 2011)

*Riven*

A "spiritual sequel" to the myst series?  Perhaps the game could be better titled as a spiritual successor to moon logic adventure games of the past.


To begin, this sucker came on 4 CDs.  At the time, my hard drive space was a whopping 20 GB, and this thing took up nearly 4 GB when unpacked.  To put it bluntly, the game stole more HDD space than my OS at the time.  

Moving on from the space hogging aspect, you've got the visuals.  They were good for the time, but that statement is more loaded than an NFL player running from the cops.  Is that blob of pixels worth clicking on, a hamburger, or an instant death trap?  Who really knows until you've done it.  Of course, randomly clicking on everything on screen was a choice punished as often as it was rewarded.

Speaking of instant death, everyone that believes instant death in a point-an-click-adventure should be beaten, eviscerated, and then strangled with their own intestines.  One random click, and you were dead.  There was no warning in most cases, and when there was warning it usually meant you would instantly die unless holding the right glob of donkey secretions on the right day at the right time.  Those wanrings were also neon lights saying you'll need ro activate this to continue on with the story, despite the warnings.  This was the first time that I could honestly imagine punching my computer screen...

Now all of these complaints assume you can figure out what is going on, which is a huge assumption.  It took me half an hour of randomly clicking on the first screen to figure out what was happening, and how to leave the first room.  Half an hour, and I still only just understood how to leave a room...  I could say that I was angry, but that would be the same kind of misnomer as describing a ghost pepper as "kind of spicy."

Rage boiling my blood, all I had to console me was the music of the game.  I would have been better blasting polka music with Bjorn singing along.  Horribly screechy whines, tunes that repeated after six seconds, and unique sounds that were either variations on a fart or a cat meeting Mr. Blender...  After the first ten minutes I wished that my testacles would ascend and block my ear cannals, given that would be less painful than continuing to listen to this crappy sound track.

Now let's cover the bread-and butter of adventure games, the inventory screen.  I would be afraid to buy drugs from whoever sold the coders their supply, something that strong could kill you from the contact high.  Inventory screens for each type of item, items that could randomly be equipped, and a handful of completely useless items that took up inventory space.  It was kind of like Mouse Trap, with a dozen items that couldn't be used catch the mouse, which were nearly exact copies of useful items.  How you could tell the difference is still well beyond me.

Finally, we come to the pay-off.  Adventure games usually have bizarre stories, bookended by proposterously convoluted scenarios.  These games were often like purchasing a Rubiks cube that would open up and release candy when solved.  On the other hand, Riven was like buying a hooker in a dark alley.  You wound up with way more baggage than you thought, a series of diseased content that might well force you to succumb to it, and an ending that came out of nowhere and left you with the biggest case of plot hole blue balls ever.  


For the money, you could have purchased either Doom or Wolfenstein.  Both of these games put out in both the story line and action elements better than Riven, had sound tracks that were tolerable, and looked just as pretty.  If you spent any money on Riven it was too much.  For my time and money, assuming a hefty dose of penicilin is available, you know what I would have preferred.


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## garyinhere (Nov 8, 2011)

Kreij said:


> The more you use crazed analogies and superfluous, extremely over-the-top verbage,
> the better.



I deem this contest unfair... it is clearly made for crazyeyesreaper to win... :shadedshu


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## Kreij (Nov 8, 2011)

garyinhere said:


> I deem this contest unfair... it is clearly made for crazyeyesreaper to win... :shadedshu



I thought of you while creating this contest, gary, but I honestly couldn't come up with a single thing that you are any good at.  lol

Give it a shot everyone. You're all half batpoop crazy anyway.


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## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

*Game* - Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

*Reason* - This is by far the worse game ever in existance! The game comes with shitty detail, No boundary's, and even worse NO SOUND! So astoundingly bad that it manages to transcend nearly every boundary put forth by some of gaming's absolute worst of the worst and easily makes it into that dubiously extraordinary category of being one of the most atrocious games ever published. If you hate someone, and I mean HATE someone, give them this game as a gift, in the hopes that they’ll play it, because that way you can say to them, “haha, you’re an idiot who plays Big Rigs!” I wish I could think of some redeeming factors for the game, but there simply aren’t any. Imagine a game that would make "Smokey and the Bandit" look like Gilbert and Sullivan. I know it's difficult to imagine but Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is so pathetic it makes a sandpaper-and-vinegar enema sound positively delightful. Not that I would know.

*EDIT*
I know FordGT90Concept and b82rez posted same game as his worst but I have to agree and put my own opinion in here about it


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## Kreij (Nov 8, 2011)

*Game :* Dungeon Lords (Initial Release)

Some games raise the bar of game design and excellence. Some meet the standard, while others don't try and just run under the bar. Dungeon Lords did none of these. It lowered the bar until it was laying in the dirt and then proceeded to mimic a fetid, pus oozing mole and tunneled under it. To call this game a tower of suck would have been elevating it to a level it didn't deserve.

The game was missing features and had some problems, but that may be nit-picking.

 Do you really need an in-game map in an RPG? Isn't wandering around having no idea where to go, or where anything is at, or what direction you're facing part of the hallowed bliss of exploring? Just because all of the models and textures look the same doesn't really justify the work required to make a map.
 Do you really lose immersion just because in most of the towns there was nothing in the buildings … like people … or furniture of any kind? Could it be that they purposefully left out the map in hopes you wouldn't find anything and realize that there was nothing interesting put in the game?
 Don't you really find it kind of humorous that entrances to areas would throw you backward instead of allowing you inside? Perhaps because there was nothing in there anyway.
 Is it really that frustrating that half the time the NPCs, that were supposed to be following you, were stuck in trees? I'm pretty sure that accurate path finding and good AI is highly overrated.
 Doesn't having items simply vanish from your inventory just make the game more of a challenge? Aw, hell, I didn't really need that magical broadsword anyway … I still have the rusty dagger I started with at the beginning of the game.
 Does it really matter if buttons on the interface do anything … at all? Can't we all just marvel at how nice they look and their placement on the screen, even if clicking on them does absolutely nothing?
 Was having to restart the game, because I chose a skill at level one that stopped the interface from working because there was no skill to pick at level three, all that inconvenient? Maybe it was that I was trying to advance the rather complex character class of “fighter”.
 Is it all that bad that after casting spells and draining all your mana as an "adept", your melee ability stopped working too? I called it the death stance because your odds of dying at this point were right around 100%.

In the few hours I actually spent trying to play this game, I realized that it would be infinitely more fun to be gagged and bound, sitting in my own feces while watching someone light my feet on fire.
Some of the reviews said that the dungeons were the best part. Unfortunately I was never able to keep this miserable abomination running long enough to get to one. This bottomless cesspool of coding effluent was barely ready for alpha let alone a general public release … and I say that in the kindest way possible.

In short,  Dungeon Lords had managed to do the seemingly impossible … it lowered the bar of game quality so far that it made other horrific games seem like a Godsend by comparison.


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## Wrigleyvillain (Nov 8, 2011)

Hah! I know of Big Rigs from some Worst Games Ever list. 

I'd participate but I can't wait a week to play! 

And great contest idea. These are an interesting history of suck and also hilarious!


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## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

Wrigleyvillain said:


> Hah! I know of Big Rigs from some Worst Games Ever list.
> 
> I'd participate but I can't wait a week to play!
> 
> And great contest idea. These are an interesting history of suck and also hilarious!



To beat it all! I STILL HAVE THE GAME INSTALLED!!!!


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## Kreij (Nov 8, 2011)

Wrigleyvillain said:


> I'd participate but I can't wait a week to play!



So enter just for fun. We all enjoy a good laugh when someone thoroughly trashes a game they hated. 

Remember people, your entry must refer to a PC game as the rules state, if you wish to compete.
If you do not want to win the prize, and are entering just for fun, you can post about any game on any platform.
You can post more than once about PC games, as long as you indicate which is your official entry, as only one entry will count. If you have more than one post on PC games and do not indicate which is your official entry, you will be disqualified.


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## Wrigleyvillain (Nov 8, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> To beat it all! I STILL HAVE THE GAME INSTALLED!!!!



Oh...wow. LMAO! 



theubersmurf said:


> The worst I ever played was the Atari 2600 E.T. Notorious for being bad



You are too kind. This game is notorious for *being the worst of all time* and the shining example of the type of crap the market was flooded with then leading to the Video Game Crash of 1983.

I hope the scars from having played it as a child have begun to heal a bit almost 30 years later.


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## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

Wrigleyvillain said:


> Oh...wow. LMAO!



YEP...


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## Marineborn (Nov 8, 2011)

Sacred2....this game...oh this game.....so i was like SUPER SWEET Diabloesque game to give me something to do. so i buy it, and it doesnt work so for 3 days i scour the internet find random fixes, and random shit to try to make this shitty game work and i fiannly get it working SUPER SWEET!!! then i make a account, play a little get bored quit, next day i go to play, my account password wont work, so im like okay call the company they tell me they cant get my account back cause the company that makes it doesnt exsist anymore, im like WTF did i just pay for!! so luckily i had another cd key laying arund for it so i used that 
so i start playing and theres like no way to follow the story there is just random quests everywhere, it doesnt make sense you just wander around amlessly and hit things with sticks, the classes are awefull, SO STUPID!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i


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## DannibusX (Nov 8, 2011)

The worst PC game I have ever played.

CoD: Modern Warfare 2

I expected much, much more from this title.  I was really excited for it and even pre ordered it for 2 separate platforms (PC and Xbox).  What I got on release was one of the most imbalanced and broken games I can remember in recent times (aside from the Dead Island - Xbox Dev Preload incident).

Infinity Ward came out and said there wouldn't need to be a beta, because they know how to make a game that works.  That IWNet was the next great step in online gaming and that MW2 will use Steamworks and VAC (which actually _is_ good.)  They were warned about using VAC as the anti-cheat with a lack of dedicated servers or a vote to kick option.

The turd sandwich they released didn't only let me down.  It let me down twice.  I prefer to play my games on my PC so I bought it for that, and I play over XBL with my real life friends.  What I found in both was several game breaking bugs like the javelin glitch, care package sprint 'n stab glitch.  On the PC side I got to see hackers run amok, get VAC banned and then find a way around that very VAC ban.  On the Xbox side I was treated to not being able to use the party chat system to drown out the 12 years olds who called me racist names and had tons of sex with my mother.

Then there were the "features" like grenade launchers for every gun, Scavenger picking up spare grenade rounds and claymore mines.  Every time I walked around a corner I caught a grenade round to the chest.  I was extremely displeased.  Then you had the Nuke rampers who had to ruin as many games as they could.

Most of the issues were indeed patched, but not for a couple of months because every employee at Infinity Ward went on vacation for three weeks following the release of MW2.

Seriously.  F**k that game.


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## Wrigleyvillain (Nov 8, 2011)

F**k that whole franchise.


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## Kreij (Nov 8, 2011)

I forgot to add that there is no exclusivity in this contest.
If someone else has posted an entry about a game you hated, you are welcome to make an entry about the same game with your own diatribe.


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## yogurt_21 (Nov 8, 2011)

I was having a hard time figuring out the worst game I've played until I saw the post on riven. And now as random and as crappy as it was it was still a beatable game that you could give an explanation to the randomness as it was a world designed by a crazy man. So that at least made some sense.


But Really Myst IV takes the cake for me. It is a game so bad that Myst V sits in an unopened (read never to be opened) package because of it. Now the game starts off all nice with a new storyline and a new camera gizmo, only it gives no indication of why the hell you need it. Oh well cool camera. now enter the original villians from Myst. Nice touch...if you actually had any real interaction with them. 

but hey cameos are all the rage right? We'll lets enter their prison worlds and see what's up. 


Ok wandering, wandering, wondering why the F I'm here. At first glance there seems to be no known way to progress and After a bit you leave one to go check out the other. 

So apparently on one prison there was an area where a big cat like creature chases you and you have to call monkeys to throw crap at it. Sounds fun right? We'll it just happened to be impossible because how you call the monkeys was with a manually cranked horn and how long you crank it changes the tone. each monkey had a different tone and the window of time to call the correct monkey sequence to progress was impossibly short and monkeys would revert back to their initial positions.

WHY THE F WOULD YOU DESIGN THIS? 

the game devs must have all gotten together and said "alright it's the 4th one, it' time to up the impossibility ante. Now how can we torture the users so badly that they wish they were never born?"

At any rate after the big cat thing you find this special little chair. Now what would you do with a chair? Most people would sit in it and get up. No see you apparently needed to stroke this snake like looking thing wrapped around the arm of the chair 4 times to get it to move so you can progress. Now there is no indicator that you need to interact with this thing whatsoever. In fact how you would even figure out to stroke (rather drag as you would a file) this thing is one of those mysteries that keeps me up at night. Then to know to do it 4 times is like "wow, so the game devs built a game only they would know how to beat."

needless to say I left the chair and went back to the base world because who the F would know to do that? I mean to figure that out you must have to be an uber pervert stroking everything on the map until you randomly do it on an object that interacts that way.

Apparently I should have been stopped hear because you shouldn't be able to progress, no i find a book in the base world and it leads me to another random puzzle filled world. At this point I had given up and started to look online, I found out all about the damned chair and that there was another thing you had to stroke in this world....


Seriously game devs, get a hooker or something and stop trying to torture me.


anyway you get to this door which has a random set of colors you were supposed to memorize from another impossible puzzle that takes place in a dream world....

so I'm in a dream where I can enter the world of specially designed books, am in one of those books, in another dream?

Right....

Anyway I had no reason to write down the order of colors from that earlier puzzle and was stuck. get this there is no "the order is" cheat for this, the order of the colors was specific to your game and you must go back to that earlier save to fix the issue.

F'ing brilliant.

At this point I quit.

Several months later out of pure boredom I go back to the save, write down the order, and get into the room. Only to find a possessed little girl you have no idea is possessed and upon freeing here, I lost the game.

You see you were supposed to leave the good little girl strapped down and listen to the other villain in the room because the other villain was inside the girls mind and has taken control. And you need to listen to that villain so you can enter that dream world too and go through another set of torturous and arduous puzzles just to get a random happy ending.

F that!

I've never bothered to finish the game and I never will. The puzzles make zero sense, the plot makes zero sense, the graphics aren't that spectacular, and there is literally zero character development. 

There is nothing redeeming about this game other than it's torture properties that will likely yield far more information that water boarding, the rack, whipping, starvation, electric shock, or 100,000 paper cuts ever could.

This game isn't worth the time it takes to destroy it. Seriously.

I liked Myst, hated Riven, liked Myst III, so if I fought through riven you'd think I could muscle through this one to see what myst V was all about. But I just can't Myst IV has to be the worst game I've ever played bar none. There wasn't  a single redeeming quality about it. not one.


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## qubit (Nov 8, 2011)

*Angry f* Birds!*

Angry Birds on Fa$ebook. Yeah, you bloody well heard that right.  WTF is it so damned popular? Everywhere I go there's something on it, in the supermarket, on my mobile phone, heck even the sodding train station! I just can't get away from it. Aarrgghh!!!

I hate that game. I _really_ hate that game. It's such a f* crap POS, even crappier than a Lada or an *Apple Mac!* Big time waster. It's only fit for 3 year olds. All those lame-ass tweety things and sh*t you do on lame-ass Facebook and your friends then play it too and go all "ooh" & "ahhh" soppy over it, sharing the "experience" with you. So f* gay. :shadedshu GTFO _NOW!!_

I know it's sh*t and I haven't even played it and I DON'T BLOODY HAVE TO so get this crap outta my sight NOW!!! 

*Anyone on here admit to playing it I'll get you PERMABANNED!!!* And that includes the likes of *Kreij**, *erocker* and yeah, even *W1zz*, no one's safe. I'll ban the whole bloody forum! Muhahahaha!!!

*This compo don't get you off the hook, matey.


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## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

I play it on my droid when I am at the doctors office or something..


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## qubit (Nov 8, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> I play it on my droid when I am at the doctors office or something..
> 
> http://memebase.com/wp-content/themes/vip/cheezcommon2/ragecomic/packs/troll/images/Troll.png



Right that's it you're gone!  qubit's increasing blood pressure

Note from Kreij : When Q's head explodes watch out for angry bird-brain shrapnel.


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## Solaris17 (Nov 8, 2011)

It was 0137 EST zero hour. I was enjoying a cig or 2, quietly browsing the steam store. While my investigation of the current deals proved fruitful I came across what I thought was a jewel, While my cart was almost completely full brimming with the new binaries I managed to purchase on my mediocre salary I was cheerful and soon to be susceptible to the worst game purchase of my life.
     The game was operation flash-point: Dragon rising. A very cool sounding game. The screenshots spoke of its heavenly demeanor. A beautiful mix between COD BF and the squad play of the tom clancy series. At $4.99 I thought I had stumbled upon the diamond in the ruff. I bought it. As my download completed on the better then usual network speeds im used to I booted it up. Thats when it hit me. The ghost like figures on my screen, the sharp detail the thousands of pixles displaying in ultimate joy the HORRER within. My god what have I done? the tearing was improbable the texture maps looked like my sisters failed attempts at a decent lasagna.
     It was a sham I had been had. I tried for hours is my quiet room the sound of typing and the slow burn of a somewhat decent cigg in my mouth only ruined by the taste of stale air in my mouth as I held my breath waiting, no pining for the configuration changes to apply. The screen when dark the echos of a 256bit audio stream making my speakers scream with a loop only nascar could love. The PC had frozen. Frantically I rebooted slamming my finger on the delete key hoping it was me, hoping I had killed the beast, maybe I missed something some minute detail a mhz here a mV there. It was all stability. Foolishly like a coke whore I was convinced it would all be fine in the end.
     My god how foolish. For the next 2 hours the game bucked and rolled no driver on the planet could calm the monster and no amount of ciggs could change the way I felt. Then it happened. I was in. My prayers answered and my memory void of all the other games I purchased. I was high on the feeling of calming the beast. I played and I played hard. Something was nipping at my though something deep within. I had finally found it. It was all around me. 2d bitmaps. The bushes were lack luster. The mouse acceleration was all fucked up. 
     My squad mates were about as intelligent as the rock that bullets could go through. I was being shot. no support the map was fubar. Reloading took to long for a second i was almost certain I was using a hawking. I was dying fast I saw one of the squad get shot i the knee a killer blow for sure. Except it actually killed him. This was madness I ran up to the house took down one or two men, I cant remember its all hazy. Then i was inside. I miraculously walked through a wall. The hesitation was killer, Literally I was shot given my depth perception and the tracer round which I knew I disabled Id say it went through my neck.
     I spawned the second time wasn't much better level 1 map 1 area 1 a bloodbath till the very end. Not one to give up I raced I strategically Placed I had more suppressive fire then the seals, but I might as well have been a beached wale I was pinned. The best I could muster was staying alive. I went for it. I made the men push I ran around taking the flank. I got them all except the twins in the small shack. frag out one ran the other didn't notice the impending doom. 
     Target acquired. I ran after the other. blind fire has a better name. shooting with eyes closed. I was so close I sprayed bullets ahead of me I got down to about 4. I stop he swings around I take to the red dot to guide me straight and true. He shoots im hit I strafe left blood on the screen but im still moving my legs working on sheer will. I steady and take aim. I got him upper chest 2" below the neck. 10ft out ill make the shot and he will drop like a comet. The bullets whizzing by I breath in this is it. ban ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
     Audio loop the game crashed. I never figured out what happened that day. Everything else worked fine. The benchmarks the games the music. I never went back though. its just one of those memories. the ones you cant talk about the ones you hope you'll never remember.


----------



## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

qubit said:


> Right that's it you're gone!  qubit's increasing blood pressure
> 
> Note from Kreij : When Q's head explodes watch out for angry bird-brain shrapnel.









HAHA?


----------



## qubit (Nov 8, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> http://images.sodahead.com/polls/00...itten_makes_head_explode_cuteness_xlarge.jpeg
> 
> HAHA?



Oh god, kitties are my weakness. Why did you do dis to me?


----------



## 3volvedcombat (Nov 8, 2011)

That fucking Burger King 360 game...... (When it barley came out) 

that GAMESTOP sold to me for 10$. 

like 3 maps, and 3 races, and buggy as tracks with serious clipping issue's.........

I was a little kid back then so I did not know shit about game's/geometry/engines/ ect ect...






I was looking for something about racing back then, took it back and grabbed some other game with an extra 5 dollars on top, I think need for speed underground(Decent game).


----------



## DonInKansas (Nov 8, 2011)

garyinhere said:


> I deem this contest unfair... it is clearly made for crazyeyesreaper to win... :shadedshu



Fortunately his brutal spelling, punctuation, and grammar skills work against him so it's kind of a wash.


----------



## DannibusX (Nov 8, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> http://img.techpowerup.org/111108/desktop.jpg



Brandon.

From the bottom right corner.

Three icons left.  Three icons up.

Embiggen plz.


----------



## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

DannibusX said:


> Brandon.
> 
> From the bottom right corner.
> 
> ...



Thats my wife LOL


----------



## DannibusX (Nov 8, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> Thats my wife LOL



Embiggen, plz.


----------



## brandonwh64 (Nov 8, 2011)

DannibusX said:


> Embiggen, plz.


----------



## Solaris17 (Nov 8, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> http://dl.dropbox.com/u/34835733/Pictures/pics 001.jpg



Solaris17 is AFK


----------



## FordGT90Concept (Nov 8, 2011)

I added a video to my official entry.

Unofficial entries (honorable mention):

*Restricted Area*:  It's an RPG that started out alright but within hours, it became clear that it was an anti-entertaining grind fest.  I decided I was going to beat it no matter what so I whipped out the memory editor to fast-track completing the game.  Not only did it disappoint quickly, it added insult to injury when the game ended up in hell itself.  If Big Rigs weren't so terrible, this title would have readily taken its place as the worst.  Most of you probably never heard of it and I don't blame you for it.


*Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (PC)*: This thing is gushing with "bad" and "wrong."  Let's start with the obvious: the x-axis on the mouse is backwards!  You have to move the mouse left to look right and right and to look left.  It drove me insane throughout the entire game.  Less obvious is how the game is a major departure from The Longest Journey which was very well done.  The gameplay is different as it was shifted from a point and click adventure to more of an action-adventure.  It didn't work well simply because the engine they used for it served that role poorly.  Add to it the fact that the plot was complex and mostly unrelated the original title was disheartening.  And the worst aspect of all, I couldn't stand the voice-overs of the lead female role.  Nothing is a turn off more to a game than grinding your teeth everytime the main character interacts with someone.


*Myst III*: Because II and IV are getting so much hate, I had to pick on III.  The reason is simple: It was a complete departure (gameplay wise) from I, II, and IV.  Not only that, but it seemed to have a completely random plot that was largely incoherent.  It also abandoned the picturesque, beautiful imagery in the aforementioned titles for a 3D engine that would have been fine in the other two titles didn't exist before it.  You simply can't change a series that dramatically and expect to get away with it.




Solaris17 said:


> Solaris17 is AFK


Too. Much. Information!


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## Easy Rhino (Nov 8, 2011)

no fair, this contest is tailor made for crazyeyesreaper!


----------



## Delta6326 (Nov 8, 2011)

*Never mind I couldn't wait and bought the game.*

Game: The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion

Why: I had to apply a mod so I could get naked girlz... and shank them from behind..





JK shanking is bad


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## Kreij (Nov 8, 2011)

Easy Rhino said:


> no fair, this contest is tailor made for crazyeyesreaper!



See post #10 and add your name after gary's. Thank you.


----------



## Wrigleyvillain (Nov 8, 2011)

Delta6326 said:


> Game: The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion
> 
> Why: I had to apply a mod so I could get naked girlz... and shank them from behind..
> 
> ...



Um...


----------



## ZakkWylde (Nov 8, 2011)

911 paramedic, terrible terrible game. You were supposed to be a paramedic arriving on the scene and giving medical attention to some wounded person. You click and drag medical devices onto the person and it tells you their status. The whole game is static pictures of bodies which you click at and read about. If it was for training purposes it fails too as I've read that what it tells you to do is wrong lol. So not only is it a horrible gaming experience, it may kill someone from something other than boredom.


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## AlienIsGOD (Nov 8, 2011)

qubit said:


> Anyone on here admit to playing it I'll get you PERMABANNED!!! And that includes the likes of Kreij*, erocker and yeah, even W1zz, no one's safe. I'll ban the whole bloody forum! Muhahahaha!!!




OMGWTFBBQLOL !!! I play Angry Birds every day and night, may just stop playing WoW and BF3 for more aviatory goodness


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## Wrigleyvillain (Nov 8, 2011)

AlienIsGOD said:


> may just stop playing WoW and BF3 for more aviatory goodness



Well you're on the right track with the first one, there...


----------



## theubersmurf (Nov 8, 2011)

Am I overlooking it, or is there no deadline in the OP?


----------



## qubit (Nov 8, 2011)

theubersmurf said:


> Am I overlooking it, or is there no deadline in the OP?



It's here:



Kreij said:


> *Duration*
> - *Any entries that are dated prior to November 19th, will be accepted.*


----------



## AsRock (Nov 8, 2011)

It has to be Revenge of the Rednecks for me like OMG that game re thinking the memOOrys is painful.


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## MilkyWay (Nov 9, 2011)

I did read the rules so you can count me out as i cant bare to write anything funny about this game but Turning Point: Fall of Liberty for PC is terrible. The AI is the main problem, its not very smart and then later on in the game it starts to get heavily scripted. The level design is terrible and the game is boring.

Extreme Paintbrawl 1 and 2 are really shit games


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## mediasorcerer (Nov 9, 2011)

The alpha protocol, i burned myself with that purchase. Absolute shocker. I think i was on it for about  3 minutes before quitting. "role playing espionage" haha.

It was priced for 2$ on steam i think, 2$ too much! {insert snicker}

Come to think of it, theres one more to add, Heroes over Europe, should never have been made.


----------



## AlienIsGOD (Nov 9, 2011)

Wrigleyvillain said:


> Well you're on the right track with the first one, there...



well played sir  honestly tho i took almos a year off of WoW and it did me some good.  Ima kinda guy that like to stick with one or two games for the long haul.

ON TOPIC: worst game i have ever played was Kings Quest series (pick any of em).  I couldnt stand teh 2D scrolling maps with no depth, which made walking on stairs or narrow paths very difficult.  I may have only been 10-12 years old, but I made the proper decision to quit while i was ahead.


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## theubersmurf (Nov 9, 2011)

So My initial entry failed because, I didn't read the rules carefully and entered an Atari 2600 game when the content is restricted to PC titles. But this is okay. TBH, I had thought entering ET to be a bit mundane anyway, it's an easy target.

So the worst PC game I think I've ever played, Was Lost Planet: Extreme condition. This is the worst thing I'd ever installed on a PC whose purpose was ostensibly to give me some kind of pleasure. Virus infected pornographic applications have given me more pleasure, including the cleanup process.

I remember it being billed as an FPS title. This was, at least by default untrue. By default it's a third person shooter, and having lived through some older titles that attempted this, that alone made me wary of this as a potentially heinous pos. 

It was a capcom title, which actually intrigued me at the time. An eastern take on FPS? This could be really interesting!!! Oh the folly and the failure. This is, another instance of having my curiosity sh!tting on me.

The first tip off that I was about to eat another sh!t sandwich was The cast of an anime meeting me to debrief me. This was my crew apparently, some kid, an underdressed girl for a planet covered in ice. An ostensible leader whose face needed "Douche" tattooed on it both forward and backward so that the people dealing with him knew what they were in for and he himself could read it in the mirror he likely lovingly gazed into so that he could be reminded what he was, since he'll doubtlessly forget.

That and the hamstrung story, a denizen of the planet called an Akrid (presumably "acrid" reworked into a species name). That killed my father. Really? On a planet called EDN III (Eden[facepalm]) A particular akrid, with a monstrous countenance more akin to an animal than a man I'm giving the regard of wanting revenge on. This makes no sense. In all honesty I didn't make it to the confrontation with the Akrid that killed my father in game, so I have no idea if it bears any sort of weight later on. But All the Akrid I encountered in game did not seem sapient, and I find the idea of revenge on animals akin to psychosis, (Look into Captain Ahab here) but anyway, the rationales of bad games are...something, and this was indeed, something. Probably there is a little something lost in translation as well. But coming to the conclusion to eat vomit made more sense than the rationales in this game.

So the game plods forward from your first encounter with the the anime team and yourself into a frozen wasteland that doesn't look entirely horrible. You shoot stuff, it dies. Pretty simple. But not a functional FPS title. The responsiveness of the character while in the first person is poor to say the least. Your gait is slow and mechanical. It is not conceived of well as first person shooters go. It's pacing makes it drudgerous, and the sluggish, clumsy movement make it unplayable as an fps. I know many of you play fps with great relish, and you're aware of your need to be able to respond, both quickly and deftly. This was neither, it was not meant to be played as an fps. Oh well, I sort of thought, maybe it will work another way. I'll keep going for a bit in the third person.

There had been a cancer growing in my brain the whole time however. The game requires the accumulation of heat which you store for the purposes of health and ammo. If you know anything about heat, and you likely know at least a little, you probably know about the idea of entropy. Entropy says that eventually, there will be equal energy in all particle's collisions, such that there is no heat, or equal heat, exchanged in collision. There will be equal energy, in all collisions committed by all particles. That all heat will be equally distributed around the universe in a dusty particle field. This can be a little challenging a concept, but heat, in part because of this phenomenon, is hard to store in a conventional way. In this game you have an implant on your arm that stores heat. Storing heat is challenging. You need a large volume to store heat without dense, heavy, high pressure storage. And things like that are dangerous to carry on your person. Actually the word is "Explosive". 

Scientists consider heat capacitation akin to a pipedream. It may not be impossible, and they work toward it every time the opportunity seems to present itself, but it's not considered, well, likely. They hope it exists, and if it does we have some super useful tools at our disposal, but it's not considered very likely. Chemical storage seems to be the best method. 

Similarly superconductors of heat are likened unto Kim Kardashian getting it on with Steven Hawking. A desirable idea (well, for him it would probably an amount nice, provided she didn't try to communicate anything) but not very likely. There is the storage of energy in chemical bonds. and this is sort of the safest. There are some stable chemical forumlations that take specific methods to get the energy out, C4 is one you're all familiar with. 

So some kind of chemical storage unit, or perhaps an undescribed heat capacitor is on your arm in game. Which is effing scary. That heat has to come out somehow, no matter what, that heat has to come out eventually. The very notion of carrying around a heat capacitor on your arm is absolutely frightening, and literally stupid in a hostile environment. Which the game sets the stage as your being in.

I don't usually quibble over unexplained science fiction provided it sticks kind of close to reality. Even if they take an hypothesized concept and make a hash out of it, I'm often okay with that. But storing heat is dangerous and in a hostile environment literally crazy, and that thing needs to be reworked. It steps over the line from being ill-conceived into the realm of the idiotic. The akrid, drop what I think is an organ that provides heat when they die. Now you probably know heat is stored in the form of calories in the biology we're familiar with. Fat, and muscle, and the glucose the fat can be burned into. 

I don't know the hypothetical exobiology in the game but your'e taking chemical energy and picking it up off of corpses, and processing it into...something. Are you eating it? How else does one process biologically stored energy other than to eat it. It is the process of eating in a nutshell. So perhaps your heat capacitor is partially biological? Who knows, Some sort of storage of heat is going on, and not through insulation. I will admit that this is something that bugs me about this game, some others may not look at this very closely, but the core point of this is, Entropy says this heat needs to get out eventually. And it will. Which means you're carrying a big charge of something on your arm in a hostile environment. Which is effing stupid. And you don't need to be an engineer nor a physicist to understand it. You're carrying a potential bomb on your person. Bad idea in hostile environs.

Some of you are probably saying something like C4 is very stable without the proper ignitors, that is well stored chemical energy. This is true, but this capacitor or whatever on your arm is constantly taking up energy and dispensing it for use as ammunition. This thing is volatile, like your RAM. This thing can kill you.

I apologize for the lengthy explanation, however, The idiocy of this story device and in-game device made my brain hurt. This is the kind of stupid that makes sci-fi into schlock. It's in the arena of Arthur C. Clarke's "Any sufficiently advanced technology will appear as magic" category. But the leader of the anime characters, that douche I described earlier went unfazed. Somehow the grav gun in Half Life 2 and it's children I can take more easily, probably because it's taken seriously in part, They at least address it a little. In Lost Planet, they don't even gloss over it. Actually, I think it's just that HL2 is a better game, but they bypass it directly. I guess the game devs don't really have a sense of how cool that kind of technology really is, or it's useful applications.

It was always on a nerve and in collusion with the poor action of the game eventually boiled until I wanted to go burn down Capcom's headquarters with some thermite, compressed LOX, and some boiled fat for them to chew while I burned down their headquarters and explained to them these ideas about the way heat behaves.

The tedium and stupidity eventually collided in the culminated in the uninstallation of the game, and me getting mighty drunk, swearing that they needed some sort of reckoning for this. Capcom is a good game developer. I'm not the biggest fighting game fan, but I like watching, and in this arena Capcom is excellent, Perhaps peerless. But in the world of fps they are children, wearing hats covered in macaroni art and weird little colorful pieces of plastic designed to make them look (to a child's mind) like an alien.

But anyway, my hang-ups about the clearly bad science aside, this game blows the elephant man for peanuts.

I have the sense that this title sort of worked as a console title. And if that's true, more power to those of you that enjoyed it. However, as a PC title, well, It's just not a good game. The action is slow and mechanical for an action game, and the story is like slurping dog sh!t through a straw.


----------



## burtram (Nov 9, 2011)

The worst game I've EVER played, had to have been Dungeon Lords on PC.

The ENTIRE skill tree for the healer type, did NOT work at launch... it had to be patched. 

Then the supposedly random dungeons that were claimed to exist on the back of the box, didn't actually exist in game until a few patches later, a few months or so after the game was out. 

One time I had started over, because I got stuck behind a door that was trying to open, but was pushing me into the corner of the room, and the door would NOT swing the other way, until it finished its original closing... Then when I started the new character, a dragon came from over the mountains and started attacking my newly made level 1 character, and about after an hour of shooting at it with arrows/spells, it dies and I gain a ton of levels. 

This game alone, has made me check who published the game I am about to buy, because if it is Dreamcatcher, then I will NOT buy it, until I know for absolute sure, that it is not a POS like Dungeon Lords was.

This game, is my benchmark for bad games, I have yet to find anything close to as bad as this, that I have played, or owned.


----------



## Delta6326 (Nov 9, 2011)

Delta6326 said:


> Game: The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion
> 
> Why: I had to apply a mod so I could get naked girlz... and shank them from behind..
> 
> ...





Wrigleyvillain said:


> Um...



I was trying to make fun of the mod that someone made for Oblivion:shadedshu. It's a great game and I played it on Xbox so you can't mod anyway.


----------



## JC316 (Nov 9, 2011)

Hands down the worst game I have ever played on PC is Far Cry 2. I loved the first one and it was on sale for $5, so I figured what the hell, right? Yeah, that is like saying, I will stick my dick in a light socket, what the hell, right?

So the game opens up and I am in a shady hotel and apparently, I have contracted the herp or some other random disease. I look around for a Tridgent that might have given it to me, but no. Then I go through a hazy combat sequence where I die 5 fucking times thanks to all the motion blur.... What the shit is this?!?! Farcry 1 was hard, but this is insane... Finally get past that and they I am told that I have to look for factions and help them..... At this point, I quit the game to make SURE that this is a far cry game...... Title says far cry 2, so it MUST be related to Far Cry is some way right? Maybe it will get better. So where was I? Oh yes, help factions out, to do this, you must drive 100 clicks to the other side of the map and kill some random asshat.

At this point I am starting to get the sneaking suspicion that this is Grand Theft Auto: Jungle edition, but I figure what the hell right, it might get better. So I start driving. I quickly find out that the traffic laws are FUCKED UP in this game, get shot to death for failing to yield at a checkpoint. Knowing that the laws are fucked up, I reload the game and kill every last son of a bitch at the checkpoint before they have a chance to ask for my license and registration. Next up, my car is broken down, "Hold f to fix your car", being a mechanic, I think SWEET, I get to fix it. I found out that I want to be a mechanic in a world where you can fix a cracked engine block by tightening down the distributor with a pipe wrench...

So finally, I get to the other side of the island where I have to kill some asshat. My gun breaks down RIGHT when I don't need it to, I knew that I should have bought more quality shit. Die 10 times and finally get it right. Now I am going back to get my reward and I happily speed through the checkpoint where I killed all of those fuckwads, only to die by the fresh new set of fuckwads that appeared out of nowhere.

I have finally had it, I uninstall the game and start making plans to sue for false advertising.


----------



## Homeless (Nov 9, 2011)

The worst game I've played recently is probably Alchemy.  The entire game is just matching different "elements" together to form a new compound or whatever.  I have no idea how that game has 4.5 / 5 stars as it's quite possibly the most boring thing i've ever played.


----------



## qubit (Nov 9, 2011)

JC316 said:


> Hands down the worst game I have ever played on PC is Far Cry 2. I loved the first one and it was on sale for $5, so I figured what the hell, right? Yeah, that is like saying, I will stick my dick in a light socket, what the hell, right?
> 
> So the game opens up and I am in a shady hotel and apparently, I have contracted the herp or some other random disease. I look around for a Tridgent that might have given it to me, but no. Then I go through a hazy combat sequence where I die 5 fucking times thanks to all the motion blur.... What the shit is this?!?! Farcry 1 was hard, but this is insane... Finally get past that and they I am told that I have to look for factions and help them..... At this point, I quit the game to make SURE that this is a far cry game...... Title says far cry 2, so it MUST be related to Far Cry is some way right? Maybe it will get better. So where was I? Oh yes, help factions out, to do this, you must drive 100 clicks to the other side of the map and kill some random asshat.
> 
> ...



I think you should just go postal.


----------



## Irony (Nov 9, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> http://dl.dropbox.com/u/34835733/Pictures/pics 001.jpg



So i'm scrolling through the forums, get to page 2 and I'm like, "WHOA, GIRL!!! And its a pretty one too!! I haven't seen one of those since I joined TPU! Could it be because I've spent my waking life here? Nah."

And then I noticed that Dannibus Hasn't posted anything since then. And then I think to myself, "he must've decided that women are almost as good as peices of silicon and gone to get himself one." And then I thought "was he really that diluted? Silicon is obviously of superior quality." 



I'll probably die for that.

Edit: 
As for worst game, I only play the good ones.


----------



## crazyeyesreaper (Nov 9, 2011)

I find it funny everyone thinks im a shoe in to win this contest.... ive read all the entries theres better ones then what i posted for sure.


----------



## Iceni (Nov 9, 2011)

The worst game I have ever played on PC is EVE online.

The game is stunning visually, The Interface is complex, and the world is highly detailed.

The learning curve is frankly insane But i persisted, Learned how things worked, What the various skills did, How to get my ships, money, and fight.

However the game is lacking not in content, but in gameplay.

For an online, huge imersive world where you can do anything go anywhere and be anything you want to be, Why oh why do i always find myself doing the same 3 missions regardless of where in space i go. 

Firstly there is a kill mission... Go here find out you need a better ship, Get a better ship, tool it up and kill, Awesome! until you get into a decent enough ship that the game changes from been a fight to a damage mitigation contest.

Secondly there is a collection Quest... Go here collect this! awesome till you realise that you need a Different ship with different gear. So you get the ship and the gear, Go out kill a couple of mobs, then Start up collecting for a short time.... Mission done.

And finally there is the Survival mission. Go here and Last for X time, Again great when your on the learning curve, But once you get a ship that can Deal with the level 4's then you have maxed out what your capable of solo..... 


So you may think go for the all important level 5's!!! Well you could but there for multiplayer, And no one bothers with missions, they go into Harder open areas and grind on random spawns. So there is no played level 5 content.

This gives the game on average the learning time of the Battle cruiser as playtime solo. So in 6 months if you haven't found a corporation, Or something to do in game your basically a floating space fairing loser along with the countless other floating space fairing losers.

I think the reason it failed me so badly is content. I have played wow and the endgame content is pap, But if you took your time getting to the end the levelling was pretty good, Go here, talk to this faction, kill some nice looking creatures, encounter some pretty nice bosses, Enjoy a well rounded story with a very polished world that runs seamlessly into itself.

Morrowind was another top game, Spend a few weeks doing the main story, go all over the island, kill Dagoth, then go back to Balmora... and try some of the other stuff. The game never ends content wise. You walk in any direction for 5 mins and someone somewhere comes and asks for help... There is a complete world there. 

Eve should be an awesome game, It's had Development time, It's had cash, and more importantly it has some user created content.... So where are the system battles, Refugees, The battle lines between factions, And the immersive missions outside of the main story line (which was pretty dull) to make you feel you are living in a real world with people rather than machines....



I then though i was missing the point of the game, and Invited a friend to come join me in Eve, and we would learn something new! He signs up, we get rolling on our builds!!! were going to be miners and crafters woot!!!! After another 3 months he quits.... Turns out the game is pretty boaring after you mine your first few chunks of Veldspar.... 

Maybe i missed the point, I don't know, maybe the game wasn't handed to me on a silver platter, with a side of onion rings and a cold beverage.... But the game could have been so so much more, and it turned into a 2 dimensional, totaly unimersive, flop for me!


----------



## qubit (Nov 9, 2011)

@Iceni

I'll second that. In fact, while I created a character and started flying around, I couldn't get into it at all and the whole learning curve was far too much to be fun. I just gave up after a few attempts.

But it sure looks gorgeous!


----------



## Ahhzz (Nov 9, 2011)

*Tribes : Vengeance*

So, I was looking this morning to see if anyone knew about the Tribes:Ascend beta going on, and found a short, 4-response thread. In this thread, I found my entry. I couldn't really think of a game that just really sucked. I've played some like Painkiller:Overdose that really just didn't do it for me, and a few console crappers, but nothing that really stood out as an "Oh my GOD that game SUCKS!!".... And then I read the T:A thread, and I found my salvation. To quote my response to some poor misguided person...



> shame on you. T:V was one of the worst abortions of a video game I've ever seen. It was the leftover from michael bay eating himself, starting with his toe jam, and finishing with the head cheese crammed in his ear wax.



This refers to Tribes : Vengeance. When Tribes 2 came out, around 2000 or 2001, I was early into the game, and got sucked in at once. By 2004, We were looking to T:V to revive a slowly dying Monarch. On October 5, 2004, T:V was released to great acclaim, and much dismay to the Tribes community. Dynamix had sold to, or been bought by, Vivendi, and they had SCREWED us. The game play was abysmal. The inventory system, which is how you choose your class and suit for the game, was BROKEN upon release!!! They had to patch it a few weeks later to make it work, and the nightmare still continued. In March, pending a second or third patch, they simply cancelled support, and said "Suck it, losers!!!"  Basic gameplay was broken, play was unbalanced, and the Tribes community took a collective kick in the nuts, and limped back to the T2 servers, where the Dynamix team took pity on us, and eventually released T2 for free download. 


So, that's my sob story, and my entry to the event. Tribes:Vengeance. I'm sure there are other games out there similarly abandoned by their developers, but I doubt many so quickly, and none that I know of.


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## douglatins (Nov 9, 2011)

Thats a tough one, since i cant remember my bad gaming experiences as much as the good ones, especiallly on the PC, my worst one was from a game i bought at the supermarket at age 10, installed the game, it was so ugly, pointless, awful, first person/RPG/Myth but failed at everything so much i played for 10 minutes, uninstalled, broke some cd's and use the rest as cupholders, which later went to a school arts project


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## qubit (Nov 9, 2011)

douglatins said:


> Thats a tough one, since i cant remember my bad gaming experiences as much as the good ones...



Hint: make it up and make it good.  Here's an example.


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## Deleted member 3 (Nov 9, 2011)

Just play Big Rigs and write about your experience -> Free Skyrim. You're winner!


----------



## Widjaja (Nov 9, 2011)

Harley Davidson - Road to Sturgis PC

I remember thinking, yeah a Harley game!
Harley's are known to be heavy handling, well.....when you have the pressur sensitivity of a keyboard and a draw distance of what seems 100m there is plenty of opportunity to bail and die.

The amount of time I would slowdown to try and pick up some chick hitchhiker only to find I either ride straight past her or ride straight into her, bail and die.

Then some random level pops up where I have to make it up a hill while someone throws pigs down to make me fall off my bike. 

Because of the countless head-ons with cars, women hitchhikers and pigs I never made it to Sturgis.

----

Was going to add this as the entry but it the conditions make it void.
Still it was a shitty game:-
Crossbow - The Legend of William Tell for Amiga


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## mlee49 (Nov 9, 2011)

The worst game ever is The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, that damn game sucks because I played for 75 hours straight and all I did was create a character.

I tried to fight the bad guys but dagnabit every time there were these aliens...








and well needless to say...






I was kinda confused to say the least. 

I could go on for days but DantheBanjoman's dial up internet is getting killed by my pictures.

I dont want this game, all the ads make it look like the best game ever invented and the graphics are pretty but they aren't in-game graphics and I've already stalked dungons and killed many-o-dragons.


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## Bjorn_Of_Iceland (Nov 9, 2011)

The worst game I ever played was GodsWar. It was this 'free' browser based mmo rpg that I tried for the lulz. Game was so bad that it went passed the horrendous guage, back to good, then pointed back to redline bad again. Walked around, asked some people in game for some nude pictures of them, then typed '/slits wrist' in the global chat. Aparently its negative aura was rubbing off on me. Alt+f4.


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## DannibusX (Nov 9, 2011)

Irony said:


> And then I noticed that Dannibus Hasn't posted anything since then. And then I think to myself, "he must've decided that women are almost as good as peices of silicon and gone to get himself one." And then I thought "was he really that diluted? Silicon is obviously of superior quality."



I didn't post anything because most images are blocked by my works firewall/network set up.

Hard to fap to a little red x.



crazyeyesreaper said:


> I find it funny everyone thinks im a shoe in to win this contest.... ive read all the entries theres better ones then what i posted for sure.



You're a total shoo in to win this contest because of the fact that the worst PC game you've ever played is _every PC game you've *ever* played_.

Kreij should honestly change the thread title to "Sweet Contest to give Crazyeyesreaper a free copy of Skyrim over Steam".


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## brandonwh64 (Nov 9, 2011)

DannibusX said:


> I didn't post anything because most images are blocked by my works firewall/network set up.
> 
> Hard to fap to a little red x.



I embiggen the picture your requested


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## DannibusX (Nov 9, 2011)

brandonwh64 said:


> I embiggen the picture your requested



Yeah, but I haven't been able to gander at it yet :/

Thank you good sir!


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## Black Panther (Nov 9, 2011)

*I'm not taking part in the contest.*

So here's what was my worst game, and at the same time one of the best games which I enjoyed in my early teens (talk about girls being confusing, huh? )

Hexen: Beyond Heretic

I was really hooked on the game, addicted I should say. Playing it every chance I got on a 486. I don't even want to remember what graphics card that machine had... :shadedshu

I thoroughly enjoyed the gameplay (I always had a penchant for first person games and in 1992 or whatever year it was the graphics were just awesome, even better than those of Crysis). 

But at the same time I'd feel my stomach lurch and turn, ready to throw up any moment  I'd keep gaming on, till I was too "sea-sick" to do anything except drop dead in bed.

Later, when I started reading up on how computers work and what could cause sickness in games, I thought perhaps my graphics hardware on the 486 was underpowered for the game. But then I don't remember stuttering or freezing.

I just watched a youtube video. Actually watched only the first 2 minutes and my stomach is all tied up and knotty again! Deja' vu!!

Perhaps it's the way your character 'bounces' while walking? Or the extremely low textures which come up as large squares on your monitor if you get too close? Oh and the "Ugghhmmph" sound he makes if you hit a wall definitely doesn't help either, since it sounds like me suppressing barfing!


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## qubit (Nov 9, 2011)

Yeah BP, I think I can see what made you sick with that game: it's indeed the bobbing up and down. The vertical movement is very large and coupled with the shape of that movement, it does induce a slight feeling of vertigo - and this is coming from someone that doesn't suffer motion sickness in FPS games. I can imagine how playing it for a long time would make the symptoms build up. I normally turn off bobbing whenever possible, because it's annoying.


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## JC316 (Nov 9, 2011)

Black Panther said:


> *I'm not taking part in the contest.*
> 
> So here's what was my worst game, and at the same time one of the best games which I enjoyed in my early teens (talk about girls being confusing, huh? )
> 
> ...



Yeah, it's the bobbing. I love Hexen and never got sick off from it, but Forsaken on the N64, that one made me very sick to play.


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## Irony (Nov 9, 2011)

@qubit: Angry birds is awesome. How could you possibly not like Flinging a variety of birds through a slingshot into bloated green pigs trying to pop them all for stealing an egg that could've hatched into more totally dispensable Angry Birds???!!

1nsane is one of the worst I've ever played.


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## Mussels (Nov 9, 2011)

worst game i ever played was "TPU"

Its a browser based game that almost requires a triple monitor setup (no eyefinity support!) for multiple browsers open at the same time.

its constant grinding fights based on grammar, spelling, trivia knowledge and comebacks to defend against the fact you're 'upside down' in australia.

Mini bosses up the difficulty drastically, and the boss fights can ban you from the game entirely leaving you forced to buy a new account from a street corner hobo. (he goes by "Erocker")

Even if you win all the fights and become one of the elite few all-powerful 'moderators' your most effective weapon (BanHammer!) has a side effect of 'whinge', wherein all the family members, friends and associates of those that have been hammer-timed, send you private messages (some sort of side quest system, never really explained) where you have to engage in even more grinding battles, except with no reward for victory except a clogged inbox.

I also have the iphone version of the game, but the interface is too slow and it causes more grammar issues, losing me some of the fights.

The one and only redeeming value of the game is occasional challenge missions by Qubit/Kreij.

edit: minimum play time of 6 hours a day. 10 recommended, or you lose some missions by not being there at the right time.

[/end]


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## Kreij (Nov 9, 2011)

Good one Mussels. ROFL
Maybe I'll write up a "TPU game" review in your honor.


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## qubit (Nov 9, 2011)

@Mussels

You've done it again - work of genius!


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## Delta6326 (Nov 10, 2011)

Well I know I wasn't going to win, but I just wanted to say that I broke down and went to gamestop got the game for $15.


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## jasper1605 (Nov 10, 2011)

It was the best of games; it was the worst of games.

Welcome to Rookgard of the prominent world of Astera! Here is your torch now go kill rats with your bare hands and bring me their bodies so I may worshi... wash them and make them into jackets... yes jackets.  

And so began my questing of killing rats in hopes of ascertaining the coveted level 2.  Wait! Look! A level 7 and he wants to teach me how to play.  Intrigued, I leave the safety of Rookgard walls into the wild that even Jake Sulley would have cringed at after being in pandora. 

EEK spiders are attacking and I only have a torch that does.... 0 damage! Oh no I'm poisoned now!  Level 7 character, give me some antidotes please! Level 7? Where are you? The darkness begins to set in; I've been betrayed.  My first friend used me as bait against the spiders... To quote Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory, "Why have thou forsaken me God whom I deny the existence of?!"  

Suddenly my knight in shining level 7 armor reappears; I'm saved!  Only this time he has a dark demeanor about his 2d bird's eye view character. "Pay me and I'll heal you," he states.  "But I have no money to pay you, only the gratitude in my heart."  Callously, he walks away without saying a word; leaving me to the cold, lonely fate of dying at the hands of spider poison.  Lost and far away from my loved ones in town, I embrace the fact that I will be losing 40% of all of my experience gained by slaying rats in a cellar.  I lay down, and let life slip away from me...

I am reborn! with no money, torch or experience I vow to never trust another person ever again and stay in a cellar killing rats with my bare hands until I reach the level to escape Rookgard and venture into the main continent of Astera: level 8.  After weeks of training, I have attained it and leave the peasant noobs behind being betrayed by that same level 7.

In Astera I am welcomed to a group of level 120 knights who say they'll teach me how to play the main continent.  Excited about my level 8 achievement I forget my one solemn oath of never trusting.  I was led to a den of spiders, but I was armed with sword and shield and slayed them all.  The knights leave my screen but before the third one fades from view he leaves me with a  and vanishes.  My battle icon comes up; another spider. Piece of cake.  Only this time, it was a giant spider; it one hit killed me: the once proud Randomoxide was killed again by a member of the spider family.

Enraged, my keyboard was split in half by the energy flowing from my body, the screen begins to melt from the heat emanating my once calm face and windows crack from the valkyrie shrieks coming from my throat.

2 and a half years later and approximately 6,000 hours I am a level 52 mage.  My task? press F12 every 22.5 minutes then hold the control key and click 3 hams.  I was the runeweaver of my guild.  Oh no! I'm out of meat; I shall go hunt for meat.  Elephants are good sources, I drop to the level where they are and all of the sudden my character freezes in time paralyzed by fear of such a raging beast not wanting to give me 2 meats from its corpse.  I try to move but no response: the window closes.  Randomoxide was trapped in an interdimensional rift between Tibia's servers and my ISP's beyond sub-par internet connection.  I could have mailed the data back and forth faster than Time Warner was sending it.  By the time Time Warner decides to give me internet again, Randomoxide was trampled by the elephants, my body looted and I was demoted to level 48.


Tibia in and of itself was the worst game I've ever played simply because I spent so much time to lose so much each time a mistake was made.  It was the best game I ever played because it was so addicting I could sit for hours on end just pressing F12 to make another batch of Sudden Death runes to sell to acquire my Boots of Haste (only to have them looted when I died).  What are the results of my work? A broken keyboard, whole months of my life gone (at least shared the acct with a friend haha) and my character has since been cleared from the servers just like Arnold Schwarzenegger would 'Erase' someone.


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## andrisk1 (Nov 12, 2011)

Deal or No Deal's recreation for PC.
Actually I played 2 versions of it, one that is so bad, it is a DVD, but game for pc is atrocious. Its highest resolution was 800x600 to start with. If you have watched deal or no deal, and know how Howie Mandel looks with his signature soul patch, well in game it is pixelated beyond recognition. :shadedshu The only thing entertaining maybe once in a blue moon for like family night is the multiplayer. You can either play hotseat, or just one game per person. The best thing about it is making fun of it. 
I just thought it would be nice to share thism so nobody gets the game.







I know its an IGN picture, but it fits everything about the game.
If my very slim chance of winning actually happens, my steam account is andrisk1


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## Darkleoco (Nov 13, 2011)

Not an entry but nice to see people doing things like this


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## Irony (Nov 13, 2011)

Okay, it came out yesterday. You can gift it to me anytime. 

jk


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## xBruce88x (Nov 13, 2011)

hmm... well the worst games i've played... anything that has to do with Zynga. Seriously... every game seems to play the exact same. It starts off as just you playing... then you get the feel for the game and realize its kinda easy and fun... then you look over and see you have to buy credits to really progress... and on top of that you pretty much have to con others into playing just so you can advance in the game... Oh, and lets not forget, if you're not logged in at a certian time in some of their games, you miss out on exp. So seriously... f**k Zynga. its all a giant money making scam with pretty graphics. And worst of all... their games are starting to spread onto mobile.

Mussels's game is 100x better than anything Zynga can come up with.


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## qubit (Nov 14, 2011)

The worst game is Battlefield 3. Clearly.

Why? Well, because of MW3, even more clearly. MW3 sold more, _waay_ more, so it therefore has to be better. There is no other reason for people to buy it.

I mean, BF3 has all these gremlins and issues with multiplayer and single player, while MW3 _just works_. If you want to know what that's like, it's very similar to owning one of those superior Apple computers, which _just work_ too.

So there you have it: BF3 shit, MW3 awesome. 

Oh and I haven't played BF3. I just know.


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## ChristTheGreat (Nov 14, 2011)

The worst game I ever played on PC, is Doom 3.

For a 2004 game, it wasn't bad Graphical, but there was a few things I didn't like. Seriously, come on, you are in 2145, you can go on other planet, like Mars where you are, but you can't take your dumb flashlight with any gun? You didn't thought to put it on your gun, on your head or mouth? or use damn tape to put in somewhere lol... Anyone in the army, I am sure when they are in dark place, they have a flashlight that they can use on their gun.

Most of the time in the game, you open a door, and wow Scary monster.. After you open a door, woaaa Scary monster.

Far Cry and Half-life 2 were WAYYYY better...

There might be game that could be worst than this one, but it is the one I played that is the worst.


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## Irony (Nov 14, 2011)

qubit said:


> it's very similar to owning one of those superior Apple computers, which just work too.



You should be banned for that, you worshipper of Steve jobs. :shadedshu


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## Solaris17 (Nov 15, 2011)

waiting for the answer is MURDER I want this game! I have to play it on other peoples PC's


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## Marineborn (Nov 15, 2011)

qubit said:


> The worst game is Battlefield 3. Clearly.
> 
> Why? Well, because of MW3, even more clearly. MW3 sold more, _waay_ more, so it therefore has to be better. There is no other reason for people to buy it.
> 
> ...



that made me smile, thats extremly strong sarcasm threw text, most impressive


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## qubit (Nov 15, 2011)

Marineborn said:


> that made me smile, thats extremly strong sarcasm threw text, most impressive



No! No! No! I really meant it! 

Thanks dude.


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## yogurt_21 (Nov 15, 2011)

Solaris17 said:


> waiting for the answer is MURDER I want this game! I have to play it on other peoples PC's



if you're doing it that way just setup an rdp protocol on someone's machine that has and can run the game then wait for them to go to work. Sounds fool proof to me. lol


4 more days, not many new entries, wonder is most people bought the game already?


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## Wrigleyvillain (Nov 15, 2011)

Marineborn said:


> that made me smile, thats extremly strong sarcasm threw text, most impressive



Yeah...he had me until the tired and cheap shot dig at Macs.

Want a fucking news flash? Apple computers _do_ just work. I won't speak of iOS (as a walled garden had better "work"). I'm not even comparing them to Windows at all when I say that, for the record. Take it from someone who makes his damn living supporting them (and knows his way around a PC too obviously) and has for a long time.

You know, Qubit, more than anything I just wish you were acted little more professional in your new "position".


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## crazyeyesreaper (Nov 15, 2011)

yea i bought the game but if i win i would gift it to a friend so he can enjoy it as well,


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## qubit (Nov 15, 2011)

Wrigleyvillain said:


> Yeah...he had me until the tired and cheap shot dig at Macs.
> 
> Want a fucking news flash? Apple computers _do_ just work. I won't speak of iOS (as a walled garden had better "work"). I'm not even comparing them to Windows at all when I say that, for the record. Take it from someone who makes his damn living supporting them (and knows his way around a PC too obviously) and has for a long time.
> 
> You know, Qubit, more than anything I just wish you were acted little more professional in your new "position".



I was doing satire my man, as marineborn figured out - it wasn't supposed to be a "realistic" comparison, but properly over the top ridiculousness to make my readers laugh, as per the competition rules. 

It looks like my "cheap shot" at Macs really hit the spot. 

Now come on, let's see you trash a game and win this competition!


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## Sihastru (Nov 17, 2011)

Worst game I ever played: MW3.
Rant: M'eh.


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## MasterCormic (Nov 17, 2011)

*Rage-Bethesda Softworks*

Rage, what kind of impression does it leave on me? *PURE RAGE*. Wow, just to play it, well, with playable visuals you would need to constantly scour the internet for graphics drivers fixes and small tweaks which could take hours if not days to perfect, and after all that it doesnt even run how it should, LAG LAG LAG, even those guys with GTX 580s. So much hype, "OMG wow a new fallout-like game, BUY BUY BUY" but then BaMMM!, it smacks you in the face with a console ported piece of crap. Well, that's all I gotta say.

Good luck! to everyone that entered.

Steam: mastercormic


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## Kreij (Nov 18, 2011)

Just a reminder that tomorrow is the last day to enter this contest for anyone who would like to do so.


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## qubit (Nov 18, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Just a reminder that tomorrow is the last day to enter this contest for anyone who would like to do so.



Thankyou, I've been meaning to incoherently trash another game and cruise to an easy victory.


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## theubersmurf (Nov 18, 2011)

The day draws near...while we greedily await his judgement. Dammit.


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## Deleted member 24505 (Nov 18, 2011)

The worst game is, does this cloth smell of chloroform, it dont make them unconscious fast enough........Oh its pc games.....This is nothing disregard it.

My worst game on the pc is Doom3, 

Its like they knew all you can see is a little white circle of light from the torch, so they knew it would be easier to run because of that. You run around and you cant see feck all, i understand they wanted it dark but that was just a bit over the top.


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## damric (Nov 18, 2011)

*Everquest*

The original Everquest. My fellow employees and my best friend were raving about this game and how addicting it was, so I went over to his house to try it out. I remember the god-awful blocky avatars and other crap graphics. I went outside town to find some rats or something to kill but I never made it because I was bored of this game after 10 minutes, 5 of which was making my character. From that point on, I could never stomach myself to play another fantasy MMORPG, because to me they all look like copies of that original stupid Everquest game. Thanks EQ, you ruined it.


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## Cold Storm (Nov 18, 2011)

All right, I might get some flack over this.

Crysis

I went and bought the game over the huge hype that is "super powered suit", that gives you the power of a super human. Due to that, I became one of the mass lambs... Buying over the gimmick that this game was going to be great.. What I failed to see, due to the masses prizing it, was that it's only fun at the start.. Why? You get all the powers at the start, then you lose it.. Yes, it gives you a story. It gives you reason to play. But, to some, like myself, it gives you reason to not play anymore.. Why didn't I want to play anymore once this terrible thing happened, and "things" came down to tear this world apart? 

To me, the start just gives me the only reason to play the game. You got all the powers, you got everything to just mess around. 45m to play, and I'm good to go.. Running real fast, jumping over things and destroying it by the fall.. What more do you want? Shooting? It's got it. Even camo that allows that sneak up and one hit wonders.. To me, it gave me no reason to play it when the "sh1t hit the fan" and you lose it all.. 

It was the worst game I ever played due to the factor I spent so much on it and just wanted to play 45m of it.. I didn't want to do anymore and now, it's stilling in a drawer that I'll never want to open again.


Oh, and did I mention... It's the worst meme that came from gaming.. "can Crysis play it?" It makes me report the post over and over again.. TPU should have a 2d ban for anyone that says that when a video card comes out.. IMHO


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## Komania (Nov 18, 2011)

*You're winner!*

The worst PC game I have ever played? Well that's an easy one.

The absolute worst game I have ever played, on any console, was Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. It can't have been that bad can it? Yes, it could. A team of monkeys could have made a game more playable than this. I swear the Russian developers Stellar Stone carefully engineered this game in the Cold War as a secret weapon of mass destruction to incapacitate America's youth, rendering them completely insane. I was lucky, I was discovered three weeks later in fetal position rolling in my own urine after playing this "game" for a mere 20 minutes. This isn't just a game, it's am embodiment of pure evil.

So why is this game so bad? Well to call it a game is a stretch. On the box it shows colorful picture of a truck, obviously being possessed by some kind of speed demon, speeding away from a cop attempting to body slam the truck. AWESOME! Oh wait, it would be, if the box wasn't a steaming pile of LIES. So let's delve into the actual gameplay. Upon starting up the game you are greeted by a menu and some music, which sounds like Donald Duck having some kind of seizure listening to techno music. Go to map selection, and pick one of the five maps. Oh wait, only four maps. the fifth one apparent blows up your computer. I wish that I was fortunate enough to have clicked that map the first time... it would have saved me from the lasting mental scars this game gave me. 

Now onto the actual gameplay! You start out in your shoddy truck, next to another shoddy truck. The countdown begins, as apparently there's some kind of race going on. Adrenaline pumps and you are set to GO! ...and nothing happens. You can move forward all you want, but the developers were too busy laughing at this terrible game they were about to release that they forgot to include any kind of AI. Oh that's OK though, because like many popular games of our time, they released a patch shortly after release to fix this issue. Oh goodie! Now the AI truck actually moves... at about the speed of a cucumber. Yup, after a mere half an hour the truck finally will arrive at the finish line! ...and stop... That's right, you CAN'T POSSIBLY LOSE THIS GAME! But it's not all that bad, because apparently the Soviet developers implemented one of the most advanced physics engines I've seen in a game. If you drive into a house, a tree, or whatever other lazy prop they included, your truck will completely dematerialize and pass through the object. That's right, if there's a bridge in front of you, you will go under the bridge. Which makes me wonder why they didn't name the game Big Rigs: Under The Bridge Racing! So now your state-of-the-art, dematerializing truck, can also go explore the incredibly vast game world *eye roll*. You see, the world is surrounded by mountains. But like I said, this truck is of high-tech Soviet design, so it can easily tackle the 90 degree slopes of these mountains. On the other side is THE VOID! A place so bleak it makes you lose all hope in Humanity; assuming you haven't lost it by playing this game yet. Actually, I'm getting tired of calling it a game, let's instead call it a "Soviet torture device". And though the developers put in a speed cap on your truck, they apparently forgot to put one in reverse. By holding down the reverse key your truck will go infinite speeds in reverse. Once again, these unbelievably innovative developers decided to include a truck that can not only break the sound barrier, but also makes interstellar travel possible.... in reverse. From experience in the transportation industry, I know how much of a concern it is to drivers to have their trucks going reverse at light speed whilst glitching through the floor, and plummeting into the gray abyss of the void. No problem! All you have to do is let go of the reverse key, and there you are, you just instantly stopped. This is revolutionary! Think of all the disasters which could have been averted if an 18 wheeler could stop on a dime! We were doing it wrong all these years! We have to drive _in reverse_. 

So if your brain isn't already dripping out of your ears from reading this, not to worry! Remember how I said you couldn't lose no matter what? Well once you're done your interplanetary travel in reverse, you can cross the finish line! Once you cross the finish line, you receive the greatest honor known to man. It's a trophy, with YOU'RE WINNER written underneath. Well that's nice, maybe that somewhat negates the agonizing pain in my spleen this game caused to me. But let's give it to the devs, not only did they revolutionize physics, but also the English language! I never knew, to this point, that WINNER was an adjective... This changes everything! Better get Charlie Sheen on the phone.

_Bob: Hey Greg
Greg: Hey Bob, sure is a WINNER day today.
Bob: Indeed it is Greg, a WINNER day indeed._

But this game really wants to boost your confidence, as sometimes the trophy screen will appear without you doing anything... at all. I'm fairly certain that YOU'RE WINNER is now permanently engraved into my brain, and is probably manifesting into some kind of tumor by this point. 

I'm not even going to go into graphics or sound in detail. The graphics looks significantly worse than my pre-kindergarten nephew's finger-painting. Heck, the smiley face I made in the dust on my desk is the Mona Lisa compared to the graphics in this game. Everything looks like a color, it's almost as if I took my glasses off and designed a game map based off of the colors I saw... and not in an artsy indie-game sense. I'm almost having a seizure just thinking of the colorful train-wreck that this game is. And for sound... what sound? All there is in the whole game is the aforementioned song, though what I said about it was an understatement about how bad it actually is. It sounds as though a little kid was whacking his face on a keyboard which produces sounds similar to Donald Duck on helium, possibly while engaging in some kind of not-safe-for-work activity. Now take that, but it onto a techno beat which is so repetitive it turns you into a mindless dancing, drink-buying husk. Basically a club beat, developed by a DJ with a full 3 and a quarter days experience producing music. Now, take those two weapons of inner ear destruction, put them together, and _loop them_... forever. The music is what plays in the background in Hell while you're spending eternity raking leaves of fire, or whatever you do in Hell. All I can assure you, is that the music is definitely the worst part of it... unless of course you were forced to play this game for the rest of eternity, but even Satan isn't that cruel. Only Chuck Norris, or God himself could endure this for more than half a second before bludgeoning your speakers to death. I mean, it's only a matter of time until your natural self-preservation instinct kicks in. And when it does, there is little you can do to stop yourself from smashing your computer with a hammer until it no longer exists. 

So how bad is this game? Well let's just say that being hot glued to a Xylophone sounds like a more entertaining way to spend my time. I would rather be hung up as a human Pinata then play this Soviet torture device. I would rather play E.T. for the rest of eternity, than this. When I die the only thing I'll regret is the short time I had the misfortune to play this. This does not belong near my computer, it belongs in a toilet. I still cry myself to sleep every night while the image of YOU'RE WINNER flashes around in my brain.

And that is why this is the worst Soviet torture device.... erm "game" I have ever played.

tl;dr This emoticon pretty much sums it up 

Steam name: Komaniax


EDIT: I'm aware that people have posted the same game as myself, but I hate this game with a passion. And besides, everybody offers their own opinions on it


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## Ryfte (Nov 18, 2011)

*The worst game ever...*

Well... just 1? Big Rigs has been pretty much pulverized and lies still as a pile of dust.

I will take a step away and select two games and one which I simply cannot remember the name of as well.

1. It was a great game. Shiny, pretty, played well, tons of support, three very good quality enhancements. It was Neverwinter Nights and I played it for numerous hours on end with different builds and characters. Solo play going through the campaign rocked hard and the online persistent worlds opened up a huge number of additional worlds to explore. Some were great while some weren't but they allowed for custom worlds running that anyone could log into.

Then the second one was announced. The sequel if you will and not simply another expansion. It had been years and the fans looked forward to it quite eagerly. Then it arrived... and no one quite knew what to think. Was it good or not? It was prettier of course, shinier, with brand new art decorating it that was cutting edge. But gone was the large scenario with an expansive world you could move through. Running your own world was riddled with bugs. The program itself was riddled with bugs and had a major memory leak that was so inundated throughout the code that it took nearly two years to be fixed... by a fan. Was it playable, some believe so, but what was it that truly made it quite possibly the worst? It was the level of difference between the two of them. The franchise which was a golden goose had literally been cooked and eaten and the rotting carcass was all that remained. So, in one fell swoop it dashed the hopes and dreams of millions leaving the majority of the players simply stunned. 

2. This leads me to thoughts of a game you can find on the internet today. Its by a small company that hopefully no one will recognize; Anvil Soft. They are indeed a minor company with a mere two games to their credit, both proudly displayed and sold on their site. The first, a sort of blaster-shooter game revolving around... vegetables. This then leads to the title I speak of actually, perhaps fitting as after consumption of a pile of vegetables you will need to use this. They actually have a game of the sanitary sciences of the porcelain throne and thus I announce; Toilet Tycoon. A game in which you get to perform your sanitation duties for a set of stalls in a bathroom. It's not so much that its a bad game, simply the fact that all you're doing in the game is dealing with... well... you know! 

And finally to the last...

3. It was a good two or more decades ago, perhaps three. It was a game titled battle something... or armada something and it had some numbers in the title. The thing about it was that it was released only half completed. It quite literally did not have the ending included in it! It was missing entire sections of functionality as the developers had completely over-reached their funding, release schedule, and capabilities. Does anyone remember, based on that sketchy information, what the name of said game is? I burned it from my mind in utter disgust.

Final Disclaimer: Big Rigs is without a doubt a travesty from beginning to end. No one would question that fact. However, when looking at it you have no question that it is in fact a piece of crap even before it is installed. There's no real surprise that it is simply horrible. You know what you're getting before you do in fact choose the self torture which Big Rigs actually is. This is definitely NOT a case of "pimp my ride!"


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## Komania (Nov 18, 2011)

I didn't know what I was getting into. I thought I was gonna be smuggling illegal cargo across the nation, while fleeing from cops with 18 wheels of thunder. I was wrong.

And you should have continued to destroy Big Rigs. For without a doubt, it will once again manifest and reconstruct itself, and resume it's torture of innocents. We must trample it until it is dust, then we must light the dust on fire, then vacuum up the ash, then blow up the vacuum with C4, then poor lava over the remains, and encase the whole thing in concrete if we are to stand a chance against the evil that is Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.


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## stinger608 (Nov 18, 2011)

Not joining this, however I sure hope that everyone has good luck!!! Ole uncle Kreij is awesome, and who ever wins will sure deserve it for sure!!!


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## TheRagnarok (Nov 19, 2011)

The "worst PC game I've ever played" is a title befitting many, if not a majority of Value, Indie, w/e genres. I felt stuck at first on this topic/contest. Being so I just browsed my trusty steam games list, and low and behold there it was! Dog Fighter was the worst 88 minutes of my life. It was a game right up my alley, only $5 and it had the warplanes (I.E. Red Baron, WWI era planes)! But.... as I jumped in I soon realized that this was nothing more than a PvP mash-up of planes that flew like iron bathtubs with engines attached. It felt clunky (I even tried it with a controller) and just too arcadey for me to bare any longer than mentally necessary. And most of the players were just vets or maybe I just suck that bad? Seriously, they would just hover up real high in the map and just pew pew you while you were engaging somebody down below. Also, the little caves you could fly under were cool and all...but my "moves" just ended with me getting plowed into a wall by a more "experienced" player. I was piggy-backed into the ground more than any mortal should bare.... So, that makes this game by far the worst in my book, I wanted to love it but now it just lives in my steam games list along with Altitude.

And good luck to all of the other entrants! You guys made me laugh (in a good way)!


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

I just wanted to take the time to thank everybody who entered this competition for the great laugh it gave me. Honestly, you guys are hilarious. Whoever wins the priiiiiize definatly deserves it


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## theubersmurf (Nov 19, 2011)

Today's the day, fingers crossed.


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

*This contest is now closed. *
Thanks to all who entered. The winner will be announced as soon as I get a chance to re-read and assess all of the entries.


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

Drumroll .... AND THE WINNER IS .... votes still coming in from judges.
This was just a teaser post. lol


----------



## qubit (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Drumroll .... AND THE WINNER IS .... votes still coming in from judges.
> This was just a teaser post. lol



Love it.  I soo wanna know who. I'll bet it's me! me! me!


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## theJesus (Nov 19, 2011)

Just wanna say that it would be hilarious if somebody had come in here and made a rant about Skyrim being the worst game they ever played.  Of course, they'd be lying unless it was the only PC game they've played.


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

LOL ... you guys are great, and thanks for participating in my wierd contests.
I have a new contest ready to start right after this one ends that will give you constipation for a month trying to win it.


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

Hey Kreij, have I ever mentioned how unbelievably awesome of a person you are to give away Skyrim 

And no, that wasn't me buttering him up, I was being honest


----------



## qubit (Nov 19, 2011)

theJesus said:


> Just wanna say that it would be hilarious if somebody had come in here and made a rant about Skyrim being the worst game they ever played.  Of course, they'd be lying unless it was the only PC game they've played.



Ah, damn! I hadn't thought of that. I could have made a superb entry based on this. 



Komania said:


> Hey Kreij, have I ever mentioned how unbelievably awesome of a person you are to give away Skyrim
> 
> And no, that wasn't me buttering him up, I was being honest



Yeah, +1. Kreij is easily one of the best members on here. 

Right, I've _definitely_ won the competition now, or I'm taking it all back, lol.


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

Bah ... The members on TPU are the best, most helpful people I've ever met on the internet.
They are biased, judgemental, trolling asshats who toss that to the side when someone really needs help, and they are always there when you need them.
I just want to give something back to the community of worthless bastards who make dealing with computer problems a lot less frustrating and who always pitch in when someone has a problem with either software or hardware.

I said that in the kindest way possible, and that's why I am proud to call TPU "home".


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## Damn_Smooth (Nov 19, 2011)

Thanks for holding this contest Kreij. I didn't enter, but it was fun to read. This really is the best community there is. Congrats to whoever walks away with this.


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

qubit said:


> Right, I've _definitely_ won the competition now, or I'm taking it all back, lol.



Lol xD


Just wanted to say, I have been on TPU before, thought people were funny and whatnot, but really had no incentive to join... that is, until this contest. So hey, win or lose, at least I discovered TPU. People here seem to be very entertaining, so I think imma stick around for a while


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## qubit (Nov 19, 2011)

Komania said:


> Lol xD
> 
> 
> Just wanted to say, I have been on TPU before, thought people were funny and whatnot, but really had no incentive to join... that is, until this contest. So hey, win or lose, at least I discovered TPU. People here seem to be very entertaining, *so I think imma stick around for a while*



Sure, enjoy being part of the best forum on the internet.  It's addictive, let me tell you. A little _too_ addictive sometimes...


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

@Komania : Put your computer specs in using the UserCP or we will beat you mercilessly for the rest of your life. 

The new contest should peak everone's interest and motivate them to participate.
I always have contests where people have to do a little work to make them fun.


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> @Komania : Put your computer specs in using the UserCP or we will beat you mercilessly for the rest of your life.
> 
> The new contest should peak everone's interest and motivate them to participate.
> I always have contests where people have to do a little work to make them fun.



Lol, will do

EDIT: Sorry, how exactly does one go about doing this again?
EDIT x2: NVM found it


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## theJesus (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> The new contest should *peak* *everone's* interest and motivate them to participate.
> I always have contests where people have to do a little work to make them fun.


A spelling/grammar contest might *pique* *everyone's* interest.


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

theJesus said:


> A spelling/grammar contest might *pique* *everyone's* interest.



It both piques and peaks my interest :3


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## Deleted member 24505 (Nov 19, 2011)

theJesus said:


> A spelling/grammar contest might *pique* *everyone's* interest.



Yeah, we need too teach everyone the correct use of there, their, and they're. i am dying to correct every time i see these misused but i would just get someones foot in my ass if i do.


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## Damn_Smooth (Nov 19, 2011)

tigger said:


> Yeah, we need too teach everyone the correct use of there, their, and they're. i am dying to correct every time i see these misused but i would just get someones foot in my ass if i do.



It gets me when someone doesn't capitalize their i's.


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

While I appreciate the grammar and spelling lessons, remember who has the banstick. 

Results soon, judging responses incoming.


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## Deleted member 24505 (Nov 19, 2011)

Damn_Smooth said:


> It gets me when someone doesn't capitalize their i's.



I is used quite a lot though, so capitalizing it would be a pita, so i don't usually bother.


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## stinger608 (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Bah ... The members on TPU are the best, most helpful people I've ever met on the internet.
> They are biased, judgemental, trolling asshats who toss that to the side when someone really needs help, and they are always there when you need them.
> I just want to give something back to the community of worthless bastards who make dealing with computer problems a lot less frustrating and who always pitch in when someone has a problem with either software or hardware.
> 
> I said that in the kindest way possible, and that's why I am proud to call TPU "home".



Just could not say this better!!!!!! TPU is the win


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## theJesus (Nov 19, 2011)

tigger said:


> I is used quite a lot though, so capitalizing it would be a pita, so i don't usually bother.


punctuation is used a lot so putting commas periods apostrophes etc would be a pita so i dont bother correting any typso i make in ym spelilng would be a ipta so wh y bothre hellwhyevenbotherwithspacesimeanthosegetusedalotandmythumbgetsprettytiredafterawhilesowhocares


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> While I appreciate the grammar and spelling lessons, remember who has the banstick.



What, did the top break off the banhammer?

:3 Looking forward to results most gracious one


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## stinger608 (Nov 19, 2011)

Komania said:


> What, did the top break off the banhammer?
> 
> :3 Looking forward to results most gracious one



Jesus, sucking up??????


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

stinger608 said:


> Jesus, sucking up??????



Not really, I was more trying to make up for making fun of his banstick 
Well not "making fun" per se


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## Damn_Smooth (Nov 19, 2011)

Komania said:


> What, did the top break off the banhammer?
> 
> :3 Looking forward to results most gracious one




The hammer only comes out for people too stupid to learn with the stick.


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

Damn_Smooth said:


> The hammer only comes out for people too stupid to learn with the stick.



Well that explains it lol


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

After a lot of reading and re-reading of the post the results are in.
This was not an easy one to decide as there were many good entries, which is why I asked a couple of people for input (they will remain anonymous).

The winner is .... SOLARIS17

His entry was painful to read as his spelling, grammar and punctuation cause me nightmares.
However, he may have entered the first forum post I have ever read that was immersive and pulled me out of TPU and into his own world. 
His analogy about his sister making lasagna was classic.

Thanks to all who entered and as always, I will have more contests soon.

@Solaris : PM me the e-mail you use for your Steam account.


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## Komania (Nov 19, 2011)

Congradulations to Solaris 

This was fun, looking forward to the next one.
Looks like I'll have to find another way to acquire Skyrim though


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## stinger608 (Nov 19, 2011)

A huge congrats to Solaris17!!!!!!!!!! 

Very much well deserved! Awesome choice Kreij!


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## theJesus (Nov 19, 2011)

I just got done reading his entry . . . epic.


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## stinger608 (Nov 19, 2011)

theJesus said:


> I just got done reading his entry . . . epic.



+1!!! That was an epic story Solaris17 told!!!!!! Very well deserved for sure. 

Kreij, you better close this thread........real soon bro LOLOLOL


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## qubit (Nov 19, 2011)

Congrats solaris, that was an awesome post!


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## Solaris17 (Nov 19, 2011)

holy shit! I didnt really think I would win I'm one of those people that just dont win anything ya know? Not to mention reading some of the others got me a little discouraged your use of punctuation and formatting out classes mine. Thank you all so much. and to the rest of the contenders it was a hell of a battle you guys had some amazing rants. Props to all who participated!


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## Black Panther (Nov 19, 2011)

Congrats Solaris!

Say good-bye to your real life now


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

Solaris17 said:


> holy shit! I didnt really think I would win I'm one of those people that just dont win anything ya know? Not to mention reading some of the others got me a little discouraged your use of punctuation and formatting out classes mine. Thank you all so much. and to the rest of the contenders it was a hell of a battle you guys had some amazing rants. Props to all who participated!



Sol, I had to read that post three of four times and each time it was painful because of the grammar and punctuation, but that was not what this contest was about.
I could almost smell the day old cigs and feel the frustration from your post. The funny commnet about your sister's failed lasagna made it personal and I just imagined being there.
Your post was immersive, and I've never seen that before in a forum post.
If you ever decide to learn to write and become an author, I'll buy all your books. You have a very unique way of looking at and describing things.


Prize sent. Let me know if there are any problems with receiving it.


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## stinger608 (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:
			
		

> You post was immersive, and I've never seen that before in a forum post.
> If you ever decide to learn to write and become an author, I'll buy all your books. You have a very unique way of looking at and describing things.



Could not agree more!!! Almost like reading a book......Without proper grammar and punctuation LOL. 

None the less, very awesome post Solaris!!! You really could write books if you had a proof reader man. Just coooooool man.


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## Solaris17 (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Sol, I had to read that post three of four times and each time it was painful because of the grammar and punctuation, but that was not what this contest was about.
> I could almost smell the day old cigs and feel the frustration from your post. The funny commnet about your sister's failed lasagna made it personal and I just imagined being there.
> Your post was immersive, and I've never seen that before in a forum post.
> If you ever decide to learn to write and become an author, I'll buy all your books. You have a very unique way of looking at and describing things.
> ...





stinger608 said:


> Could not agree more!!! Almost like reading a book......Without proper grammar and punctuation LOL.
> 
> None the less, very awesome post Solaris!!! You really could write books if you had a proof reader man. Just coooooool man.



Thanks guys I appreciate it. I just dont know what to say.


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

Besides the other people who I asked for comments on the winner, it seems I was not alone in feeling that Solaris's post was extraordinary for a contest entry here on TPU.

I hereby vow not to beat Solaris with a bratwurst too many times if he comes to Wisconsin to visit.


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## theJesus (Nov 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> I hereby vow not to beat Solaris with a bratwurst too many times if he comes to Wisconsin to visit.


There are so many jokes racing through my mind right now . . .


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## Kreij (Nov 19, 2011)

Next contest (which is going to have an awesome prize) is going to involve writing again (not sure what yet).
Doing a graphic arts kind of contest takes out too many people as a lot of us suck at that, but in my contests I want people to do a little work and have a little fun with it. Writing something seems to be a good method for contests on a forum (remember the "abuse the mods" contest? lol)

Get ready to use your brain a little more than usual.


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## Solaris17 (Nov 19, 2011)

theJesus said:


> There are so many jokes racing through my mind right now . . .


----------



## damric (Nov 20, 2011)

Solaris17 said:


> It was 0137 EST zero hour. I was enjoying a cig or 2, quietly browsing the steam store. While my investigation of the current deals proved fruitful I came across what I thought was a jewel, While my cart was almost completely full brimming with the new binaries I managed to purchase on my mediocre salary I was cheerful and soon to be susceptible to the worst game purchase of my life.
> The game was operation flash-point: Dragon rising. A very cool sounding game. The screenshots spoke of its heavenly demeanor. A beautiful mix between COD BF and the squad play of the tom clancy series. At $4.99 I thought I had stumbled upon the diamond in the ruff. I bought it. As my download completed on the better then usual network speeds im used to I booted it up. Thats when it hit me. The ghost like figures on my screen, the sharp detail the thousands of pixles displaying in ultimate joy the HORRER within. My god what have I done? the tearing was improbable the texture maps looked like my sisters failed attempts at a decent lasagna.
> It was a sham I had been had. I tried for hours is my quiet room the sound of typing and the slow burn of a somewhat decent cigg in my mouth only ruined by the taste of stale air in my mouth as I held my breath waiting, no pining for the configuration changes to apply. The screen when dark the echos of a 256bit audio stream making my speakers scream with a loop only nascar could love. The PC had frozen. Frantically I rebooted slamming my finger on the delete key hoping it was me, hoping I had killed the beast, maybe I missed something some minute detail a mhz here a mV there. It was all stability. Foolishly like a coke whore I was convinced it would all be fine in the end.
> My god how foolish. For the next 2 hours the game bucked and rolled no driver on the planet could calm the monster and no amount of ciggs could change the way I felt. Then it happened. I was in. My prayers answered and my memory void of all the other games I purchased. I was high on the feeling of calming the beast. I played and I played hard. Something was nipping at my though something deep within. I had finally found it. It was all around me. 2d bitmaps. The bushes were lack luster. The mouse acceleration was all fucked up.
> ...



I had to go back and re-read this. Very awesome story, and made me lol.


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## Solaris17 (Nov 20, 2011)

Solaris17 said:


> snip



It was 0137 EST zero hour.I was enjoying a cig or 2, quietly browsing the steam store. While my investigation of the current deals proved fruitful I came across what I thought was a jewel. While my cart was almost completely full brimming with the new binaries I had managed to purchase on my mediocre salary I was cheerful and soon to be susceptible to the worst game purchase of my life.

     The game was operation flash-point: Dragon rising. A very cool sounding game. The screenshots spoke of its heavenly demeanor. A beautiful mix between COD, BF and the squad play of the tom clancy series. At $4.99 I thought I had stumbled upon the diamond in the ruff. I bought it. As my download completed on the better then usual network speeds im used to I booted it up. 

That's when it hit me. The ghost like figures on my screen, sharp detail of the thousands of pixles displaying in ultimate joy the HORRER within. My god; what have I done? The tearing was improbable the texture maps looked like my sisters failed attempts at a decent lasagna.
It was a sham, I had been had. I tried for hours in my quiet room the sound of typing and the slow burn of a somewhat decent cig in my mouth, only ruined by the taste of stale air as I held my breath waiting, no pining for the configuration changes to apply. 

The screen went dark. The echos of a 24bit audio stream making my speakers scream with a loop only nascar could love. The PC had frozen. Frantically I rebooted slamming my finger on the delete key hoping it was me, hoping I had killed the beast, maybe I missed something some minute detail a mhz here a mV there. It was all stability. Foolishly like a coke whore I was convinced it would all be fine in the end.

     My god how idiocy. For the next 2 hours the game bucked and rolled no driver on the planet could calm the monster and no amount of ciggs could change the way I felt. Then it happened. I was in. My prayers answered and my memory void of all the other games I had purchased. I was high. High on the feeling of calming the beast. I played and I played hard. Something was nipping at my though, something deep within. I had finally found it. It was all around me. 2d bitmaps. The bushes were lack luster. The mouse acceleration was all fucked up. My squad mates were about as intelligent as the rock that bullets could go through. 

I was being shot. No support the map was fubar. Jesus reloading took to long, For a second I was almost certain I was using a hawking. I was dying fast my god help, I saw one of the squad get shot in the knee a killer blow for sure. Except that it actually killed him. This was madness. I ran up to the house took down one or two men, I cant remember its all hazy. My mouse hand clenched around my mouse like a girl protects her virginity. Then I was inside. I miraculously walked through a wall. The hesitation was killer, I was shot given my depth perception and the tracer round which I knew I disabled Id say it went through my neck.

     I spawned, The second time wasn't much better level 1, map 1, area 1 a bloodbath till the very end. Not one to give up I raced, I strategically Placed, I had more suppressive fire then the seals, but I might as well have been a beached wale I was pinned. The best I could muster was staying alive. I went for it. I made the men push. I ran around taking the flank. My heart racing the grass crunching beneath my feet. I got them all, Except the twins in the small shack. Frag out. One ran the other didn't notice the impending doom. 

     Target acquired. I ran after the other. Blind fire has a better name. "Shooting with eyes closed." I was so close, I sprayed bullets ahead of me. I got down to about 4. I stopped he swings around I take to the red dot to guide me straight and true. He shoots.. I'm hit I strafe left blood on the screen but im still moving, my legs working on sheer will. I steady and take aim. I got him upper chest 2" below the neck. 10ft out ill make the shot and he will drop like a comet. The bullets whizzing by I breath in this is it. Ban ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.

     Audio loop the game crashed. I never figured out what happened that day. Everything else worked fine. The benchmarks the games the music. I never went back though. its just one of those memories. the ones you cant talk about the ones you hope you'll never remember.

Here I fixed it for you.


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## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

Did you get the game okay Sol?


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## Cold Storm (Nov 20, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Did you get the game okay Sol?



Yep, he got the game.. lol.. My "friends wish list" went from 2 people, to 1.. 


I think as of 3am est he had only 2h in... He's slacking for the effort he gave in the essay...


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## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

Thanks CS. I figured if he didn't respond for a month I would have my answer.


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## Irony (Nov 20, 2011)

Congrats solaris, I you actually got me to read the whole thing. I usually dont read entire posts if theyre over 8-10 words long, but I read it and it was great.


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## Komania (Nov 20, 2011)

Solaris17 said:


> ...sharp detail of the thousands of pixels displaying in ultimate joy the HORRER within.



Just throwing that out there, it's spelled HORROR 

Not important really, just one of those things that bothers me 


And yeah, we wont be hearing from Solaris for another 2-3 months. If Skyrim is anything like Morrowind and Oblivion, it's like an addiction.


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## Cold Storm (Nov 20, 2011)

Komania said:


> Just throwing that out there, it's spelled HORROR
> 
> Not important really, just one of those things that bothers me
> 
> ...





It's sol... If the stupid words weren't spelled wrong, then we know it was someone else hacking his account.. lol


Even though, if you google the word, it does show it to be the "elite" way of spelling horror...


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## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

There were so many great entries I had to call upon a couple of other people to help me judge.
I am really impressed by the effort people put in, and I am really looking forward to seeing the entries in the next contest.
Look for it around December 1st, and it will be about a 2 week duration so I can get the prize to the winner as a Christmas present. 

(I may put it up sooner to give people more time, I am still working out the details)


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## Solaris17 (Nov 20, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Did you get the game okay Sol?



yes sir


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## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

Great. Thanks Sol.

I'll leave this thread open if anyone wants to rant about crappy games they can.
If not it will fade into obscurity.

Again ... thank you everyone who entered. You all make having contests on TPU a pleasure.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Classic Thread Necro!  


*TPU Kreij MEMORIAL COMPETITION*


*




*


As many of you will know, back in June last year we lost our good friend and Senior Moderator Dean Kortenhoven, better known to us as Kreij to Cancer.  For those of you that knew Kreij you will know that not only was he a leading light within this community but he was one damn fine human being.  TPU, his family and anyone who knew him well are the poorer without him.

Kreij is remembered throughout our community in many ways, none more prominent than our Memorial build giveaways that not only support current members with the opportunity to win good quality hardware/systems (giveaway builds are geared to be able to game/crunch/fold well)but just as importantly to add more machines to the constant war against this ugly and hateful disease, for that we have our crunching/folding friends to thank for these memorial builds as well as our outstanding TPU forum community, assisted by our good friend Norton.  Kreij himself was one of the first members here to generously run giveaways as a thank you to this great community.

One or two of us thought it would be a good idea to complement the existing memorials with something a little different (*Sneeky should take the credit for this idea*) in the form of a competition but with a little twist.  You see during his illness and treatment Kreij started writing a short story, he wanted distraction from what he was going through and by his very nature he was creative.  Sadly he didn't get to quite finish the story and that’s where the competition comes in.  Below you will see the said uncompleted short story, have a read, a smile and then help Kreij to complete it with as natural a follow on storyline ending as possible, you have just 300 - 500 words to do it in, that’s no less than 300 and no more than 500 so in effect between half and a full page of text.  *The competition is open to members who joined TPU on or before 1st October 2015 and have contributed a minimum of 50 posts as of 30th November 2015*.  We would ask you once completed to post back in this thread with a simple *"I am in" *and attach your entry to the post as a Rich Text Format (RTF) document to aid compatibility.  You will need to zip the RTF file to attach it to your post, there are a number of free programmes that will do this, WinZip is but one.

OK, so what’s the prize?  Well thanks to the support of *Mark, our XFX Rep* and the generosity of his company, XFX have kindly donated a XFX R7 370 4GB DD xxx OC graphics card, specs can be seen here…..

http://xfxforce.com/en-us/products/amd-radeon-r7-300-series/amd-radeon-r7-370-4gb-double-dissipation-r7-370p-f24m



*The closing date for the competition is Wednesday 16th December @ 2359 hours UK GMT*.  We would hope to have decided on a winner by Christmas Eve at the latest, obviously that will depend on the amount of entries.  There will be 3 judges, 2 from the community and our XFX Rep (Mark).  The winner will have their prize shipped directly to them by XFX.

OK, now on to the story so far........................................


_In the technology world, we know that there are a plethora of devices, drivers, applications and utilities. We have all seen and read the reviews from an almost endless selection of websites, print media and social media to get the latest and greatest information on the tech scene. The availability of having all of these resources is great for us consumers, but does anyone really stop to consider the depth of depravity that the reviewers must immerse themselves into to get you the real story?

The following is an inside look into what the real world of hardware reviewing is like. The names have been changed to protect those who are willing to step forward and reveal the sordid, uncompromising and unforgiving nature of what really goes on behind reviews. I will refer to my contact as “Chad”. I could refer to him as "TheGuyWhoAgreedToGiveMeAnInsideLookAtHardwareReviewing", but that would be stupid from almost every standpoint imaginable, so let's just go with "Chad".

The following information is not for the faint of heart or PETA members, you have been warned.

It was 3AM on a Friday morning when I received a text message on my phone that stated, "Now or never". I threw on some clothes, downed a cold cup of coffee that had been sitting in the pot from the night before and headed out to meet with my contact. It was a dark and stormy night, but I was not going to let that stop me from getting the real story to my readers.

I arrived at the agreed location. It was a typical home in a suburban area and the only indication that I was in the right place was a guy standing in the opened garage waving me in. The fact that he was brandish a Benelli M4 semi-automatic, tactical shotgun was of no concern as most of the hardware reviewers I know do that for NDA reasons.

Chad ushered me into the house and to a door that looked to be the entrance to his basement. The door was secured by four deadbolt locks, a magnetic card reader, a voice activated retina scanner and one of those little hook and ring latch thingies. It was obvious that security was of utmost importance. It could be that it was all unnecessary, and being a geek he just liked using high tech hardware, but I didn’t mention it as he was still wielding the shotgun.

When we entered the basement proper I was pleasantly surprised. What I expected to be a dank, dark room smelling of old gym socks and molding Doritoes, was actually an area that one could almost describe as hospital clean. There were tables with hardware set up on them and cameras on tripods nearby. Neatly lined on shelves were extra parts, tools and additional video equipment. I was impressed.

I turned to Chad and mentioned that this all looked pretty normal for what one would expect when reviewing hardware devices. Why all the precautions and secrecy?

Pointing over to one corner of the basement, Chad said, “Let me show you something.” The corner was dark, but as we got closer I could see some sort of makeshift doorway. It looked like a few 2x4s nailed together with some plastic wrap stretched over it. Chad asked me to step to the side and reached down and turned on a little switch at the bottom of the doorway. What happened next is somewhat difficult to describe as I think I was screaming the whole time.

The plastic wrap began to glow in fluorescent colors and after several seconds deflated into a space that could not be seen and began emitting a noise that can only be described as the wailing of tormented souls from Hell all trying to sing a speeded up version of achy breaky heart. Chad grabbed my sleeve and yelled, “Let’s go.” 

“Let’s go where?”, I screamed over the cacophony of noise.

“To where we get cheap parts.”, yelled Chad, “It’s just a minute away.”

Looking at the nightmarish doorway that had opened I screamed, “What if something goes wrong?”

“Don’t worry”, He said, “We’re backed up in the cloud on my Steam account.”

*That, dear readers, is where I must stop and rest for a few moments. What came next will not only stun your sense, but give you a completely different outlook on the perils of hardware reviewing.*
_
Now over to you creative lot and good luck!


----------



## RCoon (Dec 1, 2015)

*NOT IN*, I'd just like to stretch my creativity fingers for once, instead of spending hours editing past work. It also has an amusing cliffhanger that caused me to get in trouble with the internet.

*By the way @Tatty_One, .rtf isn't supported as an attachment*

attached as a zip RTF

My body was torn asunder. As I looked over with what little pieces were left of me, Chad stood there unwavering. I watched him fall to pieces, realising I was watching the same process happening to my own body at this moment. It was the stuff of neon dreams, but in reality, felt like a stark contrast. Despite staring at the seemingly destructive unending process, the whole thing was over within a matter of milliseconds. Our bodies and minds were ripped from existence, our souls shaken within an inch of death, and then we were there. Wherever _there_ was.

I turned to Chad “Where the hell have you taken us?”

“How do you think reviewers get their samples Dean? You think the top ranking sites just ask for them?” Chad almost demanded a reply, gripping the shotgun so tight you could see his knuckles turning white. “No. Not for the flagship stuff. The flagship stuff brings in more traffic than you could possibly imagine, but nobody gets that kinda hardware through reasonable means.”

I looked around briefly. Bizarrely we had arrived (or was it landed?) in a small dark office with nothing but emergency lightning to light the room. The place had obviously shut up shop for the night, and all that would be left was the Graveyard Shift. I glanced across the room, a large executive mahogany desk with a computer lay at the far end near a titanic window. A couple of filing cabinets littered the far side wall, decorated with what looked like the most expensive wallpaper you’d ever seen. As I looked at the door I noticed a name placard. On it I read “Raja Koduri”. We were in the goddamn AMD graphics engineering building.

Suddenly Chad’s cool concise demeanour was shed, and the desperation took its place bringing sweat to his brow. In all the commotion I hadn’t noticed the sack Chad had slung across his back, everything had happened so quickly. Before I knew it he dropped it with a great metal _thunk_ as it hit the ground. Out of it he presented a Steyr Aug, and two small chest packs rammed with ammunition. Written across one of the in large bold white letters was the word “PRESS”. He threw the Aug at me – surprise reaction kicked in and I caught it despite my absolute protest.

“The hell is wrong with you?” I shouted, “I’m not here to score hardware for you.” I threw the gun to the ground. I hadn’t come here to rob a hardware company blind, much less shoot up the place. I was no Sundance Kid, I came to Chad to write.

“What are we doing here Chad? What are you not telling me?”

Chad turned, pulling the final strap on his vest. In a stern tone he muttered his intent.

“You’re going to help me steal the Flagship piece. I’m going to review the R10 Zeus.”


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 1, 2015)

I like that, lets hope you don't get 25 copy versions!  will amend contest to get them to zip a RTF file, that will work and WinZip evaluation copy can be had for free.


----------



## Mussels (Dec 1, 2015)

wasnt this a really old thread that got bumped by spambots?

edit: hah, competition! lurking everywhere has benefits for me!


----------



## RCoon (Dec 1, 2015)

If anybody needs some proofreading done, feel free to PM/email me.


----------



## Ahhzz (Dec 1, 2015)

I'm in, just tagging here so I can mark my spot  Story to follow!!  Gotta love a necro'd thread
 


Story attached


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 1, 2015)

I'll do like @Ahhzz is doing here and mark my spot............Yea if that didn't sound like a dog I don't know what did.


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 1, 2015)

Hmmm, So I guess we're just marking our spot until we edit and attach our entry.  Climbing aboard the train!!


EDIT:  I'm In!!!  My entry is attached!  


Spoiler



Before I had a chance to even comprehend what that could possibly mean, Chad had leapt forward into the void formerly occupied by the plastic.  His shotgun in the lead, I was dragged behind him as if a ragdoll, his grip on my sleeve viselike.  Together we disappeared into a flash of light, the wailing voices left behind.

Dampness was the first thing I noticed in the gloom.  That and the somewhat distant sound of clicking and scurrying, interposed under the unmistakable sparking of arc welders and slurred, wet voices gurgling orders, followed by the occasional deep “rrrrriibit.”

“Come on, the foreman is this way” said Chad, letting go of my arm.  He strode confidently toward the flickering, torch lit cavern ahead.  I hesitantly followed, my eyes widening with what came into view.

Before me was the most unbelievable sight I had ever seen!  In this vast cavern were acres of low tables lined row after row, with motherboards, GPU’s Cases and Hard drives on them in various stages of assembly.  A hum in the air was from the countless numbers of large hissing cockroaches.  They scurried to and fro, carrying parts to tables, while others used their numerous arms to hold parts together while aiming arc-welders  and soldering irons.  Occasional scorch marks and melting appeared on parts, which earned the roach responsible the role of being a tasty snack for their taskmasters who moved down the rows.

“Humboldt, let me introduce you to David.  He reviews hardware for TPU,” said Chad.

“David”, gurgled the giant, man-sized frog, incredibly standing on his hind legs, cigar dangling from his mouth by the tongue wrapped around it.

“Listen Humboldt, I’ve got a big order for next week” said Chad.  “I’m going to need 50,000 computers initially, and one right now for David to review”

“50,000 we can do, but anything more and I’ ll to have to round up some grasshoppers to finish, and you know the old tale about the ant and the grasshopper, they aren’t the most reliable,” replied Humboldt.

“Humboldt?” I thought.  “Since when did frogs walk, talk, chomp cigars and oversee giant cockroaches?”  I still had not said a word.  My two hands felt like lead balloons, my tongue was numb, and my legs threatened to fail me any second.

“Also”, said Chad, “can you make sure at least the first batch is bug-free?”

Humboldt stared like Chad had two heads, slurped on his cigar and said “Have you looked around? Bug-free?” He began a deep, wet laugh while thrusting a review sample in my arms. “Go on, get!” 

We stumbled back the way we came, I in a daze.

I awoke in a sweat at 5AM. “I need to hurry to meet Chad.”  As I got dressed bleary-eyed, I realized I had nowhere to be.  There at the table was the computer, awaiting my review.  Two giant cockroaches were finishing with its initial setup!  As I lost consciousness, my last thought was “That’s not bug-free.”


I hope I did Dean proud.


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 1, 2015)

Always nice for the judges to get an idea of the large amount of work they will need to be doing! I am not a judge so remain relaxed..... the more the merrier, keep them busy I say!


----------



## theJesus (Dec 1, 2015)

I'm totally in.  This is my spot and you can't have it.
I didn't have time


----------



## sneekypeet (Dec 2, 2015)

I really thought more people would turn out for this.


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 2, 2015)

sneekypeet said:


> I really thought more people would turn out for this.



Maybe they haven't marked a spot and are quietly working away.  I know I had no time available last night to write, but intend to finally complete it.


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 2, 2015)

Marking my spot with a review for the worst product ever made











still loving my XFX 7970 DD


----------



## yogurt_21 (Dec 3, 2015)

I'm in, won a monitor from Kreij on a similar style contest. Love it. Marking my spot, story to follow.

edit: continuation attached, poor chad.


----------



## Frick (Dec 3, 2015)

Pretty sure I missed the mark with the story, but anyway I'm in.



Spoiler



Chad grabbed my horror-wound face with his calloused hands and turned my head to meet his gaze. There was fire in those eyes, fire and dead souls. His smile was twisted, the effect only slightly spoiled by his failed attempt at growing a beard.

“Now or never”, he whispered and shoved me ahead of him. I screamed as I fell forward, not downward, towards the swallowing dark. I fell forward on my face, into what felt like mud lazed with gasoline. The sounds abruptly ended, and all I could hear was Chad’s impish laughter.

“You guys never learn, do you!” he roared as I lifted myself up on my elbows. He kicked mud at me. “You want conspiracies so bad you believe any crappy effect!” He walked forward in the what I now saw was a tunnel. “Man, the day that gets old I’m dead.” A cigar had magically appeared in his mouth, the shotgun slung callously swinging back and forth.

I staggered upright, still confused. “But I saw dead souls in your eyes!” I shouted as I ran after him. I looked back and saw what indeed looked like bad lightning effects, still playing around the entrance. I looked closer at Chad when I caught up with him. “I still do!”

“I’m a hardware reviewer.” he said and went on in silence, not quite achieving a whistle.

“So what the hell is this about then?” I tried to scrape some mud off my clothes, but it had already started to dry. Chad stopped and held out his arm while his other hand gripped the shotgun in a way full of meaning.

“You really want to know?” He said and grinned a grin I really hated at this point.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?`” I said as sourly as I dared. He was still holding an semi-automatic shotgun with the safety off after all.

He gave me a look and then looked me up and down. Then he walked around me. Then he was touching me in places, my arms, he felt up my legs.

“What the hell man?” I shouted when I decided my pride was worth more than the iron fist of the shotgun. He looked at me with those dead eyes again, lowered his shotgun and simply stated: “March.”

So I did march, shotgun rubbing my back almost sensually.

Eventually the tunnel ended in a bright room with a green door at the end. Chad walked over to it and opened it. Inside there were rows and rows of operating tables, doctors doing things to people I recognized.

“Here is where the kill-switch and the rest of the electronics are installed.” Chad’s smile would have been winning was it made in different circumstances.

“We own you now. Tomorrow you will receive your first assignment. I’m guessing it has to do with that boatload of Asus stuff. We need it.”

And I realized there was no life in those eyes. Only fire.


----------



## Norton (Dec 4, 2015)

Rezasam1 said:


> TechpowerUp remembers Kreij
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Check out this amazing wallpaper done by @Rezasam1 in honor of Kreij and the XFX giveaway!


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 6, 2015)

Tatty Bump!  Come on guys, for the sake of half an hours artistic delight you can win yourself a decent card, if you already own something more powerful then you can always donate it too a future memorial build.... win win!  10 days left, lets not make it too easy for the few that have already got in on the act, they needz competition


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 6, 2015)

Many people don't feel confident enough in their creativity to put it out there.  At least that's been my experience over the last few decades.

But here, people, you have nothing to worry about! It's your fellow TPU family here, that's it.  Get with it and write!


----------



## Mussels (Dec 7, 2015)

i have absolutely zero confidence in my artistic talents.


----------



## manofthem (Dec 7, 2015)

rtwjunkie said:


> Many people don't feel confident enough in their creativity to put it out there.  At least that's been my experience over the last few decades.
> 
> But here, people, you have nothing to worry about! It's your fellow TPU family here, that's it.  Get with it and write!



I've just been so stinkin' busy lately, no time for anything. I've barely poked my head around here much lately, and it does make me sad. 

If I can manage some time, I'll give it a whirl.


----------



## theJesus (Dec 7, 2015)

Tatty_One said:


> Tatty Bump!  Come on guys, for the sake of half an hours artistic delight you can win yourself a decent card, if you already own something more powerful then you can always donate it too a future memorial build.... win win!  10 days left, lets not make it too easy for the few that have already got in on the act, they needz competition


I fully intend to update my earlier post with an entry.  I've been super busy though, so I'll probably end up doing it at the last minute.


----------



## bubbleawsome (Dec 7, 2015)

theJesus said:


> I'll probably end up doing it at the last minute.


Is there any other way to do work?


----------



## theJesus (Dec 7, 2015)

bubbleawsome said:


> Is there any other way to do work?


By attempting to get it done ahead of time, but getting delayed by waiting on other people to do prerequisite work, which they waited 'til last minute to do, then encountered issues and got delayed, thus delaying you so that you end up having to do your part last-minute as well?  And then that impacts everything else you were planning to work on, so you end up getting stuck doing everything last-minute.

So, uhh, yeah, I guess the answer to your question is "nope".


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 7, 2015)

Mussels said:


> i have absolutely zero confidence in my artistic talents.


Well might I suggest that now is the time to surprise yourself!   It does not necessarily need to be eloquent, funny, appropriate and different work well too!


----------



## yogurt_21 (Dec 7, 2015)

^ too true Kreij always encouraged that sort of thing, his contests were always for anyone.


----------



## RCoon (Dec 9, 2015)

Bumping because we need vastly more entries. You don't even have to be literate, the judges will make do with phonetic spelling


----------



## Mussels (Dec 9, 2015)

by the time i finish thinking up a good idea for what to write, the damn competition will be over XD

so far i've got about... two lines. neither are cocaine.


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 9, 2015)

Mussels said:


> by the time i finish thinking up a good idea for what to write, the damn competition will be over



The base is there already thanks to @Kreij.  Just start writing and let your imagination go!  Heck, you could expand it just from your hardware finding activities, spiced up a little.


----------



## yogurt_21 (Dec 9, 2015)

Mussels said:


> by the time i finish thinking up a good idea for what to write, the damn competition will be over XD
> 
> so far i've got about... two lines. neither are cocaine.



many options here based on the setup;

you show up and Golum's there clutching the item for the review and you have to steal it from him.

the portal is exactly what it looks like 2x 4's  and plastic wrap, chad is crazy or hopped up on drugs and has a shotgun, now what?

the portal takes you to a kill room, chad is a stargate serial killer.

you end up in steam fighting your way through your favorite games to earn the item you need to review, wait crap this one is achievement based and requires multiplayer.

there is no steam cloud backup, chad screwed up and the portal vaporizes you both, gone forever.

the portal shrinks you down like Antman tom has the items in plain site just really tiny.

the portal takes you to Ferenginar where you must negotiate a good deal for the parts with a Ferangi...good luck.

the Sith have your parts and Chad is a Jedi, that shotgun is actually a combination lightsaber.

The portal is a tardis...who the hell cares about parts anymore?


----------



## neatfeatguy (Dec 9, 2015)

Dang that 500 word limit - I had to cut things out :-(

Either way, this was fun. I used to do a lot of writing and poetry years a go. Most of it was lost to a HDD crash and I have kind of falling out of writing. So it was fun doing this little add-on adventure. Reading the entries has been entertaining.

Here's my story.


----------



## Ahhzz (Dec 9, 2015)

neatfeatguy said:


> Dang that 500 word limit - I had to cut things out :-(
> 
> Either way, this was fun. I used to do a lot of writing and poetry years a go. Most of it was lost to a HDD crash and I have kind of falling out of writing. So it was fun doing this little add-on adventure. Reading the entries has been entertaining.
> 
> Here's my story.


The duke abides.....


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 9, 2015)

i have 216 words to go.

out of 300.


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 9, 2015)

CAPSLOCKSTUCK said:


> i have 216 words to go.
> 
> out of 300.


Just repeat "Badger Burger" 108 times


----------



## dorsetknob (Dec 9, 2015)

Tatty_One said:


> Just repeat "Badger Burger" 108 times



Is that a Clue to the winning story  or  mod Sabotage


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 9, 2015)

dorsetknob said:


> Is that a Clue to the winning story  or  mod Sabotage


Think yourself lucky I am not a judge, if I were only Donald Trump voters could win


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 9, 2015)

Tatty_One said:


> Just repeat "Badger Burger" 108 times



i would like to win not be culled.


----------



## Sasqui (Dec 11, 2015)

manofthem said:


> I've just been so stinkin' busy lately, no time for anything. I've barely poked my head around here much lately, and it does make me sad.
> 
> If I can manage some time, I'll give it a whirl.



Same here, I'm in... hope to have time to really be in.


----------



## Easy Rhino (Dec 11, 2015)

I am in! I have attached the RTF file and I pasted it below. I think Kreij would appreciate the references. 



> I will never forget the sensation of entering into that doorway. My insides felt like they were my outsides and my outsides felt like they were being stretched beyond their limits. I don't remember any pain, just a sense of dread and delusion. It was over quickly though and when I came to my senses, Chad and I had arrived smack in the middle of a CompUSA!
> 
> Chad seemed entirely un-phased by our journey through the doorway.
> 
> ...


----------



## Ahhzz (Dec 11, 2015)

Easy Rhino said:


> I am in! I have attached the RTF file and I pasted it below. I think Kreij would appreciate the references.


Damn, Rhino. good story


----------



## Sasqui (Dec 11, 2015)

Ahhzz said:


> Damn, Rhino. good story



I second that


----------



## T-Bob (Dec 11, 2015)

Ahhzz said:


> Damn, Rhino. good story


Great story! Rhino


----------



## Guitar (Dec 13, 2015)

Hope I remember to do this...marking my spot.

EDIT: Attached.

Man, it's been so long since I've done any kind of writing. I think trying to contain it within 500 words made it way worse for me, and the fact I had a couple ideas floating around and couldn't decide what to go with so I just winged it. Whatever, it was fun!



Spoiler: False Reality



Suddenly my legs gave out and I felt my body fly forward as if I was hit by a Mack truck from behind. For what felt like an eternity I was hopelessly flying through a void that I could describe as none other than serene; but that quickly ended as I was thrust down and smacked against the cool concrete floor.

Where are we? I exclaimed, jumping up and brushing myself off, feeling a state of disarray from my surprise field trip. As I glanced around, there appeared to be aisles and aisles of shelves containing all the parts an enthusiast could imagine, both new and old. Chad just laughed as he disappeared into one of the far aisles, so I took the liberty myself to start poking around.

As I maneuvered through the technological treasure trove, I couldn’t help but grin like a kid in a candy shop at all the hardware before my eyes. From what appeared to be new specifications of USB to full-fledged Steam box the size of a pack of gum, it seemed like everything was just beckoning for me to get my greedy hands on and play with it.

“You can look but don’t touch” I heard someone call out from behind. I turned and saw Chad standing there with a plain white box nestled under his arm.

“What is it?” I excitedly blurted out.

“Well, a couple of months ago, this small startup company asked me to review their new piece” Chad explained. “They drew me in with the features and talk of all the great things this new piece could supposedly do”

“SO what is it?!?” I prodded.

“A new type of VR headset. Unlike the current crop, it is fully contained, and doubles as an augmented reality device. It can overlay the game onto your real world environment and use it as a playing field” Chad divulged.

I stared at him for a moment in awe thinking all of the possibilities this device could have. “Can I try it?” I pleaded.

“Sure, but be careful – they did mention some weird issues they had to work out” Chad murmured.

He handed me the box and I took the headset out. Excited to try it on, I quickly loosened the straps and placed it on my head. As I hit the power button, I got this strange feeling when suddenly…

I opened my eyes to find Chad standing over me with a worried look. “What happened?” I asked, confused from the events I just witnessed.

“Sorry man, one of the lights exploded when I turned on the power to my storage room. You must have passed out from the shock” Chad explained.

“But the portal, the headset…?” I stammered.

“What are you talking about man? You must have hit your head harder than I thought” Chad countered. I sat up, and all I could see was a hardware graveyard. Then suddenly, out the corner of my eye, I spied a plain white box….


----------



## newconroer (Dec 13, 2015)

I read only this page - can't figure out what's going on, hope everyone is having fun.

Would read again.


----------



## sneekypeet (Dec 13, 2015)

newconroer said:


> I read only this page - can't figure out what's going on, hope everyone is having fun.
> 
> Would read again.



This may shed some light for you.... http://www.techpowerup.com/forums/threads/steam-skyrim-contest.154788/page-7#post-2461686


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 14, 2015)

Come on guys, just 2 days to go, get those manuscripts posted in here otherwise.....

1.   Judges won't have any work to do, ..... they need some!
2.  We are at risk of that badger breeding @CAPSLOCKSTUCK winning and I just hate badgers!

Do it for Dean, finish his story, make him proud(er).


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 14, 2015)

bugger


----------



## theJesus (Dec 14, 2015)

I don't think I'm gonna have time.   Too much RL work.


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 15, 2015)

i marked a spot ages back but i dont want my effort to be missed so i am posting again now, i said i would have a go and here it is, i hope it makes you smile even if it doesnt win me a GPU i have a great XFX card anyway.

I gave up counting the words but i think there are enough, i added a picture just in case. (it should count for at least one more)


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 15, 2015)

@CAPSLOCKSTUCK  trying for every little edge, huh? 

You DO realize that so few of us entered @Tatty_One will have no trouble knowing who submitted an entry, even on a marked spot 1 and a half pages back.


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 15, 2015)

Good luck to everyone, i read all the other entries, they are all great.

We all entered with the right spirit in our hearts and thats the main thing. 

i have plenty of experience at being a loser so dont worry about me. 


The marked spot to which you refer @rtwjunkie ,i fear, is this one 



 

all good fun folks..................im sure Dean would approve........


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 15, 2015)

CAPSLOCKSTUCK said:


> The marked spot to which you refer @rtwjunkie ,i fear, is this one



Yeah, I guess it would be bad luck to use that one!

To echo my learned Welsh friend, good luck to all who entered and put themselves "out there!"


----------



## 64K (Dec 15, 2015)

I would know it came from Caps even if it had been submitted anonymously.

"Badger Phone Company" 



Good job man. We need more badger.


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 15, 2015)

64K said:


> I would know it came from Caps even if it had been submitted anonymously.
> 
> "Badger Phone Company"
> 
> ...




FFS.....dont encourage me


Its off GTA man...............they paid me!   not really


----------



## neatfeatguy (Dec 15, 2015)

CAPSLOCKSTUCK said:


> FFS.....dont encourage me
> 
> 
> Its off GTA man...............they paid me!   not really



Only badger that I'm familiar with is the one that I grew up with - Bucky Badger. My mom is a huge Badger fan. I'm sure you'd fit right in with the badger fans in Wisconsin....

Here's Bucky!


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 15, 2015)

please lets not start the badger thing in this thread...................i really dont want to get banned.


----------



## dorsetknob (Dec 15, 2015)

"I am in "
my quick effort and it does not involve dwarfs and badgers


----------



## Guitar (Dec 16, 2015)

Updated my post with my entry. Reading these are great! Very fun idea.


----------



## yogurt_21 (Dec 16, 2015)

^ I think that's my fav thus far.


----------



## dorsetknob (Dec 16, 2015)

A nod and a wink and a bump for our sponser XFX


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 16, 2015)

Shameless....That  only covers one of the judges.


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 16, 2015)

rtwjunkie said:


> Shameless....That's only one of the judges.



Heres the other Judge




@dorsetknob

such blatant brown nosing.


----------



## dorsetknob (Dec 16, 2015)

Final bump and one for the ladies this time
ps its the third judge





Update your placeholder posts with your entry because it will soon be 23:59


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 17, 2015)

*Competition is now officially closed*, thank you to all who have made entries to support the memory of our good friend by finishing off his story, thanks to everyone that has visited the thread and bumped it on the front page, what's refreshing to see is that the core of our community continues to be involved in such positive things and I really am grateful.  Personally, I became a moderator at the same time as Dean, we both became Senior Moderators together, we were both shall we say at the mature end of the communities membership but Dean had a real knack of connecting with everyone and despite my age, I learnt much from him and I am grateful to him for that.

The winner will be announced in the next few days, at which time I will ask that they message me with name/address which I will pass to our good friends at XFX who will arrange delivery of the graphics card.

Thank you


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 17, 2015)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

nice words    


better than my story........(bloody pipe smoking gibbon. )


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 17, 2015)

Good luck all!  I think Dean would be pleased with any of the continuations of his story!  I don't envy the judges.


----------



## RCoon (Dec 17, 2015)

rtwjunkie said:


> Good luck all!  I think Dean would be pleased with any of the continuations of his story!  I don't envy the judges.


I haven't read any of the entries yet. Want to have them all fresh in my mind when it comes to judging!


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 17, 2015)

RCoon said:


> I haven't read any of the entries yet. Want to have them all fresh in my mind when it comes to judging!



I knew @CAPSLOCKSTUCK was mistaken about the badger judge.

It was actually a badass raccoon!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


  j/k

*I'm sure he just got the black and white markings confused.


----------



## dorsetknob (Dec 18, 2015)

XFX Sponser bump  creep grovel ect







Spoiler:  Don't the card look Great 



Yes i want to win











and it bumps on the front page   of TPU


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 18, 2015)

I subliminally advertise XFX to myself everytime i turn on my pc


----------



## rtwjunkie (Dec 18, 2015)

Look at all these people who lack confidence in their skills.


----------



## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 18, 2015)

rtwjunkie said:


> Look at all these people who lack confidence in their skills.




you must be referring to all the people who didnt enter the competition


----------



## dorsetknob (Dec 19, 2015)

XFX market other things besides graphics cards




PSU













Vist our sponser website  your be AMAZED what Kit they have

another product placment grovel


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## Tatty_One (Dec 19, 2015)

Lol, keep trying, I have an XFX PSU (Seasonic OEM), maybe you could go out and buy some products to increase your chances


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## RCoon (Dec 19, 2015)

Just started the judging. I was in a super serious conversation with a coworker, and then I started reading @dorsetknob 's entry and started laughing uncontrollably at the completely random chaotic mish mash of sentences I was reading. Seems to be a good mental exercise for a gloomy Saturday afternoon.


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## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 19, 2015)

Me and @dorsetknob ....we are going shopping for products together.   SELFIE


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## Guitar (Dec 19, 2015)

I spy some pretty brown noses in here!


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## dorsetknob (Dec 19, 2015)

Guitarrassdeamor said:


> I spy some pretty brown noses in here!



 and i can taste and smell it  i aint proud  i also pick up pennies in the street and i salvage old thrown out parts


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## 64K (Dec 19, 2015)

dorsetknob said:


> and i can taste and smell it  i aint proud  i also pick up pennies in the street and i salvage old thrown out parts



I hope you win @dorsetknob
You've certainly worked hard enough for it.


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## vega22 (Dec 19, 2015)

i have no idea what is going on in here, but i totally get behind any thread with this image


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## dorsetknob (Dec 19, 2015)

vega22 said:


> i have no idea what is going on in here, but i totally get behind any thread with this image



STRICTLY PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL ON BEHALF OF OUR SPONSER  XFX


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## theJesus (Dec 20, 2015)

I wish this would have had a few more days on the deadline.  I'm finally done with my projects for work, but it is too late.  

Oh well; my current GPU is more than enough for my needs anyways.


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## Tatty_One (Dec 20, 2015)

I am delighted to announce that we have a winner!  Firstly I would like to thank everyone who spent their valuable time to make an entry at what is a really busy time for all of us.  I would also like to thank those of you who supported the competition and this thread and in doing so Dean's memory, more thanks goes to XFX for their generosity in providing us with the prize, and lastly (honest) I would like to thank the judges who spent some difficult time antagonising over some really high quality pieces of work.

Ok, I am pleased to announce that our winner is @Ahhzz   Thank you for ending Kreij's story so well.  I would also like to thank in particular @Frick , @rtwjunkie and also @Easy Rhino for making the judges job so difficult with such high quality entries.  If the winner could message me please with full name and address I will send it over to XFX so they can despatch your shiny new graphics card ASP.

Once again, on behalf of myself, Sneeky, Norton, RCoon and all the others that contributed to this competition in the memory of our good friend, we thank you all and have a very Merry Christmas!


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## Ahhzz (Dec 20, 2015)

Holy Hell in a handbasket!!  No way!!!  That's amazing!!! Thanks so much @Tatty_One ! I don't even know what to say!!! Thanks to XFX and thanks to the wonderful soul that convinced them to give up a new card for Dean's memory. I really didn't think I had a chance when I saw so many wonderful entries, but if nothing else, I owed it to Dean to at least put a story out there, especially since it really was fun to stretch the mind a little and try to give an interesting ending. 

For someone who didn't know what to say, apparently, my mouth tends to run it self. 



I really appreciate the giveaway, and all the effort that went in from everyone who participated in any way. All fun and thrill aside, Thanks Kreij. It wouldn't take a stranger long going back over the many, many posts you donated here to see the person that you were. That person was upbeat. That person tried to raise other people's spirits. That person was a good friend to so, so many people here.  There's always something in me when I log in that hopes Special K is hanging out somewhere, drinking a beer, and making funny faces at us. I didn't know you half as well as you deserved, but I promise I try to make up for it every chance I can. 

Thanks.


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## rtwjunkie (Dec 20, 2015)

Congratulations @Ahhzz!!! . Your win was well-deserved!

Thanks @Tatty_One, @sneekypeet and @RCoon for the idea and the time you spent judging, and for allowing us to stretch our creative wings and finish Dean's story!

Big thanks to XFX for donating the card to such a worthwhile cause!!

All the stories were very good, and I was honored to participate in this endeavour.


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## theJesus (Dec 20, 2015)

Congrats!


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## CAPSLOCKSTUCK (Dec 20, 2015)

I enjoyed the whole process, i think we all  did. @Ahhzz i reckon you done him proud.  

well done to everybody spending the time and to XFX for giving the prize 



Im off to watch this sexy looking film


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## Guitar (Dec 21, 2015)

Congrats!


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## XFXSupport (Dec 21, 2015)

Thank you for all the positive feedback and we're happy this worked out so well.

We're sending the Prize shortly, Congrats.

Mark at XFX


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## rtwjunkie (Dec 21, 2015)

Thanks so much Mark!!! This was an excellent thing you did, sponsoring sonething like this that is so dear to the community!


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