# Old Uncle Kreij's 2011 Gamers' Christmas Contest



## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

*Old Uncle Kreij's 2011 Gamers' Christmas Contest*
Once again I simply ask that you write to the best of your ability.

*Contest :* Write why you think that TPU is the best website on the internet.
Your post will be judged by your eloquent use of the english language and your ability to use over-the-top analogies, injecting a great measure of humor and your butt kissing prowess.
Brown nosing and blowing sunshine and rainbows up the staffs' butt is allowed and recommended as this contest is designed to offset the beating we received in the "abuse the mods" contest. 
Blowing sunshine up my butt will not affect your chances of winning so I suggest you brown nose someone else who is more deserving.

I'm putting this contest in the gaming section because if you are not a gamer you will not appreciate, or need, the prize.

*RULES:*
1) Contest is open to all TPU members, including all staff.
2) You must be in a location that I can legally send you something from the US, and you must be willing to PM me your name and address.
3) One official entry per member. Posting in the thread is allowed, but *your entry MUST be marked as your official entry*.
4) All entries must be submitted before December 18th, 2011
5) All TPU posting guidelines are in effect ... as always. You've been warned.
6) There will be one judge for this contest. Me, and my decision is final. I will not ask anyone else to judge as it would exclude them from the contest.

*PRIZE :* I'm not telling you or anyone else. If you trust that yer Ol' Uncle Kreij will do you right, enter  the contest. If not, move along. It's that simple.

*DISCLAIMER:*
This is not an official TPU contest and by entering the contest you agree to hold TPU, it's staff and anyone else (including me) harmless in the event problems occur do to the fact of you accepting the prize.


----------



## qubit (Nov 20, 2011)

Hahaha, I'm gonna enjoy this one!  And we don't even know what the prize is. Awesome. 

Everyone: trust uncle Kreij.


----------



## erocker (Nov 20, 2011)

What's the prize?


----------



## AlienIsGOD (Nov 20, 2011)

erocker said:


> What's the prize?



the one we all usually reserve for W1z, *Teh Hookers and blow*


----------



## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

erocker said:


> What's the prize?



It's a secret. If you want to try to win, enter the contest.
After all, you don't know what's in a Christmas present until you open it, no?

I don't think we've ever had a "mystery prize" contest on TPU before. Should be fun.


----------



## Tatty_One (Nov 20, 2011)

*This is my official entry, get the sick bags out *


Ohhh Techpowerup ............Shall I compare thee to a Supermoderators smile? 
No......thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake my very browser
And summer's lease hath all too short a date, 
even though I often stay up far far too late

But thine community doth oooze incredulous appeal 
Kreij loins stiff and moist with anticipation at another B/S/T deal
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
That's my W1zzard.... some German geezer; hat round, pointed and brimmed

And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
For this community will always live on,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest, but never gone 
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this techpowerup and this gives life to thee.

Yeah, alright, I know it's bad, but it is at least "eloquent" and the origional "olde English"


----------



## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

Thanks for starting things off, Tatty. You are officially in the running.

Note : You can post multiple entries for fun, but one must be marked as your official entry.
Feel free to change which post is your official entry if you so desire.

I have the feeling this may be the most hysterically funny contest ever. 

Note 2 : I will not post what the prize is even when the contest is over. If the winner wishes to say what it was then they can do so
I want no kudos for this contest, it's just my way of saying thanks to the best bunch of internet misfits I've ever had the honor to know.


----------



## _JP_ (Nov 20, 2011)

Kreij said:


> your eloquent use of the english language and your ability to use over-the-top analogies


Aw damn...I'm out.


----------



## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

_JP_ said:


> Aw damn...I'm out.



Go for it JP.
It's not about spelling or grammar, it's just about attitude and good fun.


----------



## theJesus (Nov 20, 2011)

*This is my official entry.* _Its contents are subject to change at any time until the end of the contest._

TPU is not merely the best site on the internet; it is the best community in the world.  Period.  This and all prior contests are evidence of that, as are Paulieg's Pay it Forward, and the MKmods Tribute Build, just to name a few.

But let's stop and think for a moment: What draws so many great people to TPU, like Charlie Sheen is drawn to coke and hookers?

The staff, my dear friends, the staff . . .

W1z no doubt writes the most splendiferous GPU reviews, testing new cards 'til they go BOOM!
Darksaber subjects his components to repeated installation in more cases than Ron Jeremy has installed himself in women.
btarunr sacrifices his sanity every day wading through incomprehensible Engrish to bring us the latest news.
Qubit martyrs himself daily in the name of humor and satire.
DanTheBanjoman is evil and sadistic, but that's OK because we're all masochists on the inside.
Black Panther, well, she showed us her bum.
Mussels moderates upside down; all the blood rushing to his head makes him Mildly Insane.
sneekypeet sells cases and coolers LIKE A BOSS
TheMailMan--oh, he's not staff?--nevermind.
I think erocker secretly hates us all and I'm not sure what the rest of you do, besides babysit us weirdos


----------



## Kreij (Nov 20, 2011)

theJesus said:


> Its contents are subject to change at any time until the end of the contest.



No worries people, I always reread all of the entries in my contests after the contest is closed to make sure I didn't miss anything that may have changed.


----------



## JC316 (Nov 20, 2011)

This is my official entry.

TPU is great from the jump. Simple stuff like registering, you enter a username, e-mail, then you start posting. With other sites, the registration process is like having to run nekkid through a cactus farm and not come out bloody on the other side.

Once you register, odds are you won't post anything thanks to the ridiculous amount of tech info and reviews. You can spend a week just reading. Once you do decide to post, you will encounter the friendliest bunch of nerds on the internet. You don't feel like you are being thrown in with hungry rottweilers with a bacon suit on.

The staff is usually nice, unless you catch erocker with low blood sugar or something, but a ban is always the last resort. The reviews are top notch and let me tell you something, reviewing for W1z is like having a pine cone shoved up your ass, but the end result is awesome, so my hat is off to all reviewers. 

The people make the site, so obviously TPU is the best. Now generalnonsense.net, that is where the rejects like me get sent, thus making TPU even better.


----------



## Iceni (Nov 20, 2011)

Official entry.

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away i was a member of a forum called Geforcezone. The forum was clean, informative and had a good collection of members who would willingly try to destroy hardware by doing stupid things mostly in the name of 3dmark99/01.

On this site I was taught by some of the most enthusiastic, people i have ever met. Note enthusiastic doesn't run hand in hand with successful. In fact this site taught me the hard learned lesson of bricking your rig, over clocking to destruction, and the overall cost of keeping up to date in a world where things change pace at a rate equal to the rate you should change your underwear. 

The geforcezone however was a little xenophobic, and after ATI started to produce cards that were as powerful if not more powerful than the competition the site had a rebrand. Ausfx was born, Here we spoke the magic of over clocking to a wide audience of wide eyed boys sat in dark corners trying to get max payne to run at anything more than a slide show. The techboys advised, beat down, and starved the trolls. The over clockers compared scores, ranted and generally showed the rest of the community up, And the moderators were seen as the fair hand of god, willing to break the back of the lay user, and keep everyone on the straight and narrow.

Well times change, Hardware develops, people move on, and more importantly people get complacent.

With complacence comes fear, You have used your rig, in the same case for years. You know the numbers. As a consumer you become hardened but not wizened by age. So you go back to your old haunts to find they are no more, Domains have changed, sites disbanded, resources lost and pitifully out of date. It's all well and good checking out a nice site but when it's more like reading an archive of past computer parts it may as well no longer exist... It's just like the ends of the internet, still sat there from times gone, just for the few people that have been stuck in a time vortex and refused to move for the past 10 years. 

And with that you start a web trawl. 

Sometimes a web trawl leads you directly to your destination, Like getting a taxi home after too many drinks, you can neither remember speaking the destination, or the ride but somehow you land at your front door and the key works. 

Other times you have gone to a foreign land, Asked for the airport, had a 3 hour drive and ended up at some god forbidden part of the island surrounded by locals, where English is a language only whispered about. You can walk for days and still the best conversation your going to get is the donkey you managed to marry, and the caramel that a local swapped for your wife... Your screwed, Nothing is getting you any closer to your destination.... Then all of a sudden something in the distance catches your eye... A sign, something you can actually get some tangible information from. 

So you read on....

However the sign you saw was only half truths, parts of a bigger story. People have linked and grabbed from there catacombs, And then dumped the carcass on a butchers block to be dismembered, The site you found is a sham, The people and the community are not the source of the information. There acting upon information learned elsewhere, plucked and picked at to only show you the parts that will sell. This is not a tangible site filled with chaos failure and problem solving. No this a link node, with some of the finest googlers out there, to get to the root and source you must delve deeper, and eventually like a well spring the source is tapped.

Apprehension.

You see it on every new comers face. A post filled with apologies, Broken English, and bad grammar. You know this is an first post. You can almost feel the sweat on the chubby fingers tapping furiously on a worn keyboard. The pent frustration and fear of a beat down for a problem that has probably been asked a million times. Answered in stickies, and posted in a noobie filter thread that the chubby fingers managed to evade while the frantic eyes mealy skimmed the page looking for the start new post button.

The beat down is Nigh, 

Then out of the depths of madness comes.



tigger said:


> Welcome to TPU
> 
> You will find all your needs and questions answered by the fine fellows here.



Ice broken, Threat of posting completely nullified.... what's not to love! 

This forums gets most things right, Friendly, Informative, It's the source of a lot of the data that is been used, It has super techys, super OCers, and expert problem solvers. All wrapped up with an easy to use interface without any of those daft colours, flashy bits, Ect.

If it can be answered someone here will solve it. And you won't get flamed to crap in the process.


----------



## white phantom (Nov 21, 2011)

*my official entry*

MY official entry (might as well give it a bash since never have before  )

well well well...the good old techpower up 

It is simply the best site on the web for us computer "nerds"  period!
It is packed with everything you will ever need for all your computing and tech related wooos and woes, from the latest reviews to the best case gallery pics anywhere on the www. 
The best part is the members though  each one who i have met has been of the most amazing help with some even going out there way to help a newcomer out, i remember my first day signed up asking about a cheapo water cooler and straight away was welcomed with great help and advice and even got offered parts for my system for the simple price of postage in place of what i was asking about(not sure if the member would want mentioned here however i have thanked him elsewhere).
 Nowhere else on the web have i felt more "virtually" welcomed than at techpower up along with being informed daily with the latest and greatest of the world of tech and not getting gunned down for asking a "stupid nooby question" just simply replied with super answers or links to help me out.
 It doesn't matter where you are from or what system you have got being it stone age dated or sci fi cutting edge its one big techy family and the best bit?..... Theres still a long list of members for me to meet and plenty of time for me to do it in 

So cheers to the guys and gals at techpower up for making it the best site on the WWW EVER! 

just a short one and to the point for me 

thanks

white


----------



## Kreij (Nov 21, 2011)

What kind of moron makes a contest and doesn't tell you what the prize is ?!? :shadedshu

Oh wait ....


----------



## EarthDog (Nov 21, 2011)

My official entry: LOL.


----------



## Irony (Nov 21, 2011)

(Please agree to the unincluded EULA before commenting.)

After many long hard seconds of Grueling Agonizing searching through the english language for the utmost descriptors of this Forum, not to mention trying to decide between obtaining an original thought or Plaigeurizing something applicable from the great Internets, I came to the unalterable conclusion that TPU can not be summed up in one word; it must take a number. 

Pi. 

In its full, infinite state it is all inclusive; much like Om.


----------



## scaminatrix (Nov 21, 2011)

TPU is the best site on the net because there is no other site where you can laugh, cry, buy, sell, hate on macs and fap all in one sitting.

Eagerly waiting for this year's saucy christmas avatars....


*Official entry*

Oh and...


Irony said:


> Please agree to the unincluded EULA before commenting.


----------



## AhokZYashA (Nov 21, 2011)

i going to think for a while, 
absolutely no idea at this moment


----------



## MilkyWay (Nov 21, 2011)

April fools.

EDIT: LOL Kreij. I might have a think about this one, see what people post first.


----------



## Kreij (Nov 21, 2011)

MilkyWay said:


> April fools.



If you were born in April, maybe. If you don't enter the contest, definitely. 

Take your time, all. Lots of time to ponder on what you want to write or to make changes to what you've already entered.

*Contest FAQ*
Q) Why should I enter if I don't know what the prize is going to be or if I will like/want it?
A) STFU and enter, or lose out on your chance to win. 

Enjoy the contest folks.

(the FAQ was not directed at you, Kieran, I'm just trolling my contest thread. lol)


----------



## assaulter_99 (Nov 22, 2011)

My official entry :

TPU keeps me from wantin" more pr0n. That in itself is proof that its the best Wsite on the net. Nuff said.


----------



## exodusprime1337 (Nov 22, 2011)

here is mine, tried to be as cheesy as possible lol

In the interwebs of yonder came a young man ponder
Wherefore might the great overclocking minds wander
Search after search google made my mind somber
Whence out in the cloud TPU rose like a great WWII bomber

What is this, oh and this, oh this, and this
I registered quicker than I could take a piss
With my new handle email confirmed
Wait I see this and this and this

Lost in the searches and threads and the posts
I couldn’t believe that this site had the most
From the Crazy picture thread’s hilarious jokes
To the OC and Cooling threads numerous pros

When I was lost the mods came like navi the farie
Resurrecting me like a year old post
Pointing me back to the thread made for gaming
Bad Company 2 yeah!!! My M90 roaring

Christmas came and my girl came to you
Erocker the god over at TPU
My BF wants the most epic of gifts
Erocker says here go get this

Black Panther shows up on my facebook wall
A moderator giving smiles to all
Easy Rhino with his Teamspeak servers
So I can hear my victims whimpers

Whats wrong with our forums 
This thread shows from time to time
Nothing you fools, go look at Overclockers.net
This family we have seems to do nothing but thrive

Not kissing any ass, but let me confide
You guys and girls on the forums help keep me alive
My hobby is thriving, and my computer surviving
Thanks to the mods, and paulieg the wise!!


----------



## _JP_ (Nov 22, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Go for it JP.
> It's not about spelling or grammar, it's just about attitude and good fun.


Alright.
*Grabs the mike*
Ahem.



Attention TPU forum members!
*SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING DARK SIDE!!!*
That is all.



Uhm, That didn't go well... :\

Nah, I'm just kidding. I'll try to come up with something (better).


----------



## Athlon2K15 (Nov 22, 2011)

i think tpu is the best because we have the best motherboard reviewer on the planet


----------



## _JP_ (Nov 22, 2011)

AthlonX2 said:


> i think tpu is the best because we have the best motherboard reviewer on the planet


Yeah, couldn't agree better.
Hey, where is themailman, btw? (or crazyeyesreaper, by that matter)


----------



## spixel (Nov 22, 2011)

Q. Why is techpowerup forums the best? 

A. if you take the letters in "techpowerup " you can create the following

we r the popu (lar) 
or
we r pope 


edit-


----------



## CDdude55 (Nov 22, 2011)

I don't need crack i don't need weed, TPU is all i need. lol


----------



## Irony (Nov 22, 2011)

AthlonX2 said:


> i think tpu is the best because we have the best motherboard reviewer on the planet



Along with W1zz's graphics reviews.


----------



## Kreij (Nov 22, 2011)

CDdude55 said:


> I don't need crack i don't need weed, TPU is all i need. lol



No crack or weed is what I hears, just TPU and a couple beers.

Keep up the good work all, I'm enjoying the entries a lot. I knew I could count on you jackwagons.

Prize hint .... drumroll ... it's bigger than a raisin. lol
(If I get banned for trolling my contest thread I'll make sure the winner still gets the prize somehow.  )


----------



## btarunr (Nov 22, 2011)

Apparently TMZ is a better website than Nasa.gov (higher traffic), so TPU can't be the best website on the internet. Rather, TPU is the best website to me, out of the same love you'd have towards  something you created, or the Creator. 

I've created, and helped create a lot of content on TPU, and helped shape the website at every scale (be it major functional changes, or minor cosmetic ones). At the same time, TPU and the community have given a lot to me. So I have a bit of bonding with TPU, and that's what makes TPU the best website for me.


----------



## Irony (Nov 22, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Prize hint .... drumroll ... it's bigger than a raisin. lol



That doesn't rule out critical mass!!


My first entry will probably become unofficial soon...I've been getting ideas.


----------



## Kreij (Nov 22, 2011)

Here's one for the old farts who remember S&G ...

Hello TPU, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
With dreams of banning while I was sleeping
And the tech news that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the realm made by W1zzard

In pointess threads I walked alone
Narrow posts of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a LCD
I turned my collar to the cold and Cheep
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the realm made by W1zzard

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand members, maybe more
Members talking without speaking
Members hearing without listening
Members writing posts that voices never share
And no one cared
Don't disturb the realm made by W1zzard

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Trolling like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent keystrokes fell
And echoed
In the realm made by W1zzard

And the people bowed and prayed
To the internet god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the forum walls
And the mods' halls"
And whispered in the realm made by W1zzard


----------



## MilkyWay (Nov 22, 2011)

*OFFICIAL ENTRY*
Better the devil you know!

TPU is crack for tech junkies.
It has the readers digest of tech news.
It has the playboy pics of hardware pr0n.
Like the citizens advice bureau if it did computer advice.

TPU HQ is a classy joint.

I like techpowerup because im a glutton for punishment.



> Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
> Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
> 
> Wouldn't you like to get away?
> ...


----------



## Irony (Nov 22, 2011)

I think we should all get out while we still have a shred of dignity; those of us who had any to begin with. Kreij is obviously going to win his prize of which no one is yet sure.  
Not a one of us stands a chance. . . oh wait, can he win his own contest? Of course he can. He probably has several other profiles by which he submits amazing pagefuls of literary genius with which to pursuade the other half of his alter personality to let him win his own contest. 

Wait...


----------



## Kreij (Nov 22, 2011)

If I gave the prize of my contest to myself the bloodbath I would receive here on TPU would be legendary even in hell.

Your post made me laugh, Irony. Thanks.


----------



## theJesus (Nov 22, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Prize hint .... drumroll ... it's bigger than a raisin. lol
> (If I get banned for trolling my contest thread I'll make sure the winner still gets the prize somehow.  )


Fuck this shit, I wanted a god damned raisin!

j/k, I'm still in


----------



## Kreij (Nov 23, 2011)

I've decided to reveal the prize. It's a A69rt559jfJaSFHH99Lozr9304d10w88q

Dang :/
For some reason my browser encrypted the prize text. Oh well.


----------



## scaminatrix (Nov 23, 2011)

Kreij said:


> I've decided to reveal the prize. It's a A69rt559jfJaSFHH99Lozr9304d10w88q
> Dang :/
> For some reason my browser encrypted the prize text. Oh well.



Hmmmm.... I'm sure this is one of those cryptic clues Kreij is famous for...
Or I've just spent 20  minutes trying to decipher gibberish


----------



## Kreij (Nov 23, 2011)

It's gibberish, but if you want I can post a real hash of the prize that you won't ever be able to decipher anyway. lol

This is a Christmas contest guys. Do you think I would let you down?


----------



## scaminatrix (Nov 23, 2011)

And I thought it was a clue


----------



## Kreij (Nov 23, 2011)

scaminatrix said:


> And I thought it was a clue



This is not directed at you Scam, just gotta say it ...

Here's the real clue. Members who've been around for awhile know this.

In 2008 our only son, and only child, was killed in a car accident.
He was going to college and learning to be a game designer. I was so looking forward to playing his first game. That dream is gone.
I spoiled the crap out of him by buying him lots of cool tech stuff and games at Christmas.
I don't have the joy of doing that any more.  So I do it for you guys because you're my tech family now.
I do this in memory of him. His name was Garrett.

Enter the contest for me if nothing else. I really could use some laughs.


----------



## qubit (Nov 23, 2011)

Kreij said:


> This is not directed at you Scam, just gotta say it ...
> 
> Here's the real clue. Members who've been around for awhile know this.
> 
> ...



Christ that's awful.  I'm really sorry for your loss. Considering how well you treat us troublesome reprobates, I know he got nothing but the best from you and your wife and you guys should feel proud, always. 

You always make great posts and I love to thank them, but I dunno if thanking news like this is appropriate or not?

You're a good guy, K and TPU is an even better place because of you.  I'll make an entry soonest.


----------



## theJesus (Nov 23, 2011)

I'm real sorry to hear that, man.


----------



## Irony (Nov 23, 2011)

I'm really sorry to hear that. That's the most tragic thing I've heard in a long while. Now I feel depressed. 

I think everyone can relate, because we've all had someone we know die. In the last 5 years I've had 6 family members die. mostly of natural causes, but still its very sobering.


----------



## assaulter_99 (Nov 24, 2011)

R.I.P Garett. I kinda feel for ya man, I can surely know its hard (have had my fair share of family deaths to deal with recently) It ain't fair, but anyways, is life fair at all? I just keep asking myself these questions over and over again. 

Oh well I guess we all have to move on.


----------



## DannibusX (Nov 24, 2011)

This is my official entry

I came to TPU to find some answers about an issue I was having with one of the first computers I built.  My first post about it was subsequently ignored for a week.  I bumped it and got plenty of helpful feedback.  I started reading hardware reviews, namely video card reviews from W1zzard and found them to be really well done and it made some hardware purchases really easy for me.

Then I started talking to the community much more and found a bunch of people to play video games with.  I like the modern era, with so many people I can make friends with around the world and talk to, play games with yet never meet in person.  It's amazing.

I like to read people's opinions on hardware, games and other software and watch hilarity ensue over whether CoD was the most awesome thing ever or AMD was a consistent failure to nVidia essentially being the cause of global warming.

I went back and found my first ever post on TPU:

It turns out (quite embarassingly) that I had plugged the 4-pin connecter on my 20+4 into my motherboard first, which would hold the 20 pin out just enough to cause my system to hang on startup.  I ended up selling that mobo/ram/proc combo to Solaris17, one of the many awesome dudes that consistently put up with crap from me on the forum.

The ass kissing part?  I have had no problems with any of the staff for TPU, I've even said a fair number of questionable things over the last 2 years I've been posting here.  If they have an issue, they've always sent a kind PM.  Except for Sneekypeet.  He's tried to get me drunk to take advantage of me on several occasions.  Luckily, over many years of the bar scene, I have developed a tolerance to GHB.

Edit:  I also got to give credit where credit is due.  I probably wouldn't have found TPU if it weren't for GPU-Z being available on File Hippo.


----------



## Kreij (Nov 24, 2011)

For all those who celebrate the Thanksgiving Holiday, HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL.
We al have trials and tribulation in our lives, but it's always good to reflect on all the blessings and good things that have come your way, and be thankful for them.

I'm thankful for finding TPU and getting to meet some of the finest tech junkies and programmers on the internet. You guys have saved me countless hours when troubleshooting problems and have really made my life and this website a lot of fun. 
May God bless you all ... always.

Okay, that's all. Get back to working on your entries.


----------



## sixequalszero (Nov 27, 2011)

erocker said:


> What's the prize?



Priority registration


----------



## MilkyWay (Nov 27, 2011)

Needs moar entries.


----------



## theJesus (Nov 27, 2011)

MilkyWay said:


> Needs moar entries.


On the contrary, you should all quit so I win


----------



## Irony (Nov 27, 2011)

Quit commenting! Then it'll show up in 'New Posts' and someone might see it and try to usurp the throne.


----------



## Ahhzz (Nov 28, 2011)

/tag
so I can come back with more time and hit this with the respect it deserves


----------



## THRiLL KiLL (Nov 28, 2011)

there is only one reason why i come to tpu. Its the people who make up the site.  There is a quality staff on board, and some decent regulars.  Remove either of them and the site will fade back to nothing. 


And to Kreij.  I am sorry to hear about your son, my thoughts and prayers go out to your family. I nearly lost my child as well (illness). Its amazing what you will do for your children when given the chance. I moved across the country to find a doctor and cure for my child.


----------



## de.das.dude (Nov 28, 2011)

Kreij said:


> This is not an official TPU contest and by entering the contest you agree to hold TPU, it's staff and anyone else (including me) harmless in the event problems occur do to the fact of you accepting the prize.



some pretty hardcore prize. im scared to even participate


----------



## _JP_ (Nov 28, 2011)

Kreij said:


> In 2008 our only son, and only child, was killed in a car accident.
> He was going to college and learning to be a game designer. I was so looking forward to playing his first game. That dream is gone.
> I spoiled the crap out of him by buying him lots of cool tech stuff and games at Christmas.
> I don't have the joy of doing that any more. So I do it for you guys because you're my tech family now.
> I do this in memory of him. His name was Garrett.


Oh, I had no idea. I am so sorry for your loss. R.I.P Garrett.
I will try to come up with something in the meantime...but no promises because I'm really bad at this...


----------



## Kreij (Dec 2, 2011)

Prize has been updated with a new and better prize. Since you don't know what it is anyway, consider this just a bump to make sure everyone sees it who wants to enter. 

Thanks for the well wishes, guys, but I don't want sympathy. I want you to realize that even though we all go through tough times we should still have the spirit and fortitude to help others when we can.


----------



## Irony (Dec 2, 2011)

I feel like you keep trying to guilt me into making an intelligent post...my intelligent thought processes shut down several days ago. I'll let you know if I manage to coax them to return.


----------



## assaulter_99 (Dec 2, 2011)

Irony said:


> I feel like you keep trying to guilt me into making an intelligent post...my intelligent thought processes shut down several days ago. I'll let you know if I manage to coax them to return.



Oh the Irony... 

Intelligent entry indeed!


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 4, 2011)

Wow, I can't believe that everyone has let this die!!!

*My official entry*! Many things have taken place in my life on the internet. I have 

been an admn, moderator, and just a simple member on several different forums and web 

sites. One day while writing a review on a specific piece of computer hardware I decided to 

do some Google searching for other reviews to get an idea of what to include in the review. 

Of course everyone can imagine the response one can get when “Googeling” something. None 

the less I came across TechPowerUp!  Now realize this was “way back when” that this all 

happened. Um, it was in the AMD s939 days to be exact. I read a review of the exact 

motherboard I was to do a review of for another web site and wondered “wow, this site looks 

pretty cool.”  Of course I just went on my way and my business of writing the review, 

however, in the back of my mind I still thought about TechPowerUp! And how cool it looked 

and how good of a feeling I got when looking through the forums and how tight everyone 

looked at the first glance. After writing that review I found myself frequently visiting 

TechPowerUp! On a regular basis, even though I had not registered! Naturally, as I am a 

member, it was just a matter of time before I registered and started posting in some of the 

forums and threads within the site. Within a few weeks of registering and posting I had the 

opportunity to actually meet some of the longtime members, moderators, and even one of 

the founders! What a frigging awesome thing to be able to do! Some of the members, you 

know who you all are, were sooooooooooo kind to me and welcomed me so much that I 

really felt that TechPowerUp! Was my home on the internet! Keep in mind that I was in fact 

a moderator and product reviewer for another web site at the same time. What to do? Well 

simply put, the other site owner actually sold the rights to the site and left me with a 

choice to make. The new owner asked if I would like to write reviews for the site still, which 

really did not work out, so the bottom line is: TechPowerUp! Became my home on the 

internet!  Damn, I don’t know about anyone else, but TPU is my home page when I start the 

internet! There is so many awesome members on this site it is just staggering! How can one 

measure the life changes that a simple web site can make? The kindness and friendship that 

I have found on TechPowerUp! Is just un-measurable! I have so many friends in the site and 

on gaming sites due to TechPowerUp! Can never be answered by any other site! Yes I am a 

member of other sites, however I just have not found any of the other sites to even begin 

to measure up to the quality and sincerity of TechPowerUp! Where have you been on the 

internet in your life? The internet can and will change your life in many ways. Take a look at 

many of the members that have thousands of posts. It will show how great of a site 

TechPowerUp! Is!  TechPowerUp! Has touched my life in so many ways it is just not 

measurable.​


----------



## scaminatrix (Dec 4, 2011)

Best entry so far is Kreij's Simon & Garfunkel cover I think, come on peeps get those entries in!


----------



## Irony (Dec 5, 2011)

@ stinger: That was quite good. very muchly what I had in mind. Now I'm gonna have to reword some things and think for myself...

(Subject to drastic amendment at any time unbeknownst to you.)


                                                        OFFICIAL ENTRY v2.0
                                                        (this is my official entry. please do not discard or bend.)

     I have not been a member since the beginning of time, (something like 2004 I think) But I think that this is the best site on all of the great omniscient internets. 

I've actually only been here since September; however, this still seems to be the most incomparable site I've ever visited. 

The very first time I came here, I believe I was looking for advice on whether I was going to fry my chip and or Motherboard running it at 1.63v 24/7. Within minutes of posting, Cadaveca and JrRacinFan were there to rescue me, and help me realize that my $80 dollar ASUS board was approximately worthless; Never in such blatant obvious disregard for tact, but with graciousness, seasoned with salt. I was also given much timely advice worth its weight in gold. 

Just in the last four months since then, I have gained inestimable expanses of knowledge I previously thought was unattainable. I have become a member of TPU; a privilege available only to those intelligent and discerning enough to perceive true greatness of character in a site which they may observe. Which is why only the best examples of humanity coexist with us here. Well, at least 78% are fairly good examples.

This is also the only site I am a member of, and proud to say so. I actually look forward to checking in and seeing new posts, any free second I get. It is an addiction, that we all must feed; and one of the very few which is beneficial to ones' health, mental and otherwise. I tried earlier to think of a single descriptor to depict TPU, (fail) but have come to the conclusion that it may not be possible. Its very essence is held dear to those who understand the true value of it, as a database of immense knowledge stored in the minds of each of us, as well as a place to come and discuss anything that bothers, interests or concerns you. 

I write this, not for the sole purpose of trying to awe Kriej; (I'm generally a terrible butt-kisser so I didn't even try) I wish to display my sincere appreciation for the existence, maintenance and furtherance of this revered Internet abode; as well as the members who make this worth returning to. Without all of you screwballs, this would be another toms hardware. 

Okay, even without you I'm sure it could never dip that low...


To TPU!  


_____________________________________________________________________________
I'm glad that's over. Now I can sit back and watch stinger or yogurt win. The last contest I won was a jellybean guessing contest; I think there were like 608 and I gessed 520. I was the closest guess. I guess I was the least dumb 7-year-old, lol


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 5, 2011)

Bumpage!


----------



## yogurt_21 (Dec 5, 2011)

*entry*

whilst I sat in my room pensing, my mouse a blot on the screen dancing,
came a whisper from the screen hissing, speaking of what I'd been missing,
claims of a wonderous, magical place of which I had never seen before.
The colors how that glimmerd dreary, oh how I longed not to be weary,
for all the other sites that had made claims of their most certain lore.
They all failed to garner interest, for their false claims gave me no rest,
without truth or fact to be seen anywhere within their core.
qouth the tech nerd, nevermore!

but this site oh how it was different, such wonderous reviews had I spent,
so much time and hours browsing as I never had before. 
The reviews were unbiased, factual, the products were all present, actual,
clearly placed within a realm of stats and figures and so much more.
how could I have wasted all those hours, browsing all other tech towers.
only to be cut and baited by the biased reviews of lesser yore.
quoth the tech nerd, nevermore!

Yet beyond the amazing reviews waited, an amazing commmunity abaited,
all alert and capable of delivering apt advice to the hardcore.
The communities experience wondrous, all their projects made me hungrous,
for the kind of system that would leave the posers mouths upon the floor.
The hours how they ticked by, the market cruising, pouncing, defy,
all the former limitations my other systems had before.
quoth the tech nerd, nevermore!

Techpowerup the wonder of the internet, how can anyone ever forget,
all the talent, experience, power that comes with our rapport.
The news, reviews, articles, projects; arguments, deals, hardware, laments,
all the wasted time on weaker poser sites I'd seen before.
How can anyone ever doubt, all the epicness of our clout,
None can ever come close to the might of this site so now hear our roar.
qouth the tech nerd, GIVE ME MORE!

- end entry

I'll admit not my best work, but still I like it.


----------



## Ahhzz (Dec 5, 2011)

Come, overclock, mod.
Computer support, good friends.
TechPowerUp Rules.

my official entry, btw...


----------



## Kreij (Dec 5, 2011)

The Jeep club I am a member of ...
http://www.wxow.com/story/16182578/legendary-civilian-jeepers-donate-record-amounts-of-food

Don't tell me you can't help someone this Christmas in some way.

On topic, Keep up the great entries !!


----------



## de.das.dude (Dec 5, 2011)

*official entry*


jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
Old Uncle kreij is coming to town,
Giving a surprise gift(s) away!


----------



## Irony (Dec 5, 2011)

Tatty_One said:


> Bumpage!



See post #52


@Kriej: Check it out, Its a Legendary Civilian Jeeper, right here in the same Internet as me!! 


I haven't done too much legendary helping lately...I ran over my dog with a tractor.  I don't think that helped anything though....


----------



## happita (Dec 5, 2011)

*My official entry*

techPowerUp! is the Superman to my Zod. So many times has it saved me from making such silly purchases which would've costed me THOUSANDS! I am as stupid as a cast member on Jersey Shore when it comes to a car's mechanics. However, when it comes to computers, the great people on here including the sexy Uncle Kreij, no matter your age  have helped me understand and learn much about this great industry dominated by computer geeks!! And most importantly to me, I found out what I want to do with my life in regards to a career. It is to become a PROFESSIONAL COMPUTER NERD.

The last time I bought a prebuilt PC not knowing anything and getting ripped off by Gateway 10 years ago is in the past. 5 years ago ALL retail stores/chains/outlets have felt my initial wrath much so like all those bullies did when Lewis Skolnick got back his pride and respect towards the end of Revenge of the Nerds 

This place is so awesome, so many diverse personalities here it keeps this place very interesting. This is the only website in which I am an actively participating forum member.


And lastly I will end it with a poem, the poet that I am 


If there's a little bit of sunshine that seeps through here,
Don't be surprised if Uncle Kreij's browneye is near,
Kreij is the best there is, was, and ever will be,
Kissing his ass is as simple as 1,2,3,
Don't be fooled, that earthy aroma is what cologne is made of,
Skunks get jealous, it's ironic, but the smell is great stuff,
Ok, I think it's enough of my toilet humor and fart jokes,
It's time to end it with a heart folks


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 10, 2011)

bump this up to the top


----------



## _JP_ (Dec 12, 2011)

Bump, while I don't come up with something to enter the contest.


----------



## JrRacinFan (Dec 12, 2011)

There are multiple reasons why TPU is grande. The most dominant one that makes it super that comes to mind, the community as a whole, well minus erocker 

Happy holidays! For our members that do observe it, Merry Christmas!


----------



## Kreij (Dec 15, 2011)

How long does this contest run? Geez ... can't I get my prize now?

Oh wait, it's my contest, darn ... 3 more days people.


----------



## FordGT90Concept (Dec 15, 2011)

Undercover Moderator ™ said:
			
		

> *your entry MUST be marked as your official entry.*



Because stuff like this happens (and the image hosting ):




Makes me laugh everytime I see it.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 15, 2011)

Just part of what makes TPU great. LOL


----------



## qubit (Dec 15, 2011)

*TPU: The Addiction*

Yup, I have to confess, there's something incredibly compelling about TechPowerUp. I can't leave it for even a minute. The addiction has got even "worse" since I started posting news - the buzz is awesome.  Nothing gets close, not hardware upgrades, fast driving, not scary rollercoasters, not alcohol, not drugs, not food, not winning a million, not sex (lemme think about this one) nothing tops it. _Ever._

I've got my Sandy Bridge upgrade sitting tantalizingly, seductively, in her boxes for over a week, untouched. Why? Because there's news to write! A physical social life? Nah, not a patch; why do I wanna be around smelly real people when I can have virtual digital perfection instead? Sleep? I reluctuantly succumb to my biological requirements. Eventually.

Alas, Real Life majorly gets in the way: I have to go to work!  It all takes such an incredible amount of time away from my True Mission of writing news and making forum posts on TPU. At work, they don't like to see you using the internet, everything is logged and managers walk by all the time. However, that doesn't stop me. Nope. I keep a small Firefox window open and visit TPU discretely. If I can, I even make a few posts. Yup, dangerous but worth it. 

And why is it so good? The staff and the members, of course. An aura of awesomeness emanates from our master, W1zz, infusing the site and all of us with it. We have the best mods and staff on the planet and our members are the best on the internet (yes, I've met them all). I am humbled to be a part of this. 

Yeah, that's why you won't find better than TPU, online, offline, _anywhere..._

_Official quantum entry_


----------



## Tatty_One (Dec 15, 2011)

For an Englishman thats noticeably void of any "eloquent english"


----------



## Irony (Dec 15, 2011)

3 Days to go till some garrulous soul is gifted an item yet unbeknownst. 

Stinger 608 did a nice one


----------



## Kreij (Dec 15, 2011)

*Maybe* on the last day when I close the contest (not the thread), I'll post what the prize will be.
It will take me a day or two to pick a winner as I will reread all of the entries in case someone changes something in an earlier entry.


----------



## AhokZYashA (Dec 15, 2011)

*this is my final answer*

TPU, yes, TPU... TechPowerUp.. 

It all starts with a story...
One upon a time.. there exists somewhere, a site. that is said to hold the biggest power of all techsite of all universe.. Here is someone (lets name it Melati), who is in a big and epic quest, of searching the information of the endless power and flowing knowledge in technology and superpoweressness in information of computer parts.

Melati, who is a boy, despite his name. is on an unending and goalless journey of finding THAT site. He searched everywhere, from Timbuktu to the Mount Everest. he spends many years. But, he have yet to find it. Then, while walking along the the google pages, with a keyword of "tech knowledge", He suddenly found a tiny road, underlined and in blue color. which called techpowerup.com,, At first, he had doubt, of what waiting for him in the other side of that tiny road. With a bit of courage and lots of sweat, He enters the road, he kept walking and walking, not because its a long, heavy, and twisted road, its just because of his unability to walk faster than 56k. after a long and painful walk....

He found a big house, with lots of room, a cheerful and welcoming atmosphere. He anxiously and slowly walk, to the big front door, that places tons and tons of informations, of the latest, sickest, most informative information of all places on earth. on that front door, theres a big sentence, that says "Welcome, come on in". After seeing that message, Melati now with sparkly eyes and smiling face, goes inside, where He found many rooms, filled with many people, chatting, talking and teaching each other. Melati then goes to the front of one of the rooms door. He can listen to the things that the people inside are talking about. But, he can't come in to discuss. as the door is locked and he have no key to open it. 

Melati then walks to the other side when theres rooms without doors, where theres volunteers, showing and teaching lessons. 

Melati then enters the Registration room, where he is given a key to all rooms inside that house.

inside that house, Called TechPowerUp House. Melati, finds everything he need for his knowledge, He finds out that, inside that house, the information is just endless, it keeps flowing, 

Melati meets with many" people, some are great people, some are greater, and then some are even greater people. 

TechPowerUp house, have the best staff, the best teachers, the best lecturers, the best showcases, the best gallery, the best library, the best of the best in everything the universe have.

so thats why, now Melati is knowledgeable, of technologies, and latest news, and that is because of a big house called TechPowerUp.

Melati then want to give his best regards to W1zz for his lecture about vision, cadaveca on his lecture about body and mind, crmaris lectures about powers, and all the lecturers that teaches me, and guide Melati on choosing the right path.

for Melati and also for me, TPU is the BEST. nothing compares.


----------



## theJesus (Dec 16, 2011)

Kreij said:


> *Maybe* on the last day when I close the contest (not the thread), I'll post what the prize will be.
> It will take me a day or two to pick a winner as I will reread all of the entries in case someone changes something in an earlier entry.


No don't.  I don't want to know what it is unless I win; otherwise I'll be jealous


----------



## THRiLL KiLL (Dec 16, 2011)

bump!


----------



## Kreij (Dec 17, 2011)

Tomorrow's the last day, kids. Just another bump so no one misses out on their chance to win.
If you haven't entered give it a shot.


----------



## enaher (Dec 17, 2011)

My entry:

TPU Rocks  BITCHES, Respect


----------



## DonInKansas (Dec 17, 2011)

I'm not gonna drop any flowery language in order to win Kreij's heart.  Just a quick story.

I stumbled upon TPU in 2007 while making an attempt to get out of the Beige box world and build my own rig.  A TPU thread was the first one that popped up that answered my question.  I joined up soon after and blame TPU fully for my love affair with tech and computers.  Since that initial visit, I've made great friends, some of which have done stuff for me cooler than I ever thought possible for someone who's just a screen name/IM chatter/TeamSpeak voice out in Kansas somewhere. There's at least a dozen TPUers on my "must have a beer with that person before I die" list.

The layout is clean, the people are generally awesome, and I learn something new damn near every time I visit.  Whether that learning is useful or not depends on the day.   That's why I hang out here.


----------



## Irony (Dec 17, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Tomorrow's the last day, kids. Just another bump so no one misses out on their chance to win.
> If you haven't entered give it a shot.



Yay, I get to be one of the kids!

@doninkansas: What part of kansas are you in? I'm about 30 mins from Hutchinson


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 17, 2011)

Bump and better get your entries in!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## qubit (Dec 17, 2011)

enaher said:


> My entry:
> 
> TPU Rocks  BITCHES, Respect



  Nice.


----------



## scaminatrix (Dec 17, 2011)

Just a quick note Kreij - if the prize is a graphics card, please omit me from the contest; I'm all good for one so it'd be better going to someone who needs it.

Good luck everyone!


----------



## Kreij (Dec 17, 2011)

scaminatrix said:


> Just a quick note Kreij - if the prize is a graphics card, please omit me from the contest; I'm all good for one so it'd be better going to someone who needs it.
> 
> Good luck everyone!



You're a good egg, Scam, but you're still in.
I said the prize would be most appreciated by gamers but never said what it was going to be. 
Maybe it's a autographed copy of the original Minesweeper? !? !???


----------



## scaminatrix (Dec 17, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Maybe it's a autographed copy of the original Minesweeper? !? !???



They just don't make games like they used to


----------



## FordGT90Concept (Dec 17, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Maybe it's a autographed copy of the original Minesweeper? !? !???


Which reminds me, Skyward Sword has a minigame in it that is basically Minesweeper but a lot harder because it doesn't tell you how many bad spots are there, exactly how many bad spots border the current spot, nor does it leave it there so you have to remember what each spot was when you originally dug it up.  The rupees that pop up are: 0 (green), 1-2 (blue), 3-4 (red), 5-6 (silver), 7 or 8 (gold)

It is quite a bit of fun and I made a lot of rupees playing it on Beginner.


----------



## JustaTinkerer (Dec 17, 2011)

*Guess this is my final entry.*

Wish I had more time just found this thread.
(even ended up posting it the wrong bit as I have so meny tabs open).

Techpowerup, what can I say bout such a place.
I appeared here after a long and  laborious search for the best forum for the needs of a computer enthusiast.
I had been reading the informative, insightful and engaging reviews of the great man W1zzard for some considerable time and found myself drawn like a moth to a flame to the multi faceted forum the bares the moniker TPU.

My time here, though short, has had me coming back time and time again, I have learned so much I might never have known, I can now tell why erocker has an arrow in his knee, why Mussels is held in such high distinction and why qubit stretches the truth for a graphic card give away (  ).
I feel here a spirit of brotherhood and a thirst for benchmarks like I have felt no other place.
For some this is a place for answers, others a place to help, for me its a place away from the missus.  
I have found game deals, good deals and awful humor here, I have found answers, information and fun here.
Even when busy I find time for here, congratulation's to all here.


----------



## qubit (Dec 18, 2011)

JustaTinkerer said:


> and why qubit stretches the truth for a graphic card give away (  ).



No, never!


----------



## _JP_ (Dec 18, 2011)

I thought I would be able to do this during the afternoon. Stuff got in the way. Well, here goes nothing...

** Official entry **

Uninspired as I may be right now, it doesn't take a lot of fancy wording to describe this place. Mostly because, those that register, get the picture very quickly. 
The techPowerUp! Forums feel like a second home to me. A very pleasant one, might I add. What I like most about this place is one of the characteristics I have not found on other forums or communities (at least, often): Tolerance. 
It's not like in other sites, where as soon as you say something a little outrageous, or disagree with someone (that has a higher rank) you'll end up in a very intimate blind-date with a banhammer. 
I think the team is great and that they really show an enormous dedication to their work, which I value a lot. Brown nosing aside, I can't really say anything bad about those in charge here. And no, I'm not afraid of hammers. I just can't. I've been here for over a year (not a lot, I know) and it has been enough time for me to get to know who is who around here. And to find a place for me. Sure, I know I don't contribute a lot, but fellow users still value my opinions and take them to consideration. I've been in places where post count was the currency for knowledge and it was hell. 
Generosity is another thing I've found here. Something I was not used to see in forums. Or pretty much on the internet. 
I must say, the only downside to all this was my addiction, at first.  But this was due to being something new, something different, something good. I wanted to contribute, as a new member, because I felt I had knowledge and ideas that could help other members. And I did. After a while, moderation kicked in and I became able controlled myself not to read trough all of btarunr's daily news and W1zzard's/Darksaber's reviews first thing in the morning. Then again at lunch. Once more at the afternoon. And one last time before hitting the sack.
I can't play favorites with the mods, because that would be like picking a girl in the Playboy mansion to "play" with (No idea if the cleaning lady is hot too ). Impossible, because you want them all .
That's why I like it here. 

/entry

I hope I'm not late. *fingers crossed* (Different time zones and all that...)


----------



## JustaTinkerer (Dec 18, 2011)

Shameless bump, I have enjoyed reading the posts and would like more....
Don't get me wrong, I wanna win but winning vs personal enjoyment, well I still win, get your entry's in folks, for some it could be to late already.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 18, 2011)

This contest is now closed to new entries.
Thanks to everyone for participating ... jugding won't be easy, you guys are great.


----------



## qubit (Dec 18, 2011)

TPU is awesome. End of story. 

Fun post, not an attempted entry.


----------



## Irony (Dec 18, 2011)

Well, now that thats over, I can sit back and twiddle my thumbs hoping that I may win...something.


----------



## TheMailMan78 (Dec 18, 2011)

* Official entry *

Why is TPU awesome? Where else can a misfit like me end up doing news reports as staff. Understanding and compassion is something TPU is famous for. I'm a prime example.

As for brown nosing a mod......I can't. Its against my genetic make up. I think it would kill me.


----------



## Irony (Dec 18, 2011)

@Mailman: /\ Kriej already closed new entries.


----------



## TheMailMan78 (Dec 18, 2011)

Damn I thought the 18th was the last day


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 18, 2011)

Kreij said:


> 1) Contest is open to all TPU members, including all staff.
> 2) You must be in a location that I can legally send you something from the US, and you must be willing to PM me your name and address.
> 3) One official entry per member. Posting in the thread is allowed, but your entry MUST be marked as your official entry.
> 4) *All entries must be submitted before December 18th, 2011*
> ...



LOL, no as you can see in the #4 rule.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 19, 2011)

Okay, I had time to read through all of the great entries. It was tough to decide, but in the end the one that made me laugh the most and was suffiently over the top (and I'm still trying to purge my mind of the visuals) was

Post #12 by JC316


> This is my official entry.
> 
> TPU is great from the jump. Simple stuff like registering, you enter a username, e-mail, then you start posting. With other sites, the registration process is like *having to run nekkid through a cactus farm and not come out bloody on the other side*.
> 
> ...



A big THANK YOU to all who entered and played along.
JC316, I'll be sending you a PM shortly.

Merry Christmas everyone !!


----------



## qubit (Dec 19, 2011)

So what was the gift!  I'm on tenterhooks here.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 19, 2011)

qubit said:


> So what was the gift!  I'm on tenterhooks here.



You'll have to ask JC316.
The reason I didn't post the prize is because this was a "pick whatever you want for gaming" (up to a given $$ limit), so I really don't know.


----------



## Irony (Dec 19, 2011)

Congrats JC. Tell us what your gonna gift yourself,


----------



## qubit (Dec 19, 2011)

Kreij said:


> You'll have to ask JC316.
> The reason I didn't post the prize is because this was a "pick whatever you want for gaming" (up to a given $$ limit), so I really don't know.



Ah, well that's our answer - cool gift. 

You da man, Kreij.


----------



## _JP_ (Dec 19, 2011)

Congratulations JC.
And thank you Kreij for another great contest. 
Merry Xmas.


----------



## brandonwh64 (Dec 19, 2011)

Congratz JC!


----------



## Bjorn_Of_Iceland (Dec 19, 2011)

good entry, well deserved


----------



## JC316 (Dec 19, 2011)

First, I want to give a huge thanks to both Kreji and TPU. Thank you so much man! Kreji really made my Christmas this year. Me and my sister have been dying to get a Nintendo 3DS, I had wanted to get her one for Christmas, but I didn't have enough money to do it this year. I also wanted Batman Arkham City and Deus Ex Human Revolution. Lastly, I wanted to spread the love a bit, so I asked that he send a game to my good friend Linkin.

Again, HUGE thanks to Kreji. Merry Christmas to all and huge respect!!


----------



## qubit (Dec 19, 2011)

Awesome.  Enjoy your game, JC316.


----------



## TheMailMan78 (Dec 19, 2011)

JC316 said:


> First, I want to give a huge thanks to both Kreji and TPU. Thank you so much man! Kreji really made my Christmas this year. Me and my sister have been dying to get a Nintendo 3DS, I had wanted to get her one for Christmas, but I didn't have enough money to do it this year. I also wanted Batman Arkham City and Deus Ex Human Revolution. Lastly, I wanted to spread the love a bit, so I asked that he send a game to my good friend Linkin.
> 
> Again, HUGE thanks to Kreji. Merry Christmas to all and huge respect!!



Be sure to join the 3DS clubhouse man! PM me your Friend Code!


----------



## JC316 (Dec 19, 2011)

And here is our official appreciation video. Sorry if I pronounced Kreji's username wrong. Yes the kitchen is destroyed, my dad is currently putting in new cabinets and he got a little overzealous with the crowbar. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXMRibDBsQ8&feature=youtu.be


----------



## Kreij (Dec 19, 2011)

Nothing showing up yet with the Steam gift to Linkin, so if nothing by tomorrow I will regift it to him. Their store is being hammered with traffic and it's throwing errors constantly. lol

Once again, thanks everyone for participating !! 
It was a lot of fun.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 19, 2011)

On a side note ... this is the first time someone has asked that their prize (or a portion of it) go to someone else just out of kindness, generosity and friendship.

For that JC got a copy of [Prototype] to add to his game collection too.

You're a good egg, JC. Enjoy.


----------



## Prime (Dec 19, 2011)

oops, too late =^.^=


----------



## Kreij (Dec 20, 2011)

Prime said:


> oops, too late =^.^=



Sadly, yes it's too la.... *WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING?!? IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS YET !!!*

Person who submits the funniest description of what it's like to take an arrow to the knee, gets a gifted copy of Skyrim (no pictures please, just text)
If you have it already, pass it on !

Requirements : You must have a Steam account. Contest will close Christmas Eve (when I feel like it), and I will gift it that day/night/whatever so you can play it on Christmas day.
(You're can't win this one JC316  )


----------



## qubit (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm currently writing up an article on Windows 8 security for our members to argue over, so my entry will be made soon.


----------



## JC316 (Dec 20, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Sadly, yes it's too la.... *WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING?!? IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS YET !!!*
> 
> Person who submits the funniest description of what it's like to take an arrow to the knee, gets a gifted copy of Skyrim (no pictures please, just text)
> If you have it already, pass it on !
> ...



I already have Skyrim, my mom bought it for me.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 20, 2011)

I love sneaking extra contests into already closed contests. MWAHAHAHA... 

Stop with the kudos. I'm no different than any of the people in the Pay it Forward thread who want to help people out. I just do it in contests for some fun.


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 20, 2011)

congrats to JC!!!! Very well deserved to say the least! 

Kreij you just amaze me at all turns with the kindness, help, and generosity you give daily to this most awesome community!

*As for the Skyrim contest, I also have it, however I will enter just to gift it to some one that needs/wants the game and cannot afford it. *


----------



## Kreij (Dec 20, 2011)

Hey ! I found my giant jar of belly button lint I have been collecting for the past 50 years.
I can give that away in a contest !!!
*(THWACK)*

Ouch ... what's that in my knee?

Have fun


----------



## TheMailMan78 (Dec 20, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Sadly, yes it's too la.... *WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING?!? IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS YET !!!*
> 
> Person who submits the funniest description of what it's like to take an arrow to the knee, gets a gifted copy of Skyrim (no pictures please, just text)
> If you have it already, pass it on !
> ...



I was working in my back yard about 9 months ago when I took an arrow to my knee and fell on my wife. Now we have a son.


----------



## theJesus (Dec 20, 2011)

*Official arrow-to-the-knee contest entry*
*Disclaimer*:  I already own Skyrim, but I have somebody in mind who I'd like to gift it to if I somehow manage to win.

*Entry*:  I used to enjoy arrow-to-the-knee jokes like you.  Then I took a million identical youtube comments to my funny-bone and it doesn't work anymore.   I try to laugh at them, I really do, but I guess I tried too hard, because the men in the nice white coats came for me yesterday and put me in a lovely room that seems to made out of mattresses.

My subconscious must have seen this coming, because after I finally gnawed through the straps, I felt like I really had to poop, but it turns out I managed to smuggle a laptop in my anal cavity so I can troll GN and TPU in between the beatings and brain-washing.
















Then I woke up and pulled the arrow out of my knee.


----------



## AphexDreamer (Dec 20, 2011)

Games could have been better, till they took a console to the knee.


----------



## Irony (Dec 20, 2011)

*Kriejenerosity*

I already have skyrim, But I have a friend who is still a total Oblivion addict and short on cash.

__________________________________________
After Selfless Gift Giving took an arrow in the knee, it was all but forgotten. 

Then, one day, a selfish Mage Nord traveleing to Solitude found Selfless Gift Giving, laying on the side of the road, with an Arrow in the knee bleeding to death slowly. After learning the skill of Selfless Gift Giving, He slowly helped it back into existence through an annual Gift contest, and soon, this air of Selfless giftability began to grow strong and spread troughout all the world. 

This ancient Mage Nord was Kriej.


________________________
I've got a 33% chance of winning.


----------



## Damn_Smooth (Dec 20, 2011)

OK, true story. In November of 2005 I was a raging alcoholic. I think that I may have made a few fish jealous with my ability to survive on liquid. 

So anyway, I was completely obliterated and I decided to walk a girl I was seeing at the time to her car, which was only a few blocks away. Yes, I'm such a gentleman, I know. So we left my apartment filled with drunks and booze and proceeded to her car. 

In between her car and my apartment stood a very dear old friend of mine, a 2 and 1/2 foot fence. I would jump this fence every day on my way to work and the fence would stand there and take it like a... well... a fence. 

So, in my drunken state, I figured it would really impress this girl if I showed her my awesome midget fence jumping capabilities. But my dear friend turned on me. I still think I heard him say "fuck your drunken ass, you're not going over me this time." and as I did my flying leap, he grabbed my foot. 

As the ground came closer, I remember thinking "why fence, why you turn on me?" and then thud. My ability to get up under my own power had went the way of the dinosaurs. As I lay there doing my manliest whimper (I still had the girl to impress, you know.) she ran back up to my apartment to get someone to carry me back up there. My drunken friends came to my "rescue" and I use that term loosely because drunken friends are the absolute last people on earth that you want helping you walk when something is wrong. 

We somehow made it back up to my apartment which included a grueling 2 flights of stairs, where I proceeded to finish the 3/4 full case of beer that was left. Like a boss. After the beer was gone, I said "fuck this shit, take me to the hospital." and after another grueling trip down the stairs, away we went. 

The X-rays revealed that I had fractured my knee in 2 places, tore my meniscus and detached my ACL. That is the closest I have come to an arrow in the knee, and I hope to god that I don't get any closer.


----------



## JC316 (Dec 20, 2011)

Damn_Smooth said:


> OK, true story. In November of 2005 I was a raging alcoholic. I think that I may have made a few fish jealous with my ability to survive on liquid.
> 
> So anyway, I was completely obliterated and I decided to walk a girl I was seeing at the time to her car, which was only a few blocks away. Yes, I'm such a gentleman, I know. So we left my apartment filled with drunks and booze and proceeded to her car.
> 
> ...



Lol. I have a true story of my own, even though I am not in the contest, just for lolz. My sister, the same one in the video I posted shot me with a real arrow. It was a blunt tip, but she drilled me right in the heart. We were taking up archery, so we had the target stuff, well she was goofing around and aimed the arrow at me. Me like a dumb ass said "Go ahead and shoot". I THOUGHT I was far enough away that even if she did shoot that it wouldn't hit me, I thought wrong. I am not sure who was more shocked that it hit me, me or her.

So that was the first and last time I ever said "Go ahead and shoot" when someone had an arrow aimed at me.


----------



## Irony (Dec 21, 2011)

I was riding on the back of a tractor when I was about 10, and my dad backed up into a log that was sticking up. It pinned my knee to the tractor. I didn't break anything though, I don't think. But it shredded my favorite pair of jeans. 

Which trumps who, an arrow in the knee or a tree in the knee?


----------



## scaminatrix (Dec 21, 2011)

I sleep with a cushion between my knees, because one night I took a knee to the knee.

(Omit me please, I'm not into Skyrim; just here for fun )


----------



## Irony (Dec 21, 2011)

scaminatrix said:


> (Omit me please, I'm not into Skyrim; just here for fun )



HOW COULD YOU NOT BE INTO SKYRIM???

Also, is there a deadline to this thing?


----------



## assaulter_99 (Dec 21, 2011)

Irony said:


> Also, is there a deadline to this thing?



Yeah, prize is no longer up for grabs alas! We already have a winner.

Ah, misread your question then!


----------



## scaminatrix (Dec 21, 2011)

Irony said:


> HOW COULD YOU NOT BE INTO SKYRIM???
> 
> Also, is there a deadline to this thing?



I haven't got the time for games these days. I have got addicted to APB Reloaded and Battlefield 3 though  
Also, I don't do fantasy games like Skyrim and WoW (if this is what they call a fantasy game?); they're not my cup of tea.


----------



## Irony (Dec 21, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Sadly, yes it's too la.... *WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING?!? IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS YET !!!*
> 
> Person who submits the funniest description of what it's like to take an arrow to the knee, gets a gifted copy of Skyrim (no pictures please, just text)
> If you have it already, pass it on !
> ...



@assaulter:

I was talking about this one. He christmas eve, I see.


----------



## JrRacinFan (Dec 21, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Person who submits the funniest description of what it's like to take an arrow to the knee



There once was a man from Nantucket
He was walking some water home in a bucket

he decided for a stop to pee
Got shot with an arrow to the knee

Tried to remove it himself but said holy sh** f&*% it!


----------



## L|NK|N (Dec 21, 2011)

Even if it means "crying like a sissy girl", I would rather take an arrow to the knee than to not win this copy of Skyrim to gift to a very deserving friend.


----------



## theJesus (Dec 21, 2011)

LiNKiN said:


> Even if it means "crying like a sissy girl", I would rather take an arrow to the knee than to not win this copy of Skyrim to gift to a very deserving friend.
> 
> http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/6600000/ace-ace-ventura-6606326-367-305.gif





Kreij said:


> (no pictures please, just text)



tsk, tsk :shadedshu


----------



## DonInKansas (Dec 21, 2011)

An arrow to the knee?  Pfft.  I have two kids, ages 7 and 3.  Considering that in the past 7 years I have taken more nutshots than the entire cast of Jackass, I would gladly take an arrow to the knee if it meant that the nutshots would stop.


----------



## L|NK|N (Dec 21, 2011)

theJesus said:


> tsk, tsk :shadedshu


Well aware of that! Thank you!  I had to share my laughs because I swear that is the image i get in my head when I hear the phrase. 



DonInKansas said:


> An arrow to the knee?  Pfft.  I have two kids, ages 7 and 3.  Considering that in the past 7 years I have taken more nutshots than the entire cast of Jackass, I would gladly take an arrow to the knee if it meant that the nutshots would stop.



Classic!


----------



## theJesus (Dec 21, 2011)

LiNKiN said:


> Well aware of that! Thank you!  I had to share my laughs because I swear that is the image i get in my head when I hear the phrase.


I know 

Now I really want to Jim Carey say that line.


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 24, 2011)

Bump and here is my *Official* entry. 


I was killing Dark Elves, left and right
I fought them hard with all my might

A spell from the darkness knocked me down
And there I lay upon the ground

From where it came, I had no notion
So I drank a healing potion 

I groaned in pain and stood to flee
Then I took an arrow to the knee

I limped away to the shadows dark
And hid for hours 'till I saw my mark

He was mean and nasty, an opponent true
And I knew what I would have to do

I shouted loud with shock and awe

Fa la la la la la FUS RO DAH!


----------



## Black Panther (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij said:


> *
> 
> RULES:
> 
> ...


*

*


----------



## TheMailMan78 (Dec 24, 2011)

Black Panther said:


>



lol you need to read back a few......THIS ISNT THE CONTEST YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.


----------



## Black Panther (Dec 24, 2011)

TheMailMan78 said:


> lol you need to read back a few......THIS ISNT THE CONTEST YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
> 
> http://www.altpress.com/specials/blog/scott/uploaded_images/starwarscap33ff1-730837.jpg



Ohhh  the contest continues... now it's a free copy of Skyrim 

Darnit it's barely xmas eve and vodka's already shot me an arrow to the knee....


----------



## theJesus (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij, Steam apparently approves of your Skyrim giveaway, because it's now on sale for $40


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

I'm gonna try to get to all the entries ASAP (I'll leve it open for now)
Thurday morning about 3AM I had my wife call the ambulance 'cause I had severe abdominal pain.
Had to have emergency surgery for a perforated appendix. Just got out of the hospital about 1/2 hour ago and I'm a little groggy from pain killers.
At least I don't have to worry about my appendix anymore. lol (hurts like hell though)

I guess you could say my appendix took an arrow to the knee. heh


----------



## TheMailMan78 (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij said:


> I'm gonna try to get to all the entries ASAP (I'll leve it open for now)
> Thurday morning about 3AM I had my wife call the ambulance 'cause I had severe abdominal pain.
> Had to have emergency surgery for a perforated appendix. Just got out of the hospital about 1/2 hour ago and I'm a little groggy from pain killers.
> At least I don't have to worry about my appendix anymore. lol (hurts like hell though)



Pfft. I didn't expect to hear excuses out of you.


----------



## theJesus (Dec 24, 2011)

Damn, glad you got that taken care of before it got worse.  Hope you feel better and make a full recovery soon


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

TheMailMan78 said:


> Pfft. I didn't expect to hear excuses out of you.



LOL ... At least I got out in time so the contest isn't late. I'll still do my best to get it closed and the prize sent tonight.


----------



## stinger608 (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij said:


> I'm gonna try to get to all the entries ASAP (I'll leve it open for now)
> Thurday morning about 3AM I had my wife call the ambulance 'cause I had severe abdominal pain.
> Had to have emergency surgery for a perforated appendix. Just got out of the hospital about 1/2 hour ago and I'm a little groggy from pain killers.
> At least I don't have to worry about my appendix anymore. lol (hurts like hell though)
> ...



Holy crap man!!! Damn I am glad your alright my friend!!!!



TheMailMan78 said:


> Pfft. I didn't expect to hear excuses out of you.



Jesus Leave it to MailMan to come up with that one


----------



## JrRacinFan (Dec 24, 2011)

Tis the season for appendectomies and arrows to the knees! Merry Christmas Kreij from your ruptured appendicitistic buddy! Had mine done just after thanksgiving.


----------



## Damn_Smooth (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij said:


> I'm gonna try to get to all the entries ASAP (I'll leve it open for now)
> Thurday morning about 3AM I had my wife call the ambulance 'cause I had severe abdominal pain.
> Had to have emergency surgery for a perforated appendix. Just got out of the hospital about 1/2 hour ago and I'm a little groggy from pain killers.
> At least I don't have to worry about my appendix anymore. lol (hurts like hell though)
> ...



That's a pretty shitty Christmas present for yourself there. I'm sorry to hear that.


----------



## _JP_ (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij said:


> Had to have emergency surgery for a perforated appendix.


Sorry to hear about that. That's one hell of a scare to have on Christmas eve. I'm glad to hear everything turned out alright. Hope you recover without problems.


----------



## Irony (Dec 24, 2011)

You guys are all so sympathetic; I was gonna ask if I could have all of his stuff if he keeled over. 


Hope you get feeling better Kriej.


----------



## JC316 (Dec 24, 2011)

Kreij said:


> I'm gonna try to get to all the entries ASAP (I'll leve it open for now)
> Thurday morning about 3AM I had my wife call the ambulance 'cause I had severe abdominal pain.
> Had to have emergency surgery for a perforated appendix. Just got out of the hospital about 1/2 hour ago and I'm a little groggy from pain killers.
> At least I don't have to worry about my appendix anymore. lol (hurts like hell though)
> ...



Damn man. I am glad you are OK. Emergency surgery sucks. Get well soon!


----------



## theJesus (Dec 24, 2011)

Damn_Smooth said:


> That's a pretty shitty Christmas present for yourself there. I'm sorry to hear that.


I'd say not dying is a pretty good present.


----------



## Damn_Smooth (Dec 24, 2011)

theJesus said:


> I'd say not dying is a pretty good present.



True, but not having to spend time in the hospital would've been a better one.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

I going to close this contest at 5:00 pm Central (a little less than 45 minutes from now). 
so get your entries in, if you have not already done so !!


----------



## Irony (Dec 24, 2011)

My horse took an arrow to the knee. I took a screenshot, but you said no pics. 

That wasn't my entry. My one about Kriejenerousness was my official.


Edit: will you name a winner at 5:00?


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

Shortly after that as I will go through all the entries again.


----------



## nt300 (Dec 24, 2011)

erocker said:


> What's the prize?


It starts with an H and ends with a 0


----------



## Irony (Dec 24, 2011)

Is that like a miniature train?


----------



## qubit (Dec 24, 2011)

I took an arrow to the knee, therefore you lot are gonna get a Christmas Special editorial in a few hours whether you like it or not - muhahahaha!!!


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

Contest is now closed. Off to read entries

Oh ... btw, the requirements for this contest stated nothing about calling your entry official or that you were limited to one.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

Okay there were not as many entries this time so that my job a little easier.

The contest was to "write the funniest description of what it's like to take an arrow to the knee".
While the entry was not specifically taking an error to the knee, it cracked me up and probably was pretty close to what it would be like.

That would be Damn_Smooth's entry ...


Spoiler: Damn Smooth's Entry



OK, true story. In November of 2005 I was a raging alcoholic. I think that I may have made a few fish jealous with my ability to survive on liquid. 

So anyway, I was completely obliterated and I decided to walk a girl I was seeing at the time to her car, which was only a few blocks away. Yes, I'm such a gentleman, I know. So we left my apartment filled with drunks and booze and proceeded to her car. 

In between her car and my apartment stood a very dear old friend of mine, a 2 and 1/2 foot fence. I would jump this fence every day on my way to work and the fence would stand there and take it like a... well... a fence. 

So, in my drunken state, I figured it would really impress this girl if I showed her my awesome midget fence jumping capabilities. But my dear friend turned on me. I still think I heard him say "fuck your drunken ass, you're not going over me this time." and as I did my flying leap, he grabbed my foot. 

As the ground came closer, I remember thinking "why fence, why you turn on me?" and then thud. My ability to get up under my own power had went the way of the dinosaurs. As I lay there doing my manliest whimper (I still had the girl to impress, you know.) she ran back up to my apartment to get someone to carry me back up there. My drunken friends came to my "rescue" and I use that term loosely because drunken friends are the absolute last people on earth that you want helping you walk when something is wrong. 

We somehow made it back up to my apartment which included a grueling 2 flights of stairs, where I proceeded to finish the 3/4 full case of beer that was left. Like a boss. After the beer was gone, I said "fuck this shit, take me to the hospital." and after another grueling trip down the stairs, away we went. 

The X-rays revealed that I had fractured my knee in 2 places, tore my meniscus and detached my ACL. That is the closest I have come to an arrow in the knee, and I hope to god that I don't get any closer.



Congrats Damn_Smooth. Send me a PM with your Steam e-mail account if you want the game for yourself, or the Steam e-mail of who you would like it gifted to.

Thanks for participating everyone and Merry Christmas !!!


----------



## qubit (Dec 24, 2011)

Another well-deserved win DS - well done!


----------



## Irony (Dec 24, 2011)

Congrats DS.

Although I was under the impression we were supposed to be talking about arrows here...


----------



## Damn_Smooth (Dec 24, 2011)

Thank you Kreij, and thank you to everyone else too. TheJesus has been making me want to play this since it came out, and now I'm going to.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 24, 2011)

Game's on its way. Enoy DS !!
Thanks again everyone.


----------



## theJesus (Dec 25, 2011)

Damn_Smooth said:


> Thank you Kreij, and thank you to everyone else too. TheJesus has been making me want to play this since it came out, and now I'm going to.


I have?  I didn't even realize!   I must say though, that I knew you'd win as soon as I saw your post; nothing could have topped that.


----------



## Damn_Smooth (Dec 25, 2011)

theJesus said:


> I have?  I didn't even realize!   I must say though, that I knew you'd win as soon as I saw your post; nothing could have topped that.



Thanks man, I thought you and everyone else did a really good job too. I wasn't sure who was going to win. You talked a lot about how good the game is both here and on GN, so I've wanted to play it since reading your posts.


----------



## JrRacinFan (Dec 25, 2011)

Congrats DS! Merry Christmas dude.


----------



## Damn_Smooth (Dec 25, 2011)

JrRacinFan said:


> Congrats DS! Merry Christmas dude.



Thanks man. Merry Christmas to you and everyone else too.


----------



## Kreij (Dec 25, 2011)

Irony said:


> Although I was under the impression we were supposed to be talking about arrows here...



@ Irony (and everyone else) :
The rules stated to write "what it's *like* to take an arrow to the knee".
I assume that know one here has actually taken an arrow to the knee, so at best people would either have to completely make up an experience or equate it to something similar that may have happened to them. I was looking for humorous descriptions of the pain, humility, embarrassment, etc. of the experience (what it was like).

My writing contests (which I prefer as you guys come up with outstanding stuff) are usually open to interpretation and freeedom of expression in the way you want to go about it.
I always ask for humorous entries to keep the contests light and fun, so if the entry makes me laugh every time I read it, it has a very good chance of winning as long as it meets the other contest requirements. Superfluous and OTT writing and analogies are always a good way to go.

Forgive me if the rules were a little vague, I'll try to be a little more specific as to what I am looking for in future contests.


----------



## JrRacinFan (Dec 25, 2011)

Irony said:


> Congrats DS.
> 
> Although I was under the impression we were supposed to be talking about arrows here...



For some reason this comes to mind


----------



## qubit (Dec 25, 2011)

Damn, this arrow to the knee still hurts like hell.


----------

